Young Writers Society

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Oh, this was sweet! I liked that it had a happy ending, which becomes pretty scarce sometimes, doesn't it? Well I definitely liked the whole general idea, and I'm not usually a huge fan of rhyming poetry - it really has to be done right. Now there was one paragraph I just couldn't quite get to work for me:

She was a member of the players and the leader's wife,
And she loved the boy Popeet as dear as her life,
Because she had no children of her own;
And for the poor ill-treated boy often she did moan.

It just doesn't have the rhythm like the other stanzas. It was close, but...not quite. Something about it's just a little off.

Anyway, all in all, I really did like this poem. The happy ending made me feel so relieved, because honestly through the whole thing I just had the feeling of dread that it would end miserably.

Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

I thought this was well done, good job!

And the poor coloured man seemed very discontent,
And his grief overcame him at this moment;
And he wrung his hands in agony wild,
And he cried, "Oh! help me, great God, to find my child." [I don't really think you need to start every line with 'and'. Actually, I wouldn't start any line with 'and'. It just seems unnecessary.]

"And Ada, my dear wife, but now she is dead,
Which fills my poor heart with sorrow and dread;
She was a very loving wife, but of her I'm bereft,
And I and my lost child are only left. [This line just seems a little awkward]

And, [I don't think you really need the 'And' here] alas! I know not where to find my boy,
Who is dear to me and my only joy;
But with the help of God I will find him, [This line seems to be a bit choppy and doesn't really flow like the rest of the lines. Maybe you need to add another word or syllable?]
And this day in search of him I will begin." [This line is a little awkward as well. I know you're trying to rhyme, but that's one of the reasons I sometimes dislike rhyming poems, because they sometimes sound a little forced.]

To a company of French players that performed in the street, [This is a bit choppy, since it continues from the last stanza. It's not a complete thought in itself.]
Which was sad news to hear about his boy Popeet;
And while searching for him and making great moan, [You don't make moan, you can moan, but you can't make it. Moaning is an action. This just seems a weird way to put it.]
He was told he was ill and in Madame Mercy's Home.

She was a member of the players and the leader's wife,

This line seems a bit choppy, it sort of breaks the flow of the poem.

Well, I thought this was pretty good. It flows nicely in most places and it's interesting, too. I do think you should try not to start so many line with 'And', seeing as you seem to do it a lot in this piece, but that's just my opinion. Anyway, good job
~Tayla