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189 Reviews



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Points: 4166
Reviews: 189
Thu Nov 24, 2011 2:16 am
vox nihili says...



What could be done? What should be done?

Of silently crying children behind thin walls in the night, who no one sees.

No one pauses to listen. To the man sitting on the stairs, who breathes heavy in his sleep.


For him the hunger is real, yet he never asks, not once, not ever, for a coin.

Unlike the scammers on the streets, he doesn't pace the curb-side with a sign.

He lies on the stairs, goes to the town office every morning, asks the woman at the desk, softly,

Is there no job for me today?

Or quietly crying children behind thin walls, too frightened to look away from behind their hands.

The ones who never speak up, who hide behind long-sleeves in summer,

and have three lies for every bruise if anyone darts a furtive glance

The ones a little too pale, a little too thin, a little too quiet and a little too quick to answer

In their soft, broken voices, eyes always on the floor.

What could be done? What should be done?

None of these answers come with ease.

But with each sunrise, their pain grows.

What could we do? What should we do?

Maybe, just maybe it's time to listen.
  





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65 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 323
Reviews: 65
Thu Nov 24, 2011 2:49 am
NightWalker says...



I like the way you Express the theme in your poem!It working as a great poem for me.The way you wrote this poem are so beautiful and wonderful.
"What could be done? What should be done?

None of these answers come with ease.

But with each sunrise, their pain grows.

What could we do? What should we do?

Maybe, just maybe it's time to listen."

*This is the good one.I really like it.It trully touched my heart.So good job from you.Keep writing,Okay!
^^NiGhT.WaLkEr^^
  





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14 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1292
Reviews: 14
Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:00 pm
bagelbaby says...



I really liked this one.. To me, it was ALMOST remorseful? If that's the word I'm looking for. I don't know, but I liked it. The structure really stood out and made the flowiness a lot stronger. This part really stuck with me though, and it was my FAVORITE part..

Or quietly crying children behind thin walls, too frightened to look away from behind their hands.

The ones who never speak up, who hide behind long-sleeves in summer,

and have three lies for every bruise if anyone darts a furtive glance

The ones a little too pale, a little too thin, a little too quiet and a little too quick to answer

In their soft, broken voices, eyes always on the floor.



That was brilliant. Many people couldn't put that into words, but you did it fantasticly well. Good work! Keep it up. :)

-Bagel Baby.
  








We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
— Ernest Hemingway