Young Writers Society

This was the story of a girl with a plan,
who wasn't one to give into those things
that most high school girls did.
This was the story of a girl who was determined,
she didn't care about this whole love deal
and she didn't mind that it didn't care about her.
This was the story of a girl wanting to live her life,
and in her case that mostly meant that
she didn't want to be attached to anyone.

This was the story of a boy with a dream,
he was going to live his life
and he was going to enjoy it.
This was the story of a boy who was ready,
because he knew his life
was going to be exciting.
This was the story of a boy wanting not to be attached,
and in his case this meant he didn't want anyone
and nobody wanted him.

This was the story of a girl and a boy with plans and dreams,
who were determined and ready,
wanting to live their lives unattached.
Long story short: girl met boy, boy met girl.
Now this is just the story of a girl and a boy.

The end.

Aw i really loved the ending, it made me smile
The repetition gets a little too much, but other than that i really liked it.
And your poem really suits your title. And i love the way what you wrote actually is very true, people change when they meet other people, i just wish this poem had a novel story to it.

Keep it up

Hudz
xxxx

Hey Iheartbooks,

That was cute I like how it's simple, quirky and sweet. It's just that: sweet.
I don't regularly write poetry, but I read a whole lot, and what stood out in yours, was that it didn't have a nice flow to it. There was no rhyme, although I know that isn't necessary, but on top of that, it was just a bit choppy. Still; writing is individual and you can do it however you want, so I suppose you could simply just be doing something different, which I admire.

That aside, I liked it.

NightWriter x

i really liked this poem. It was short, funny, and not totally expected. It made me laugh.

The idea was interesting, and had potential to be great, but I feel like your words were awkward and the lines didn't quite flow together. I'd advise you to... for lack of a better word, be more poetic in your writing. Describe feeling and emotion, tell of love and loss and everything in between. The ending could've been a bit more powerful, but again it was sort of lacking that kind of oomph. It doesn't have much depth and is a little repetitive to read. I suggest revising and adding more detail to it so it's not just sort of words thrown here and there.
Perhaps I'm just no understanding your writing style, but this is just my personal opinion. Good luck, and keep writing

I love the simplicity of the poem, it was a great poem.

I liked reading your poem. It was like the the title said "long story short." Very creative. It was simple, and it made me smile.
Keep on writing!
-Snowy