Young Writers Society

This doesn't flow like a good poem; it's an experiment I'm doing to see if I can, in fact, write a story using poetic form. It's an excerpt. The character is George, also known as Glitch, a young thief and... well, yeah. Prostitute. This is when he first introduces his method of employment.
Critiques are welcome; however, when you criticize, please be constructive! There's nothing worse than receiving criticism but no offer for improvement.
Here it goes.

Dirty Little...

Some people consider
every one of us to be the
lowest of the
low; we are

young boys and girls,
out of money, life
until we must take a
ride (literally) on a dirty road,

bound to forget the client (it
only lasts so long anyway).
Don’t you know
your body is a business?

Horizon,

I'm proud to say that your experiment is a success. In the sense that this is indeed a pretty good poem (I liked it, anyway), and it does indeed tell a story.

The flow issues you are mentioning have to do with your line breaks. While the structure of your piece looks very pretty, there are some awkward breaks in here.

Try to never end your poems with prepositions or articles. Think of a poetic structure like a map. The structure of the poem serves to guide the reader to the meaning and essence of the poem, much like a map will guide the viewer to his or her destination. So your stanzas are ideas and function much like paragraphs. Your lines function much like sentences (though poetic structure is a lot looser than prose. So they don't have to be complete ideas or sentences.) Also, structure can control pacing. So the shorter the line, the faster the pace. The longer the line, the slower the pace.

I don't think the stanzas/pace are much of an issue though. I think your flow is fine, just your line breaks that can use some help.

Well, I'm not sure how, or who made these rules up in the first place, but through the centuries since poetry has been written, the ending words of every line tend to capture the reader's eye and attention. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we spend a little more time on these words as our eyes glaze across the page, but typically:

FIRST words and last WORDS
are typically what hold our EYE
and so make them COUNT.

BUT IF
you write A
poem LIKE
this, then THE
important words ARE
harder TO
STRESS.

I hope this helps,

~ as always, Audy