Young Writers Society

So. "Brotherly Arms" is nowhere near finished and I'm already kinda stuck. So, I'm taking a break from that and going back to my roots. That is, depressing first-person narrative with lots of swearing and fun stuff. What I came up with was this: a dead person narrating his last day on earth. He's a sixty-something year old man. One of his sons is a drug-dealer, the other two are doing fine. He fantasizes about having an affair with his secretary, yet loves his wife. And he is dead, and telling us about it. This is from the first paragraph:

"If you expect one of those stories where people learn stuff, and how to love each other, and grow... Go rent the fucking Godfather trilogy or some high-art shit like that, because where I come from we just accept things. You? You see two kids walking into a school and shooting everybody and want to know why. And if the fuckers don't tell you why-- Then you blame the father, or the mother, or society... Some things, my friends, just happen. I'm dead now. I know. That's what we do."

Until now, I think, it's pretty good. I think I can keep it going before it sounds like I'm rambling. I have a plot, don't worry. Well, what do you think? It's called "Call Me Dead."

I think that 'shotting' should be shooting and I think you need a warning in your title of this post for the swearing but yeah, it sounds like a good idea. If it's anything like the one I'm currently reading (Again, sorry it's taking so long!) I'm sure it will be brilliant.

hmm...i like the way it starts. personally i'm not big on reading a swear word every other sentence, but that's opinion. I also think "Call Me Dead" isn't the best title. Too punny to be original, not punny enough to be clever.