z

Young Writers Society


Together forever



User avatar
6 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 792
Reviews: 6
Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:43 pm
LoneWolf161 says...



:) together forever :)
you once told me that you wouldn't let go
but you did I hope one day I forgive you
and that we can be happy together
again forever.
by Me for my Nanny
  





Random avatar


Gender: Male
Points: 552
Reviews: 21
Sat Nov 05, 2011 12:34 am
Abid155 says...



I Like The Gesture That It Was For Your Gran, Which Is Beautiful cause I Got One Myself and
I Wanna Write a Poem About Her
But I Honestly Think that This was too short, I Think What U Wrote Qualifies For one average stanza and i think you should write more, it would help the idea that your trying to convey
  





User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 811
Reviews: 23
Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:02 am
gokubrother says...



I couoldn't understand your poem very well. It took reading it five times and looking at Abid's comment to understand it. It's too short. I didn't get enough time to capture the essence of it. The poem didn't convey the message clearly. Maybe you could write a few more stanzas for your "Nanny". That way people would 'get it' a lot easier.
‎"If you can't build a fire in your house, you can't expect to set the world ablaze."
-Serj Tankian
  





User avatar



Gender: Female
Points: 1090
Reviews: 2
Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:42 am
panda21 says...



l just love it my friend its just allsome how did you write it it brings love lolzzyou should right some more up and post them up couse they sound qwite goood listen to your heart and write more jokes listen to your best friend saying write more write more write more now now now now now ******************************panda21***************************************
  





User avatar
29 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 555
Reviews: 29
Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:33 pm
Shadowwriter1 says...



Grammer! Grammer! Grammer! You need to work on your grammer. With stories, poems or even song lyrics you need to know the basics of grammer and how to use it. [i]"you told me you would never let go" This sentence needs a capital and a commer after the end because the next line starts with "but". You need to remember to put in capital letters, full stops and commers, even in poetry.
Apart from the grammer the poem is reall good and really touching. It has a powerful meaning and will steal the hearts of many. Keep writing because after all, writers are made, not born.
  








It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
— Voltaire