Young Writers Society

You take your pills at night before you sleep,
because you know your brain will bleed.
It's nothing you can control,
and something you can handle,
but it's not nearly as relaxing as a pair of Sunday Jeans.
So you take your cigarette, light it to smoke,
even though you know it might make you choke.
You put the knife to wrist, to carve the skin,
Before you know it, you're bleeding again.
So you take your pills at night,
before you sleep,
because you know throughout the night,
that your brain will bleed.
With the hurt and scars,
the pain you know tomorrow will bring.
The things you can forget during the day,
but it all comes crashing down at night,
while your brain
bleeds.

That was so well written, and cut like a knife because it felt so true... Really deep man... well done.

haha nicely written ,has a dark meaning to it but visualises reality ,the effects of drug abuse ,the reality

i love it keeep up the great work ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** panda21**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Hi Alex!

Wow! This poem is really deep but it had a true, reality sense too it as well. I could not put this topic into a better poem than the one you created. The imagery was dark but wonderful (in that way). I couldn't quite see any grammar mistakes. The ending was kind of ruined though.

AlexInCircusland wrote:while your. Brain.
((Bleeds))

I have a feeling you are trying to put emphasis on the words, but I think you shouldn't because they are very powerful anyways. I would take the full stop out. I would also take away the brackets around bleeds... I'm not sure why that is there.

But I loved it!

Deanie x