Young Writers Society

Confessions Of A Wallflower

Please don’t be offended
When I turn down another beer.
(I’d hate to puke on your DC shoes.)
I don’t think you’d want to see me
Completely sloshed.
Or maybe you would.

And now that you mention it,
I hate when you whisper in my ear.
Maybe I wouldn’t mind if I knew you at all.
But don’t you understand
That the music is too loud
For it to be sexy?

I won’t bore you with a lecture about
Your bedroom eyes -
Please refrain from straining your baby blues.
Yes, I see you,
Tilting your head to look down my shirt.
Honestly, I’m up here.

Please don’t be offended
When I ask you to give me some space.
It’s not that I mind you rubbing up against me,
groping me against the wall.
Oh wait - I do.

Hahaha, oh I can't even tell you how much I agree!

Being home schooled until last year I only recently went to my first high school dance, and must say that I was completely disgusted. This is basically how my thought train derailed also. I love the raw sarcasm of this piece, it's genuinely funny and at the same time so true! I might suggest not capitalizing every line, but that's completely a matter of opinion.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Haha this is great! I can't relate to it but I can empathise with you. Nice work as always. very funny.

That was really cool. It kind of mate me dislike being Male for a second hahahahahaha.

Very good At first I was a little reluctant to find a liking to this poem when you mentioned DC shoes [I just have a thing about certain specific pop culture references in literature. I don't even understand it myself exactly because I do it too xD], but I continued reading only to be pleasantly surprised. I'm a freshman in college, and this poem could have been written by me in various situations. I agree completely! The sarcasm was basically spot on and characterized the author, even with the piece being so short; definately a voice that our generation could relate to.

Thank you for writing the things I'd say to my ex-boyfriend (that is, if I ever talked to him again). This is funny, sarcastic, brilliant.

Nice quirky poem! Although I've never been in that situation before, you described it so clearly i found myself feeling your disgust and angst while i was reading that poem. Good job! Keep it up!

Sorry to be different, but maybe you'll be relieved to hear that I don't really think that this poem is very funny at all. I really do feel for the author, hoping that this isn't truly the case, but knowing that these kinds of situations happen all too often. I do have to say that this was a very descriptive poem, that is for sure. You really gave the reader some vivid pictures to work the imagination with. In the same breath I do have to day that I did enjoy how you have such a choppy poem. The poem itself flows very well, but the story feels choppy. This really gives the reader the chance to understand the piece, pick up some emotion, and then they have time to think about it. I must say, very well writ indeed.
(P.S. I have a feeling you feel very similarly to me about how idiotic and shallow our culture can be at times...)

Hi Amy!

Yes, eve-teasing, lecherous and perverted. Many men share these traits and have a certain pride about it. Maybe just to show that they are actually 'men' or either they are completely twisted.
This subject, according to me is a very important and serious topic that can't simply be brushed off or hushed aside. There is a lot of stuff like this happening and stuff that is way more intense than what you've described. Though I know that there is hope yet, to turn all this around after reading your poem's message.

Like the previous reviewers have said, this piece has a great element of sarcasm meshed with the bitter reality of the situation. The persona isn't particularly enjoying the state that she's in but has no qualms in showing her utter disgust.

It's bold and insightful and a real eye-opener. You've managed to give us a great deal of public awareness in such a simple, casual yet serious way. Respect!

Great job and keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza

Haha completely agree! I think your poem is great, the way it sort of flows, but it doesn't have that same old monotonous beat. I really like it, expecially when I think how it relates so well to real life. Very good

This is absolutely brilliant-- I love the last line. You really managed to get into the head of the girl who is assumed to have no actual personality. The last line is excellent. Good work.

Haha, well this was just a joy to read! It was witty, sarcastic, smart, and still managed to be poetic. I think murtuza said everything that I would have said in this comment. There was disgust in the speakers voice, rightfully so, and it's a situation that happens all too much. I enjoyed the frank shortness of it, and that you refrained from using any unneccessary words. A quirky poem, and very well written.