That was awesome, a poem for poet's. I'm not sure why, but it made me think of Todd Alcott's Television. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but either way it was fantastic.
wow.You made a awesome poem!I really like your poem.It was unique and fantastic to me.
"Now, at the end, think but don’t say: ______1) Gods don’t exist without stories ______2) Spirits unfold, and leaven quick ______3) The bard has left the building ______4) anything by any poet" *especially this part!:)nothing more to say.you are quietly brilliant n_n
I could have sworn I reviewed this ages ago, but apparently not. So here's a review for reals now.
This poem, first time I saw it, amused me immensely. It still does, but when I saw the title, all I remembered of it was the novel formatting rather than the actual content. Even now, having just read the piece, all that sticks with me is the formatting, and while it's novel and memorable, that it's the only thing carrying the entire piece makes this piece feel rather empty.
The spacing out of all the lines only reinforces this feeling of empty content, and while it does a lovely job of reinforcing the theme visually, it's hard to remember that such emptiness was the main theme, rather than it being incidental to the format.
I'd suggest perhaps compressing things a bit more visually, and perhaps adding a bit more content to make the overarching theme a bit more memorable so that this piece is remembered as "the poem about emptiness of meaning" rather than "that poem with the novel formatting".
Gender:
Points: 963
Reviews: 6