Young Writers Society

I cant take it anymore
The truth's coming out
My desire from my core
No messing about

When i walk down the street
And see another man
My body starts to heat
Like a frying pan

I imagine my chimera
With him in my room
Me wearing mascara
Him being my groom

That's right i'm gay
The gayest there is
There's nothing you can say
For any man, i'm his.

Wow I really loved this. It was moving and I just wnated to stand up and become and activist. To see someone, who is able to write that they're proud to be who they are even though they get mocked and laughed at, really makes me smile. I have realitives who are gay and it always pisses me off (pardon my language) when I hear gay jokes and people laughing at others. It makes me want to punch them! Haha. The only thing I'd change about your poem it to make it int stanzas, since when I clicked on it I was hesitant to read it all because it was all one giant list.
At first I didn't understand why you mentioned society, but then at the end I got it. Maybe make it a bit clearer in the beginning? I don't know, so don't change it. Haha. I really loved it and the spirit you brought to it. 5 owls out of 5.

I really loved this poem the rhyming was overall okay, except there were a few instances when it did seem forced. But I totally understand cause sometimes it's very difficult to find the right rhyming words. I love how you wrote about this topic and I'd like to congratulate you for writing this because it may have took some courage and you may have had to step put of your comfort zone. Great, great job! Thank you for this.
Peace,
Snickerdooly