Young Writers Society

What Am I?

I am in the room in which you sleep.
I will hide in the depths of your mind.
You can’t get rid of me,
No matter how hard you try.

You think of me during the day,
You lose all focus,
When you think about me.

I am a verb and a noun.
I make your heart pound.
I create infinite possibilities.

I am within the air you breathe.
I lie within your artwork.
I can be sweet like candy,
Or scare you to death.

I create an ocean of emotions,
audacity,
Fear,
Stress,
Delight.

What more could you possibly need,
Your entire life revolves around me.

I ask you again…
What am I? What am I?

A dream?

I really like this poem because it has potential and I can relate to it. What I also like most about it, is that it stands the test of time. Which means that in 10 years, people will still be able to have a connection to it and get the same vibe that you are trying to offer in this poem. However, as much as I liked it, I dislike that you changed the rythmn every now and then. It kind of messes up the poems flow while your reading and it was easy to lose track of what you were talking about. Overall, it was a good piece of poetry.

I like this poem a lot! It's more of a riddle like you said. There isn't a proper flow or rhythm to this piece though. I would, if I could, call this just a riddle. *
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Hope it helped!
-Angel
Although my entire review depends on whether my answer was right xD

Thanks for your reviews! This was just kind of a "spur of the moment" type thing. I am glad you liked it.

It is a great poem! I think it is dream. I don't think to be or not to be is a great title for your poem but the rest is perfect!



Lili

I loved your poem! It really made you think outside the box for the answer. I, personally, was clueless until I read the other reviews and then it made perfect sense. It's an awesome metaphor. You did a great job finding new descriptions. However, some phrases rhymed and some didn't, so it kind of seemed off balance. I also agree that the title doesn't really connect with it. If your life revolves around it then how could it not to be?? I think it's a great poem. Loved it!!!!

I really like your poem and especially the repetition of what am I at the end. I don't know why but it makes it a bit more childish but in a good way

I changed the title. Is it better? If not, any suggestions?

I love your new title! I liked your old one too, but this one ties it all together. It connects to the poem way better than the old one did. Love your poem again, again, and again! <3

Really interesting. Definetly caught and kept my attention. Of course it's fairly obvious what it is (not a bad thing at all), but it explains all the factors dreams really bring to us, and what they're made of. All in all I really liked this. Nicely done.