Young Writers Society

Hi guys! Doctor Alfred Symon here! So many have misinterpreted this poem so its a must to read this first! The poem is about a guy who went to me, the doctor, because he was feeling sick. And since I noticed him as my childhood bully, I quickly gave him a fake disease called the Bullies' Croup. The following verses tell about the many symptoms of the disease, nothing to do with the bully himself, but with the KARMA I want him to receive. Read well!




Beware all bullies!
Try to brace to your mummies!
The croup of all ages is here
You will die, if I can make it clear
To those who bully another
Your life will be sadder



First, you will experience breathing spasms
And faint tickles on your bosoms
Your larynx will feel bloated
In days, you won’t notice it just exploded
Everything you eat tastes like treacle
Yes, there’d be no miracle!
Just pain and suffering
Oh, please stop your crying
To all evil kids who dump heads on toilets
You’ll feel like you’re cooked on fiery skillets
Sooner or later you will vomit blood
And it will have an aftertaste of mud
You will also be weak on the edge
Smaller kids may give you an atomic wedge
Tasty, isn’t it?
My dear patient, also prepare to be hit!
Because a car will surely hit you
And for the time and date, I have no clue



Maybe it’s just luck
Or maybe muck
But I’m only a mere doctor
I’m no prophet or proctor
Although, carry this, young bully
On twelve o’ clock, (Stop that, you look silly)
Later this evening, a ghost will pay you a visit
And then you will realise it’s a boy you hit
Who died because you hazed him
Because he didn’t give your every whim



How to cure it you ask?
In the open school public, you bask
And shout with joy “I’m now a good boy!”
“And I’m no McCoy!”
Well my patient, good luck!
And try not to suck
You will live, I think
(Sigh, another death on the brink)

I like the idea but you could maybe elaborate more on the idea of bullying instead of spinning more and more horrible punishments for the bully. But maybe you just wrote this because you were bullied. If so then I am not against your venting of anger in a poem because that's one of the best ways of output. I hope you can talk to a teacher or parent about it.

Another thing, maybe you wanna try separating the poem into stanzas? That'll help a lot.

Anyways, great job! Keep it up!

Thanks for the comment! I think you're right about the last part!

About the first part of your comment, I think you got it a bit wrong. The speaker, me,is actually a doctor in this poem, while the patients of the poem, the ones I am actually talking to, are bullies. I'm diagnosing Bullies' Croup, a special, and when I mean special I mean imaginary, disease which only bullies can have. Those aren't exactly punishments, but symptoms of a kind of disease (vomiting etc.) I'll clarify that later on on the post.

Sorry for the misinterpretation! Thanks again!

Hey, I don't really see a point in this poem but that's just me. But i think you have very good wording and its set up in a good way. But maybe you could try writing about something differnt because your only trying to make it to bullies or people being bullied but that's just me. But over all it's good so Keep writing