Young Writers Society

Hinting at contentment
but concealing faded misery,
I wrought a grey delirium,
a spectral universe.

I misplaced my treasured sanity,
exchanged it for absurdity,
unearthed new forms of music
and inscribed them in my mind.

Strange emblems inked in plasma
whorl across my darkened hallways,
the graffiti of my criminals,
the outlaws of my brain.

My extramural cloak of skin
reveals naught but my body,
but you'll catch a hint of madness
when you leer into my eyes.

The best part of this is the vocab. The way you combine something so complex makes an image I hardly ever see writers make. This is a beautiful piece, nice work

Neat. As mentioned above, nice vocab. Love the flow of the piece - there was never a point where your line breaks, punctuation, or rhythm forced me to awkwardly change the way I was reading this (so I guess you could also say that this is melodic [?] and certainly that it could be made a song).

This gave a great description of insanity (for that one contest?, but it didn't come off as insane. My impression was that the narrator was in a stream-of-consciousness state of mind and hypothesizing what he/she might be like as insane. Although, if the speaker really is insane, he/she has frightening clarity of mind... we should be scared of this brilliant person, oh yes.

Great piece, keep writing!

This is great. Far beyond other poems I've read here today

Great imagery and use of metaphor

I really liked your broad vocabulary. Big, different words just make any form of writing much more enjoyable. A large vocabulary speaks a lot about a person.

Rarity ♦