Young Writers Society

Esmeralda

There is no word aside from beauty,
To describe one that charms
Bewitches, mesmerizes
The heart of the purest men.

One that even corrupts a man of God,
Imploring Lucifer for her love.
Her dark eyes lit up an unknown fire
Her scent fills him with carnal desire.

There is no word aside from kind,
To describe one that saves a wretched,
Ugly beast from the scorching whips
And cruel snarls from the crowd.

Her kindness soothes the fires of hell
Within the beast till he learns to love again.
He forgets his ugly looks and distorted face
And vows to protect her till death.

There is no word aside from naïve,
To describe one that forgives a betrothed man
Who promises love, flowers and bliss
For just one night of simple infidelity.

He stood there beside her with a smile
Until jealousy struck him with a dagger
Leaving her blamed and sought to pay
For a crime done by the hands of another.

Death came for her, and all those she loved
Her beauty never seen and yet never gone.
The beast came and stayed with her till the end
Till nothing else but dust remained.

Good day, Vicky.

Who IS Esmeralda? Anyway, this is Alfred giving a Kudos Revue.

I think your poem is really fantastic. I really love how you told the story because it induced so much scenery and imagery as if I'm reading a short story in a verses form. The word choice is very beautiful. The verse construction is fine by me because it was a narrative type.

Your concept of beauty is quite cliche. but even though it was, you presented it with much emotion and style that it differed with the others. Also, I've read Hugo's work and I think the poem is a great prelude to it,

Try to fix the capitalization, dear. And also, as I've said a while ago, it was beautiful, but it was coming to a story. It is already full of imagery but not in a poetic way but a story-told way. Try to add conventions and interchange constructions and structure to make it more poetic.

Thanks for a wonderful read! Your hunchbacked score is:

Your Revuer,
Al