overthinking roads and how cars are going places and the houses that are little shimmers to me.
its already 11pm but the roads outside of my window are still filled with cars going somewhere. and just like the houses that are just little lights that are just little shimmers in the distance that are made up of so many people that will never be more than just people, to me, i feel small. i have never had somewhere that i needed to be (at least not physically). there have been many times that others have preferred i was present, to help them complete a task for their own gain. but it is 11pm and i am alone because there is nowhere that needs me. and maybe my poetry sucks but at least when i write i am not alone like every other moment of my life.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
overthinking mermaids and glow in the dark stars and how i have lost my magic powers
as a kid, i wished upon the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. how i wish stars could be that simple once again.
i used to collect shells at the beach. i was a mermaid who got trapped on the shore and the only way for me to get home was to sing enchanting songs of hope and healing and magic. i cant remember those songs anymore, and maybe my magic has faded, but ive still got the scars on my hands to prove that i used to be a mermaid.
and someday when im a mother, ill see my children play, and maybe then, ill catch a glimpse of the magic of what it is like to be a glow in the dark star-wisher and a mermaid, one last time.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
A little mermaid! 🧜🏻♀️Great poem Ellie, I like the connection between the stars and the sea. (absolutely love that sprinkle of magic in your title ) The poem gives off a kind of happy sad feel, if you know what I mean. Good luck on the rest of NaPo!
ELLIEEEEEEE the lemonade poem <333 the way you turned the phrase on its head and perfectly connected lemons to feeling alive- just- ahhhh it's amazing :'DD also is that a baby Ellie photo :eyes: very intrigued by the combination of capitalized starts of lines and lowercase "i"s in "I already love her." as well !! you're doing fantastic!!
Forgotten and broken. Are forgotten promises Broken promises? Or are they just whispers Lost in the wind, Trees fallen in a forest, And flames that burn, out of sight? You have whispered to me Every word i have forgotten. You have fallen so many times, But i never saw you (so did it even happen?). And you have been burning for my entire life. So maybe thats why i never recognized the flames.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
It was only my mothers blood on the carpet, Because i had already died, years ago. She never rocked me as a baby, Instead she left me to explore the limits And creativity Of my own mind. How far was i willing to go To feel like someone loved me? As i got older, the idea of who loved me diminished And rather, it was the idea of how much i felt wanted. I turned to anyone who was willing to Spare some change, spare some time, Spare some touch, Spare an ounce of love. I grew, like the raspberry bushes and banana trees In my grandparents yard. And when their grey hairs spread over Their entire scalps, I also felt old, on the inside. I had been told that i was mature For my entire life. But the little girl who hated hugs, Grew into a woman too afraid to say no And too desperate to admit That i would say yes to anyone Who tried to love me. So really, i was alive but not living. My blood had already been spilled And i had already atoned for my own sins, As a babe. It was only my mothers blood on the carpet. Only hers, and never mind.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
Today I realized that you Have spent thousands of dollars, To make me feel safe. My entire childhood, I felt unsafe with you. And so, today, I finally realized, You are trying to rescue the little girl you never saved. You are trying to show me that you are changed. You are trying to make me forget, or move on, Or understand, that the monster in my closet is finally dead.
And so here i am, With everything you have ever given me. And i still feel broken, because every cent you have Is not of equal worth of the fragments of my Shattered, aching, little lonely heart That you crushed with your own hands.
I feel like i am saying hello to the beginning of my life. Ill be nineteen in four days and i am still scared of the dark Every single night, because all the things i cannot see Remind me of all the things I cannot control. And for my entire life, That was You.
And i love you So much that it hurts. But i also remember that past And that is a different type of hurt. Its a hurt that lasts forever. While love only lasts until i forget you.
What i want to say, is that I forgive you. I forgive every unforgivable person you were And every unlovable person who you screamed at me For not loving. My heart has been mended, Only to be broken a thousand times again. But maybe that is life. And maybe thats what makes being alive A journey that is worth living. I will never be a stereotype Because of the hell you put me though And the woman your trauma has allowed me to become. What i really want to say, Is thank you for hurting me, i guess.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
All i want, is to be a writer. I want to write words that heal pains That are labelled as eternal. I want to foster emotions, deep in my heart, Which inspire me to keep going. Every page i turn is a heartbeat That is keeping me alive. And every poem i finish Is a breath of air to my lungs. All i want is to be a writer. All i want is freedom to speak the words I am too afraid to speak. Because my words always fall short, Unless its poetry.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
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