Young Writers Society

Chapter one
How many of you have ever been told by your parents who you could date and who not to date?
Well iam a victim of that, it all started when I met Jacob in the tength grade and my life would never be the same.

"Can you believe it? We're sophmores." my best friend Nicole screeched. We were just getting onto our 2nd bus. You see in my district different buses go to differnt places so some of us have to ride more than one bus.
"Would you chill out chick?'' I said laughing. She giggled and said fine.
Me and Nicole had known each other for at least two years and knew each other preety well. She was more freewilled than me and sometimes a tad more loud. At 5"7 she was preetier than me to with white blonde hair and stunning features, I sometimes felt like a plain jane next to her. When I sat down I began to observe the bus for old friends but my eyes caught a guy in ther front seat , there was another girl there but I didnt care. For some reason I was attracted to him and turned when he turned around to talk to another friend.
"Shit! Did he see me?" I said to myself.
I looked up to see Nicole smiling, she had followed my gaze to the guy I had been staring at.
"His name is Jacob Tanner."
"Huh?"
"Come on Lynn I saw you looking. Hes a junior and he only lives like ten minuters from you."
I just laughed and he turned and looked at me, he had really pretty eyes and long shaggy brown hair.
He smiled and turned because the girl next to tugged on his sleeve.

Tell ya what dont send crit unless you need to but im outta time

How many of you have ever been told by your parents who you could date and who not to date?
Well I’m a victim of that, it all started when I met Jacob in the tenth grade and my life would never be the same.

"Can you believe it? We're sophomores." my best friend Nicole screeched. We were just getting onto our 2nd bus. You see in my district different buses go to different places so some of us have to ride more than one bus.
"Would you chill out chick?'' I said laughing. She giggled and said fine.
Me and Nicole had known each other for at least two years and knew each other pretty well. She was more free willed than me and sometimes a tad louder. At 5"7 she was prettier than me to with white blonde hair and stunning features, I sometimes felt like a plain Jane next to her. When I sat down I began to observe the bus for old friends but my eyes caught a guy in there front seat, there was another girl there but I didn’t care. For some reason I was attracted to him and turned when he turned around to talk to another friend.
"Shit! Did he see me?" I said to myself.
I looked up to see Nicole smiling, she had followed my gaze to the guy I had been staring at.
"His name is Jacob Tanner."
"Huh?"
"Come on Lynn I saw you looking. He’s a junior and he only lives like ten minutes from you."
I just laughed and he turned and looked at me, he had really pretty eyes and long shaggy brown hair.
He smiled and turned because the girl next to tugged on his sleeve.

There I fixed all your stooopid mistakes!!
Oh, and this sounds familiar....maybe a personal narative???

Memohirs ..

What's that mean?

Memoirs?
I'm pretty sure there isn't any H.

And Nameless and Shamed, stupid is spelt with a 'U'
And Narriative with 2 R's!

AHH!

memhoirs is the same as memories just a more fancy way of sayin it...and yea nameless and ashamed, its STUPID and not oooo...you should be ashamed of your spelling...lol..just jokin

No... TBR is quite right. It's "memoirs." Why? Because it's a French word. The word "memohirs" doesn't exist. Or if it does, it is in... the twilight zone. *plays scary music*

Also, the words "broken heart" should not be combined UNLESS the character's last name is Brokenheart. If that is the case, then capitalize the name. If not, then separate the words.

So... the title should be "Memoirs of a Broken Heart."

Nameless, you got most of the grammatical errors, but not all. Thanks for cleaning it up as much as you did though.

How many of you have ever been told by your parents who you could date and who not to date?
Well I’m a victim of that. It all started when I met Jacob in the tenth grade and my life would never be the same.

"Can you believe it? We're sophomores," my best friend Nicole screeched. We were just getting onto our second bus. You see, in my district different buses go to different places, so some of us have to ride more than one bus.
"Would you chill out chick?'' I said laughing. She giggled and said fine.
Me and Nicole had known each other for at least two years and knew each other pretty well. She was more free-willed than me and sometimes a tad louder. At 5'7" she was prettier than me with white blonde hair and stunning features. I sometimes felt like a plain Jane next to her. When I sat down I began to observe the bus for old friends but my eyes caught a guy in there front seat, there was another girl there, but I didn’t care. For some reason I was attracted to him and turned when he turned around to talk to another friend.
"Shit! Did he see me?" I said to myself.
I looked up to see Nicole smiling, she had followed my gaze to the guy I had been staring at.
"His name is Jacob Tanner."
"Huh?"
"Come on Lynn, I saw you looking. He’s a junior and he only lives like ten minutes from you."
I just laughed and he turned and looked at me, he had really pretty eyes and long shaggy brown hair.
He smiled and turned because the girl next to him tugged on his sleeve.