Young Writers Society

Okay I just started this trying to get over my writers block. So any comments would be nice.

“And to the bride and groom.” Here the cool voice paused and glanced around the room.
“A life full of happiness and love.” The sound of glasses clinking filled the recently quiet room. Murmurs of agreement mixed with the giddy happiness in the room after the wedding was almost peaceful. Almost. I slid down in the metal chair as the music started, hoping no one would actually ask me to dance. As a bride’s maid it was my duty to dance with anyone who asked me, and basically have a good time. Those were my sisters orders and I wasn’t about to obey them. Sure it was her wedding day and I should do everything in my power to make it enjoyable, but that was just crossing the line. I’m not really what you would call the sociable type.
Couples all around the room got out of their seats and walked hand and hand to the dance floor. “It’s Your Love” was playing and my sister Cassandra and her husband Brandon led the dance. She had her head rested on his shoulder and they moved as one, they fit together. What am I doing? I’m going soft, I told myself shrinking farther down in my seat as I noticed the guy who had made the toast coming towards me. Daniel Walker, he had been the best man in the wedding and he was Brandon’s best friend. “Great.” I said out loud, but not loud enough that someone might hear me. I sipped the champagne that had just been sitting there calling me, wanting me to drink it. God, I’m so stupid I thought.
“Do you want to dance?” He whispered in my ear. I looked up at Daniel, he wasn’t half bad looking. What could it hurt? I reached for his awaiting hand and he pulled me to my feet. “You want to wait till the next song?” He asked me leading me away from the dance floor. I just followed, it was probably best that I didn’t make a scene.
“Why?”
“So I can have more time to dance with you.” He took my hand and led me into the lobby of the hotel that the reception was in. He had a sly smile on his face and his aqua eyes had a twinkle in them. I felt my cheeks heat up and I turned away from him trying to hide it. He pushed open the door and held it open for me as I walked out and into the brisk winter night.
“Kind of chilly out here.” Daniel said rubbing his arms. He turned to face me and I watched the wind blow his shaggy long brown hair into his face. He tossed his head and the hair returned to its original position.
“Yeah,”
“So how old are you?” I thought about his question, now if I answered it he might think I’m interested, but if I don’t?
“18.” He nodded his head and just stood there.
“Shouldn’t we go back in?”
“Why? Are you afraid to be out here alone with me?”
“No, not really. I don’t even really know you.”
“Honey, by the time I’m down with you, you will.”
“What’s that supposed to mean.” I felt the breeze on my neck and shivered, sending goose bumps down my arms, maybe it wasn’t just the breeze. I thought and immediately dismissed it. I thought about taking my hair out of its fancy arrangement, but I didn’t.
“You’ll find out.” I didn’t like how he was talking. I remembered the blind date my sister had set up between us. It had been a disaster. As if reading my mind he brought it up.
“So you remember that blind date?”
“Actually I’m trying to forget it.”
“Oh really? I found it rather amusing.”
“Well I guess that feeling is only one way.”
“Okay then, let’s go dance.” He led the way back into the hotel and up to the reception. He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the dance floor.
“One dance,” I told him.
“Aw, but can we negotiate?”
“No, one dance.” Daniel wrapped his arms around my waist and I put mine around his neck.
“Well this is nice isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was a beautiful wedding. Cass looked beautiful in that dress.”
“She really did. I was watching Brandon and he couldn’t keep his eyes of her.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah it is.” I laid my hand against his shoulder as we swayed to the music. So much for trying to keep a safe distance between us. The last time we had gotten together we had made out the whole night while we were suppose to be watching a movie, but I wasn’t going to let that happen again. No way. God I hope I wouldn’t.

There it is.

Well, it seemed kind of random and spastic... like it didn't really have a point. But if it's just for practice then that's not really a big deal. I write stuff that doesn't really flow or fit together very well sometimes just to get myself writing.

You did have some good descriptions, but your grammar needs a bit of work. You're good for thirteen, though. I couldn't write half as well at your age. *thinks about a story that I was working on when I was thirteen and shudders*

Thanks is was just kind of for practice. I don't know if I'll continue.

Grammar is something to work on. Also, it seems like you weren't really sure of what you were writing about, as if, like Areida said, you weren't sure where it was going. Everything was pretty confusing, especially when the dialogue started. There was some descriptions in the beginning that didn't really make sense, like:

Murmurs of agreement mixed with the giddy happiness in the room after the wedding was almost peaceful.

It seems like you just need to rearrange your sentence, but, as it is now, it is kind of confusing. Plus, you added some things that seemed unnecessary and lacked some things that could help describe the scene better.

It was okay, but it needs some work.