Wow. Touching. I almost cried! Sooo much passiona and emotion was put in this piece and blah blah and such. You. Are. The. Best. Writer. In. The. World.
You're new? Great seas! Why haven't you gone to the Buddy System yet?
F-f-fantastic work. I loved the ending. What a twist! Their girlfriends?! HE WOULDN'T! *wipes tear* I have to say this is one of the most gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, heart-to-heart pieces of literature I have ever read. You, sir, must get published.
I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research! - "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." - Jack London.
I have no idea if this actually happened or not, and weather it did or not is regardless, there is no feeling in this piece, it is just bitter, slightly illogical anger. Why are you angry? Is there anything anyone did on this site besides call you that name to make you so angry? Is your angry masking some deeper emotion that you yourself don’t quite understand? What do you do with your time when you are this angry? (break a lamp or scream into a pillow etc.) I mean this piece opens up a very powerful opportunity for you, you can show the other members of YWS who you really are, the person that you become when your emotions over power you. Give us some metaphors on how you may be affected by this anger. Hell, give this anger a face and make a story out of is, I might actually read it.
Do you see the possibilities here? I mean, ever piece of writing comes with opportunities, but for this piece it doesn’t seem like you acted on any of them, why is that? Sit down and truly fight these people with the power of your voice in writing. Blog, makeup a scenario, give them all fake names, and go from there. I don’t care, but if you are going to use YWS as an actual useful tool for your issues, use it wisely and in good mentality. Keep writing ~SnowBerry
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques -- like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come. — Homer Simpson
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Points: 1198
Reviews: 83