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Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:59 pm
AngelKnight900 says...



Well this really isn't any really good story. It's just more of some quick storytelling. So enjoy and tell me what you think. Also, there are no names in this just to represent that this story could have happened to anyone. Again, enjoy.

Once there was a couple; the girl was a junior and the boy was a senior.

They broke up in the beginning of the school year, due to their love for each other diminishing. The girl went through a state of depression while the boy went through a state of happiness. On October, there was a rumor going around that involved this ex-couple. The rumor was about how he left his ex-girlfriend who was actually pregnant. He was bothered by this but he shook off the rumor; he saw it as a failed attempt to make him feel guilty about breaking up with her.

But the rumor got worse. The boy could not apply to much colleges or get much recommendations because his coaches and teachers looked down at him. They had also heard the rumor, apparently. His coach told him he had to take responsibility and his teachers told him the exact same thing. They questioned his decision to go to college while having such a responsibility. The boy needed these people for his grades could not support him. Since everything was going wrong for him, he went to the confront his ex.

He cornered her at her locker and started screaming at her. He said things like 'i hate you' and 'i wish you didn't exist'. He cussed at her but what hurt the most was his last sentence.

"I will never forgive you," he whispered "And I never loved you,"

He left the girl at her locker, weeping. She kept screaming 'wait' and 'i can explain' but the boy kept on walking. He had to shut her out of his life.

Then a week before Christmas Vacation, she ran up to him before he crossed the street and held onto his jacket.

"My friend, she is a christian," she told him "And she said to warn you. Be careful,"

The boy swiped his jacket from the girl's grasp and went to cross the street. A car was coming full speed at him but he didn't see it coming. So before the car could hit him, the girl pushed the guy out of the way and got herself hit by the car instead. She reached out a hand to him and he took it, but while remembering the rumors, he slapped it back on the ground and walked away, leaving her on the concrete.

On the day before the start of Christmas Vacation, she walked around on her new crutches, expecting for him to at least to thank her but he never did. Even when she said 'hi' to him one day, he just simply ignored her. Before she went home with her brother, on her locker was a note.

Life would be better if you didn't exist

When the new year came and everyone came back to school, the girl never came back. People made new rumors about how she just made that rumor up to get back at her boyfriend and that even if she was pregnant, the baby couldn't have been his. But even through all these rumors, they could not get to the teachers. They kept warning him on how it's essential to take responsibility for your own actions.

The boy ignored his teachers and managed to get into a good college of his choice. Even though things seemed to be going well, he kept thinking about the girl. He thought about her smile, the way she laughed, the way she talked. These memories of her kept him from going to sleep or eating, but he still didn't regret what he said to her.

Graduation came, summer passed, and it was soon the first day of college. A month after the first day, he received a letter from the girl's brother.

You got your wish. Now are you happy?

The boy feared it was a suicide letter, as if the girl had killed herself so he burned the letter. Throughout his freshman year, he kept receiving letters from someone in the UK. They were letters that taught about a forgiving heart, and how to make good friends, and other good life lessons. He burned these letters one by one . When it came to his sophomore year, the boy traveled abroad to the UK with his friends.

He enjoyed visiting there and by the winter, he was considering staying for another semester. When he was at a restaurant with his friends, he was looking outside a window, and actually saw the girl walking out of a church with a basket. Memories of their past relationship came rushing back, and he went out to go see the girl. She went to wait at a bus stop in front of the restaurant. He stood next to the girl and asked how much is a pound in american dollars.

"About $1.60," she replied. She was acting as if she didn't know him.

He went to look at what was in her basket, but she started to cross the street. She didn't see the car coming straight after her, and the boy felt a strong urge to save her. So before the car could hit her, he pushed her out of the way and got hit by the car himself. Unlike the boy, the girl reached out a hand to help the boy and she prayed for him, waiting for the paramedics.

While they were in the ambulance, he watched her hold her basket with tender love. Like, her whole life was in that basket.

When they reached the hospital, the boy had fallen into a coma. Months passed and by summer, the boy finally recovered. His parents came to see him and to their dismay, the doctor reported that the boy only had a day to live.

The girl came to see him on his last day and the boy watched her, sitting there with the same basket.

"You're still the same," he whispered "But you cut your hair. Why?"

She passed a hand through her hair and shrugged, smiling with that smile that the boy loved.

"Would you mind telling me, what's in that basket?" he asked

She put the basket on his chair, and pulled out a sleeping baby girl. The boy automatically saw the resemblance.

"Is that-"

"Your girl?Yes,"

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

The girl looked at him in frustration and then relaxed her composure. "You shut me out of your life, remember?"

"But why did you have to start that rumor?" he asked this with a furious tone

"I did not start a rumor. My friends noticed my morning sickness and my sensitivity to some scents," she explained "I told one of my teachers and they recommended home schooling. That's why I left. The rumor probably got started because someone probably overheard them,"

The boy scoffed "That's what you get for having horrible friends,"

The girl pitied the boy. He has too much hatred in his heart. He's blind

"Can I hold her?" he asked, reaching out for his daughter

When he held the baby, a tear rolled down his eyes. All of this would have changed, if I could just have heard her out. If I went to see her at the hospital when she saved my life. And the letter...they were from her. She was trying to help me

A few seconds marked the boys life, and his pulse started to slow down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered "And I have always loved you,"

The girl took her baby."Say bye to daddy,"

He smiled when he heard her say that.

"I have always loved you too and I forgive you,"

The boy died and back home, he was known as "The boy who held no forgiveness,"

But to the girl, he was always close to her heart.

Spoiler! :
Yeah, I've been having a tough time with the ending but I've tried
True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know your are great, you have no need to hate.
-Nicki Minaj
  





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Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:26 pm
IcyFlame says...



Although you have a good story here, I'm not too sure about the ending. I don't think that death was a suitable punishment for the boy, and I don't think the scene where he notices the baby should have been quite like that. Of course, this is your stroy and you can do with it as you wish. I do like the way you didn't put in any names, but it meant that you sometimes forgot to capitalise your I's.
Keep writing :)
  





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Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:42 pm
Betheny says...



I really enjoyed reading this and I have a soft spot for happy/sad endings. Personally I think that this feels as if it's a little under written, as if you've put down the idea of a story insted of an actual story, it's like: 'there's this couple then this happens, then something else happens...' and so on with out much to link it all together. In my opinion anyway. I love the idea behind it though and the way it captures aspects of high school life which aren't usually brought to light, they're there but are ignored or pushed to the back of the mind because it's an undersirable subject, I think that it's good to see this type of thing outside of a T.V. program (they tend to over do it). Thank you for writing this and I think that you have great potential as a writter. The way you didn't use names I feel is a underused technique, I'd like you to keep developing this skill. You never know, it might make you famous. :)
"The world existed to be read. And I read it." - L.S Schwartz, Ruined by Reading
  








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