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-The annoying figment of your imagination: jaetwee.
I sat on the cold stone window ledge, watching the bright city lights below through the glass. You stood behind me; I could see your reflection in the glass. Your magnificent face held a sad smile, the very one from the day you said goodbye. I turned to find nothing there. I know you still linger, I can still feel your presence in the walls even though you are no longer here.
At the thought of you, my heart starts to ache; an ache that has been familiar since you left. Sometimes, the loneliness is just too much to bear; there are just some things that time cannot erase. No matter how hard I try, these wounds just won't heal.
You said that one day I would understand, but you left me with no pieces for this puzzle. What we had was beautiful, why did you have to take it all away? For all of those years, you stood by me, then, one day you left. Was it me? Was it someone else? What made you leave?
I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I miss your own soft brown eyes, the way they sparkle in the light, the way they used to light up when I met your gaze. Memories from times of happiness absorb my thoughts; the time you took me to see the tropical beaches of the South Pacific, when we went snorkelling in the reefs, watching schools of brightly coloured fish with delight. It was exhilarating to be able to swim among all of those creatures of the sea.
I wipe away the tears and stand on unsteady legs. I take a deep breath and head towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. The cool liquid is refreshing - it helped me focus my mind.
Feeling re-energised, I decided to go for a walk. Heading towards the door, I traced my fingers along the walls, feeling the slight depressions and bumps that it donned. I also felt a slight tingle among the sensations. I quickly snapped my hands away, knowing that it was you that I could feel.
As I walked along the concrete path, I reminisced about our times together. I've got to stop living in the past; it's just not good for me. I have to get over you - you are gone, never to come back.
I stopped by an old, grey eucalyptus tree. I sat down against its smooth bark. A young couple walked past, laughing together and holding hands. I remember when we were like that; though I'm not as young as them, I am still in my late twenties.
A slight breeze plays with strands of my hair, lightly tugging them towards the town centre. With of nothing better to do, I get up and head towards the town, giving in to the desires of the gentle wind.
As I head towards the town, a slight chill runs down my spine. I shivered and kept walking, each step making a light tap on the concrete. I looked up to see a grey cloud forming above; I hope it doesn't rain because I don't have an umbrella.
I saw the line of walls and shopfronts ahead. The smell of freshly baked bread tinged the air. I inhaled deeply at the comforting scent - I guess the bakery had just finished a new batch of bread. I hurried towards the bakery, hoping to get a hot cinnamon roll before they went cold.
When I arrived at the plain brick shopfront, I saw the line starting to build. I walk past the white sign that was covered with red lettering saying: 'Sugar & Doue (pronounced doe) Local Bakery'. I entered through the glass door and heard the small bell tinkle. I join the queue and wait for my turn.
I look up when the man standing behind the counter asked "How may I help you?"
"One hot cinnamon bun please," I replied. I pulled my wallet out of my pocked and grabbed a five dollar note from its confines. I placed it on the counter and waited for the man to return. He soon did, with a brown paper bag in his hand. He passed me the bag, took my money from the counter and placed it in the register. He then collected the correct change and gave it to me. I put it in my wallet and returned my wallet to my jeans pocket.
As I walked through the crowds towards the door, a man with short, sandy brown hair bumped into me. "Sorry about that, I'm such a klutz!" he exclaimed. The colour of his eyes entranced me. They seemed to draw me in with their glow. I couldn't decide if they were blue, green, or hazel. I just had to know more.
"No problem," I replied, "By the way, I'm Jane."
"The names Rodney," He smiled. I returned his smile. I noticed he was also holding one of the paper bags from the bakery. "You want to go out and eat our lunch somewhere together?" It was a friendly gesture, so I happily accepted.
Rodney led me to a park bench in the centre of town. We both sat down and started opening up our bags. He took out a croissant and I took out my cinnamon roll. I took a bite and savoured the sweet flavours on my tongue. He initiated conversation. "So Jane, where do you work?"
"I work at ElectricLine, running public affairs."
"That sounds so prestigious."
"It's not all it's cracked up to be you know. So what do you do for a living?"
"I work as a secretary in the council - It's boring as hell."
"Hell can't really be that boring, with the eternal punishments and all," I replied. A laugh escaped his lips.
Rodney and I continued to meet over the next few months, building a steady friendship. I found myself laughing more often and thinking about you less. I was happy that I was finding someone else; your presence seemed to finally be fading away even though I sometimes catch myself shedding a tear at the memories.
I leaned back and admired the bright sunset framing the deep blue waves. A cool breeze swept my hair back. I leant into Rodney's arms, enjoying the warmth that they provided. I ran my fingers through the golden sand. This is our six month anniversary for the day we officially became a couple.
Rodney pulled me in for a kiss. I returned his passion, enjoying the touch. He pulled away and looked deeply into my eyes. I met his gaze and watched a small smile appear on his soft lips. He turned around and reached into his backpack. He pulled out a small black box with a crimson ribbon delicately wrapped around. He handed me the box. "Happy anniversary Jane," he smiled. I removed the ribbon and pulled off the lid. I admired the gift. It was a beautiful gold bracelet with diamond shaped links and a glittering charm that held a heart shaped piece of stunning amber. I pulled him in for a quick kiss and a warm hug. My turn now. I pulled a navy blue package from my own bag and handed it to Rodney. He unwrapped his present and smiled at the gift - a shiny black waterproof watch to replace the one that broke a few weeks ago.
After spending another hour watching the waves, we got up and packed our stuff away. We linked hands and started walking along the sand towards the car. After turning the corner, I stopped in my tracks. There you were, standing right before me. I knew that it was really you; I could feel it in the air. My knees felt weak and the air was ice-cold. After being gone for so long, how could you come here now? How could you? You took a step forward, your shoulder length black hair framing your white face, clear of imperfections. I stepped closer to Rodney, almost all coherent thoughts gone.
"Why?" I finally managed to whisper. I gripped Rodney's hand tighter. You noticed our touch and frow.
"An old friend I take it," Rodney said, disdain tainting his voice.
"Could we please have a moment?" I asked. He nodded and headed off to the car. I looked up into your eyes, unsure of what you would say. You took another step forward and brushed a loose strand of my hair behind my face.
"Always so beautiful," you whispered, desperation starting to etch into your voice. "I can explain everything. Please give me the chance." I glanced down and took a deep breath. All alone for all these years, how could you of done that to me? A feeble yes was all I could voice.
You started with how you didn't want to leave me and that you had no choice, it couldn't be. Then you came to your reason. "You see, a thousand years ago, I stumbled across a fountain surrounded by a small clearing in the middle of the forest. An old man was sitting on the edge of the fountain. He looked up at me and said 'Drink from this fountain and discover an eternal life. Do not fear death as it would never claim you. Join the immortals and enjoy the benefits of godly powers.' He raised his upturned palm. A ball of light floated above his fingertips. I was hooked. I took a sip from the waters and was bathed in an intense light. I felt myself fading. The next thing I knew, I was lying on something that felt as soft as a cloud. I opened my eyes and discovered that I really was lying on a cloud..." You explained how you met all the other Immortals and learnt their ways. You then told me about how you spent a year living on the Earthly Plane as Earth was called by the Immortals. Then, you said that you met me and fell in love. You recounted our time together, your voice thick with emotion. I just stood there, absorbing all the information.
You took a deep breath and continued. "One day, I told the Immortals about my love for you. Their response was quite disturbing. They told me that the rule is that we are never to be with mortals, it is absolutely forbidden. It broke my heart to leave you. I have spent most of these years hidden away, trying to block out the pain. I watched you, though. I don't know if you could tell, but I was watching you. Then, the other day, it came to me. I would take you to the fountain and give you the gift of eternal life. We could be together forever." You look at me with expectation. "Please, come with me. Take my offer and become Immortal." I shook my head.
Emotion fuelled my words. "Seven years! You have been gone for seven long years! How could you just leave me like that, no explanation in the beggining?" Tears streamed out of my eyes. I blinked them away. "I loved you, but time has passed and my life has moved forward. I no longer love you, I have found love elsewhere. You are no longer welcome in my life. You had your chance, but it's gone. I think you should just go!" I was nothing but a sobbing wreck now. I turned and stormed off. After a few paces, I looked over my shoulder. You were gone, no sign of your presence at all. I closed my eyes. The wind swept back the same strand of hair that you had. It felt like a final pain-filled goodbye. You were once Mark, the love of my life. Now you are nothing but a brief memory, to be replaced by the life I make for myself.
I turned and started walking towards the car. It felt like a giant burden had just been let off my shoulders. The end of one story, the start of another.
Ah-hem.
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