Spoiler! :
He listened with his ear pressed against the door. Not a single sound had emerged from the apartment for over an hour, but his heart had not yet stopped its racing. The clock hanging on the pale yellow hallway wall ticked away- his only indication that time was moving forward at all.
An exhausted sigh escaped from his lips. Perhaps it was time he gave it another try. He picked himself up off the floor. His blanket- the only company he had in the cold hallway- fell silently around his feet.
He forced his hand to knock on the century-old wooden door. A hallow echo filled the dimly lit hallway.
“Alice,” He said, so quiet as to not wake the neighbours, who were fast asleep in their respective apartments by this unholy hour. “Alice, I know you’re still awake. I know that you can hear me.”
He watched the clock. Minutes passed, but there was no… wait! Was that a noise he could hear? A shuffling of feet, maybe? His chest swelled as the prospect of her finally opening the door became real. He waited for more noise, standing a good two feet away from the door. His hands shook in anticipation.
Suddenly, a click came from behind the door- a lock, he presumed- and the door swung wide open.
Alice stood in her small apartment entry way, with her arms crossed and her face red with tears streaming down her freckled cheeks.
The last time Scott had seen her beautiful face was when she’d told him that they were over. That she wanted nothing to do with a cheater and a druggie. It had taken him weeks before he could work up the courage to sober up and face reality.
Now they were face to face. He just wanted to hold her in his arms again, and tell her that he loved her.
But Alice didn’t look as though she felt the same way.
“Go home, Scott.” She whispered with a sense of finality to her voice.
He reached out for her, but she dodged his hands and stepped further into the apartment.
“Alice,” Scott murmured desperately. “I’m sorry, ok? You don’t know how sorry I am. I love you, I-”
“Go home!” She cut him off, anger filling her hazel eyes. Fresh tears brimmed her eye lids.
Scott's heart wrenched; he hated to see Alice cry, especially on his account. Maybe if he could just get her to listen to him, she would understand. Maybe, just maybe, she could forgive him.
“I am not leaving until you hear me out.” He said as calmly as he could manage.
She looked down, avoiding Scott’s eyes. After a few long moments, she nodded. “Fine. You can come in, for five minutes.” She looked at him sternly when he smiled. “If I tell you to leave, then you need to leave.”
He nodded eagerly, picking up the wool blanket from the floor and following Alice into the apartment.
It wasn’t a big apartment, but for Alice, it was a temporary home. She was attending college just a few blocks away. Scott hadn’t been inside of it for almost nearly a month now. Just the smell alone overwhelmed him with memories that stung him with their perfectness. He sat on the living room sofa, and stared over at Alice, who stood in the far corner with her arms still crossed; she was waiting for him to begin.
“The truth is, Alice,” Scott leaned forward on the sofa, his elbows propped up on his legs. “Is that I am only human, and I know that I have made some horrible mistakes. I am so sorry, for hurting you.”
She blinked, but didn’t respond in any other way.
Scott shook his head. “Talk to me, Alice,” He pleaded.
Suddenly, Alice sprung to life. “Talk to you?” She nearly shouted. “Talk to you? All I’ve been trying to do, for the past two weeks is talk to you, Scott, but you’ve been too stoned to notice! Too stoned to care!”
It’s like she hasn’t been listening to a word I’ve said all night, Scott thought in disbelief.
He rose to his feet. “That’s not fair, Alice. I told you it was all a big mistake, and-”
“I don’t give a damn if it was a mistake!” She said, growing louder and louder. “You turned to drugs, when we had problems, Scott. And then,” She laughed in a slightly hysterical manner, “you cheated on me. Calling that a mistake is the understatement of the century.”
“Please, stop raising your voice, Alice. You have neighbours, remember?”
“Don’t change the subject, you coward!” She took a few steps forward, her hands balled up into fists and her shoulders tensed. “I don’t want you to tell me you made a mistake- that much is obvious. What I want to know is why you did it! Why you turned to drugs, and why you slept with her! I want to know why I wasn’t good enough for you when you were struggling!” Her words were starting to mesh together with her sobs.
Scott watched as she cried in silence, stunned. “I didn’t sleep with Taylor.”
Alice made a noise of disgust. “Ok, so you didn’t sleep with her, but you kissed her, didn’t you? To me, it’s just the fact that you could be with another girl. It kills me that after a fight you could change from such a wonderful person into Mr. Hyde!”
Scott stood from the sofa, and made his way around the coffee table to where she was standing. “I love you.” He whispered, too weak from exhaustion to speak out clearly.
“I am sick of your excuses, Scott! I try to be forgiving, but we always end up in this same spot, and I am not backing down this time, Scott!”
“I love you.” He whispered again, wishing she would listen to him.
“Drugs, Scott? Ecstasy? Cheating? That is not the Scott I fell in love with!”
She was on a rant now. Scott knew that there was only one way to make her see that he meant what he said.
“All I wanted to do was help you, but you pushed me away. So I'm done, Scott. I just want you to leave and never-”
He took her face in his hands, and before she could object, he kissed her. He kissed her with passion, and meaning, and hope. He needed her to feel his pain, and wanted her to feel how sorry he was.
Scott felt her pull away, and he opened his eyes, wishing desperately that she would just forgive him already. A chill ran down his spine when the thought that maybe she wasn't going to forgive at all crossed his mind. Scott searched Alice's eyes for a moment. He saw what looked like a spark of resignation, but then she frowned.
"Why did you do that?" She demanded.
Scott smiled as he spoke the words that seemed so perfectly cliche, "Because, Alice; I love you."
He watched her expression shift, and silently prayed that somehow his words would finally get through to her.
"I can't do this anymore, Scott. I want you to leave."
Scott's heart crumbled. There was nothing left he could do now.
He started for the door, his entire body numb from the pain. He turned his head to look at Alice. "If you ever change your mind, I promise I'll be there."
She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a muffled jumble of words that Scott couldn't decipher.
Without another word, Scott left the apartment, and made his way out of the building. He buried his hands deep into his coat pockets, and kept his head down-he didn't see anybody around, but the very thought of someone seeing him cry didn't sit well with him.
His own apartment was halfway across town. He could walk there under normal circumstances- he'd done it before- but tonight neither his body nor heart could make it much further. He fished his cell phone out of his back pocket and called a cab hotline. Then, he sat on the curb and waited.
Scott thought about Alice. He thought about how much he'd screwed everything up. He thought about how he'd kissed Taylor, which led to thoughts about the drugs.
Never again, he thought with gritted teeth. Drugs and cheating aren't the answer.
Scott saw the headlights of a vehicle come into view. He stood, and waited as the cab came to a crawl. He reached out for the door handle, and took a deep breathe. No more Alice, he thought with a heavy heart. You ruined your relationship, now deal with it.
He placed one foot in the cab, but stopped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder.
He whipped his head around, and found himself staring into Alice's eyes. She was still crying, but this time she didn't look so angry.
"Don't leave." She whispered. "Don't leave me, Scott."
He stared at her for a moment, and stepped out of the cab. "But I thought you-"
Scott never finished his sentence, because Alice just fell forward, and buried her face in his coat. After the shock wore off, Scott wrapped his arms around Alice and held on tight. He heard the taxi cab drive away, but he didn't even glance in it's direction.
Relief flooded through Scott. A sense of overwhelming comfort ran down his body and to his toes. He thought about this past month. He'd put his life in danger for a high, and turned his back on Alice in the process. He'd been reckless and stupid,and deserved to be alone in his regret and misery. Yet, somehow he'd been forgiven.
He lifted his eyes to the sky, and thanked God for Alice's forgiving heart. Then, he held Alice in his arms until the sun peeked over the horizon, and a new day welcomed Scott with a new kind of ecstasy. The kind that- unlike the love he felt when he was with Alice- couldn't be found in any sort of drug.
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