Chapter 2
Yeah, laugh it up life. Give me an amazing morning, lull me into a false sense of security, and then pull this on me. Well life can just suck it. I cannot believe this is happening. Shoshanna is right there. Sitting no more than twenty feet away from me, and just staring at me!
I tore my eyes away from hers; it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I could have been content just staring into her eyes all da-NO! I was over that herand I had moved on. Y-yeah that was it! I had moved on and obviously she had felt nothing for me since she just kissed and left so there was nothing between us anymore. It was just the shock of seeing her, that was it. Nothing more nothing less.
"Well?" I jumped and stared. The lunch lady stared right back at me and held up a plate, her eyebrows raised. Oops, had I really been that zoned out?
"Uh, what?"
"I said, what do you want?" she asked in a haughty tone.
"Ah, um…" I took a quick glance over the choice of foods, "Pizza, I guess." She slapped a slice on my plate and shoved it at me. Sheesh, the pizza looked nasty. It even looked a little green in some areas, and it was a pale sickly green, not a beautiful green like parsley or emerald green like Shoshanna's eyes…
"CRAP!" I shouted. Immediately I received a smack with a wooden spoon from one of the lunch ladies and a few glares from my classmates around me. Well screw them, I can speak however I want! Especially when I just had one of the grossest thoughts in the world! Emerald green like Shoshanna's eyes my butt. I am over her!
I made sure to scowl at every single person who dared to even glance at me. My day had went from fantastic to awful in the span of only a couple of seconds. And it could NOT get worse.
"Ali! Over here!" Well apparently it could. There was my idiotic sister, sitting right across Shoshanna. Leaving the only available seat open next to HER.
Heck no! I was not sitting next to Shoshanna! What was Amy thinking? My body stiffened as Amy, who apparently was stupid enough to think I hadn't seen her waving like a crazy maniac, began jumping up and down trying to somehow pull me over to them by the force of jumping and yelling.
Shoshanna…oh God. She looked at me and I could already feel myself beginning to blush, NOT RED LIKE A TOMATO DAMMIT! But my face was probably already looking an unhealthy shade of red. Crap, crap, s***! W-w-what…
Oh screw it all!
I threw my pizza into the nearest garbage can and began to run away like the stupid coward I was.
Chapter 3
So I skipped school. Not a big deal. My grandfather used to talk to me and my sister how he would skip school when he was a kid to go hang out with some 'friends'. So he has no moral high ground over me, and I didn't care about what the school had to say. And there was no way I was staying in the same space as Shoshanna…
My hands began shaking as I slumped underneath the shade of a tree. Even just her name had an effect on me. It had been two years. TWO YEARS DAMMIT! I should be over her by now. Only idiots and hopeless romantics held onto a love that long!
So why was I sitting here right now, thinking about Shoshanna instead of sitting there at the lunch table showing her how exactly over her I was. I mean, I did try dammit! I dated plenty of guys and the occasional girl. But every time I went out with someone, I just found something wrong with them. Even more so with girls; who I, well I might as well be honest with myself, found the most faults with. It wasn't like I honestly cared who I dated. Shoshanna had been Shoshanna. She was the only person I ever truly lov-lo-l…liked.
BUT SHE LEFT ME FOR TWO YEARS AND NEVER EVEN PROBABLY THOUGHT BACK ON ME SO WHY WASN'T I OVER HER YET DAMMIT? Why, why, why, why? I began to slam my head into my knees.
"Um…" a sudden voice above me made me look up, and then I froze. Why? Why does God dislike me so much? Shoshanna was standing right in front of me, watching me with apparent concern. How long had she been there?
"W-what do you want?" Play it cool, I told myself, maybe she doesn't remember me. Maybe she was just taking a stroll…far away from school while it was still in session...near the park…and into the woods a little bit too near where I was hiding.
DAMN IT DID SHE FOLLOW ME?
"Ah, remember me Ali?" She just started smiling down at me. Remember her? She had to be joking.
"We used to be friends, right?" I said. Okay, I couldn't say that I had forgotten her. We had been friends for years before the incident and just pretending to forget all about her would have seemed suspicious. I was quickly mauling over these reasons when she sat down RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I could feel her skin brush against mine and I stiffened. She smelled nice, like tomatoes and a spicy smell I couldn't put my finger on. I leaned in a little bit, trying to figure out what the spicy smell was…and suddenly we were much too close. Shoshanna's emerald eyes were looking straight into my own and I could already feel that breathing was going to become a challenge in the next couple of seconds. Why didn't she move dammit? I mean I was here first so why didn't she move away!
I suddenly felt her breath on my face and I swear my mind just went blank. I couldn't think straight any longer. I couldn't figure out what two plus two was. Everything except the person sitting in front of me was gone from my mind.
And then she was kissing me again. My heart began to race as I leaned into the kiss, my eyelids sliding shut. Shoshanna gently put her hands on my face and pulled me closer, so close that there wasn't even air between us anymore. I felt like all my senses were both numb and on fire. Everything just felt like a state of bliss. Her lips just felt so sweet and warm. I could have sat there for hours just kissing Shoshanna and forgetting the entire world. It felt even better then the last time we had kissed…
The last time…
I refused to eat dinner that night, which is why Amy was probably at my door right now, crying and asking me what was wrong. I swear, she cries at every little thing. If she burns food she cries, if I shout at her she cries! And Amy is annoying when she's crying! So when I opened the door it wasn't to comfort her it was to tell her to shut her trap!
"I'm fine Amy; I just had a bad day." Okay, so I care about my little sister! Big deal!
Amy tackled me in a hug and I awkwardly patted her head. "Ali, you didn't eat anything for lunch and you skipped school!" I let out a soft sigh and carefully pried Amy off me. I really didn't need this now.
"No, I'm fine Amy, um, I am hungry so will you please go get me some sushi?" Amy beamed at my words and ran downstairs. If someone just asks her for food she automatically assumes everything is alright again. God, she can be so dense....
I groaned and hit my head against the doorframe. Thinking about Amy was the least of my worries right now. I had another problem by the name of Shoshanna and that one had to be dealt with right away. No matter how much I tried not to think about it, both kisses kept creeping into my mind and would just not leave me alone!
What had I done to deserve this? Sure I wasn't the most outgoing person like my sister, but I did my schoolwork and got decent grades! I did my chores, and I was a perfect woman to the male population! What had I done to deserve a girl like Shoshanna Lupucelle on my tail?
The doorbell suddenly rang and my sister's voice called out from downstairs, "Ali, would you mind getting that?" I grumbled in reply and stomped downstairs. I opened the door.
And immediately shut it again.
What? How did she find out where I lived? Oh wait, we hadn't moved since she had last been here and she did used to come over a lot…but still isn't what she's doing constitute as stalking?
"Ali, who's at the door?" Crap! Amy!
"Nobody!" I squeaked. Gah, my face began to slowly go red. No, no, no, NO!
"Amy? Why did you shut the door?" Shoshanna's voice drifted from outside and Amy's face brightened. "Shoshanna!" she squealed, and threw open the door to reveal a beaming Shoshanna. "Amy!" She said, and hugged my sister. I felt a small sting around the area of my heart. Turning away I frowned and gently rubbed the area, man, what was wrong with me?
I turned back in time to see Amy kissing Shoshanna on both cheeks and Shoshanna laughing as she held Amy closer.
Ow.
Ouch, dammit! What the heck?! I turned away again and raced up to my room, clutching the chest area over my heart. It hurt! It felt like someone had taken a knife to my heart and was slowly carving around it! What was going on? I wasn't sick was I?! I mean it couldn't be I was upset over seeing Shoshanna and Amy so close even after all this time….
But Shoshanna had told my sister that she was going away. And Shoshanna had always talked about how adorable Amy was....
The pain in my heart grew until I was curled up against my closed door, tears beginning to gather around my eyes. I had never thought Shoshanna could or would hurt me this much. I was just kidding myself, almost hoping I was sick and something was wrong with my heart. I knew what my problem was, and I knew why I had kissed her back today.
I was still in love with Shoshanna.
Even after two years of no contact I still loved her and I had for a long time. But I hated her at the same time. Every time I let myself get close to her she hurts me. I was willing to receive physical pain because over time that healed, and it didn't hurt nearly as much as the pain I was receiving now did.
I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I don't want Shoshanna to know what she can do to me.
I lifted my head up as I took a couple of breaths in and I shakily stood up. I had my answer now. I would not let Shoshanna get that close to me again. Today had been a mistake, one I would not make again. I refuse to let her back into my heart again like that.
So by the time lunch rolled around the next day I was already seriously considering just skipping school again. Hey, none of the teachers probably like me anyways, so me not being there would be a blessing to them.
And I also realized that I had lunch with Shoshanna, and since I just made my new resolve yesterday I decided I could just go up and sit wherever I wanted to and ignore her.
So I ended up behind the art hallway stairwell, just munching on a snack bar I had luckily forgotten was in my locker.
That freaking moron making me eat in the freaking stairwell. It was just a lot nicer over here, quieter than in that noisy lunchroom!
I waited there until the bell rang, alerting me to my next class. I worked my way through the maze of hallways (who built this insane school?!) up to the third floor and into my next class, Spanish. At least Spanish was a relatively easy class, I had a bit of a way with languages. I could now fluently speak Italian, Spanish, and English. And considering how ethnically cultured my school was, I knew at least thirty different ways to cuss in foreign languages.
My bored wandering thoughts kept me from seeing the awful thing that was right in front of me. I froze as I suddenly zoned back to earth, staring at Shoshanna who in turn was grinning back at me.
She was in this class! Why? The idiot, why did she have to take this class? I could already feel my face heating up, WITH ANGER DAMMIT! Which is why I didn't notice until the teacher was telling everyone to take their seats where exactly Shoshanna was sitting.
She was sitting right next to me.
Gender:
Points: 891
Reviews: 24