Young Writers Society

This is the second chapter of my story. Please tell me ifits bad


"Ma I'm sorry I'm late, I'll go put the horses in the stable right now"
"oh never mind that, I need you to start on dinner, I will go tend to the horses. And don't think I will forget about how late you were!"
"yes mama"

Taylor did as she was told, so she started on the fire, it didn't take right away so she had to keep lighting it, but eventually it burst into flames. By that time mama was in and ready to eat the meal that was now cold.
Once she was done she studied a little bit, then retired to her room and instantly fell asleep.


Taylor woke up before mama, so she decided she ought to get breakfast going. Once she was done mama was awake and already fed baby Clair, so Taylor made her way off to school.

"Taylor look at the new dress Ma made me" said Elizabeth
"oh my that's absolutely beautiful! Has she started on the on for the winter ball yet"
"no she said this dress is enough for now, so I have to make my own"
"well I'm great at making dresses, would you like me to help"
"Oh Taylor that would be so nice! I'm so terrible at it"

"Um hi Luke" said taylor
"hey! So will you be able to go with me? I hope you can"
"well.. Okay I will"

Hi again, WinterBloom!

I love that now you're writing quotation marks, I can understand better now! 8D That is very, very good.

One thing that will make this look even more professional will be... *drum roll* Remember that every sentence should start with uppercase and end with a period.

Another suggestion is make more descriptions. When you tell us: "Oh, never mind that. I need you to start on dinner, I will go tend to the horses. And don't think I will forget about how late you were!" What was she doing while she said it? Was she standing still, just looking at Taylor? Was she putting her boots on? Was she fixing something in the kitchen? Or, doing dishes? Those types of descriptions entertain the reader and it'd make your story look more real. Also, what was she eating? Not that you should say it... but I'd like to know. xD Bahahahah...

However, I love how you've improved your writing in this short amount of time. I'm sure you can still do better.

~Solly<3