Well, don't yell at me for getting bored. I wrote this out of complete boredom and decided to make fun of Wicked. After all, nobody has really done it before. BTW, I'm skipping the beginning and going straight to Shiz University. Yes, I know I'm missing a few characters. I'm going to put them in the next scene, if I decide to go along with this. I also know it kinda sucks, but its been a while since I saw Wicked. I also know its super long, but hey, I tried. Also, I don't hate Wicked. I actually think its a wonderful musical and book. I just wanted to have some fun.
CHARACTERS:
ELPHABA: Our main and only green girl
GLINDA: Our main, dumbish not green girl. She's a little gay.
NESSAROSE: I don't really care about her that much, but she is in a wheelchair.
FIYERO: Thinks he's super hot
MADAME MORRIBLE: Really weird teacher
GIRL #1
GIRL #2
PANDACARY: Me, of course!
Act 1 scene 1
Scene opens with ELPHABA pushing NESSAROSE in.
NESSAROSE: Oh my god, Elphie! Can you move any slower!?
ELPHABA: Shut up, cripple!
NESSAROSE: Pandacary! She's calling me a cripple!
PANDACARY walks on stage.
PANDACARY: Nessa, she has the total right to. You ARE a cripple, after all. Now shut up and continue on with the story!
She walks off.
ELPHABA: Thank you!
She looks around
Hey look! We're here!
ELPHABA stops moving and looks around. Just then, MADAME MORRIBLE enters.
MORRIBLE: Ah, you must be Nessarose! Your father told me so much about you!
Looks at ELPHABA
And you are.....?
ELPHABA: I'm Elphaba. I'm her-
MORRIBLE: Assitant?
ELPHABA: (looks really pissed) Sister... I'm her SISTER.
MORRIBLE: You two don't look like sisters.
ELPHABA: Well she's the tragically beautiful crip- I mean sister, and I'm the beautifully tragic one, as you can see.
MORRIBLE:(A little uncomfortable) Ah! I see! Well, I'm going to meet the other students now..
Runs off stage.
ELPHABA: I have a feeling I'm really gonna hate her someday.
GLINDA enters with her group, talking.
GLINDA: (talking to one of her friends) I can't believe she actually.....
The whole crowd, including GLINDA, stares at ELPHABA awkwardly. ELPHABA slowly turns her head toward them.
ELPHABA: What?
GLINDA: What are you exactly?
ELPHABA: A girl? What are you? A lesbian?
GLINDA: I'm not gay!
GIRL #1: Then why did you make out with the taxi driver before you got out of the car?
GLINDA: Shhh!!
GIRL #2: And you made out with my MOTHER last week!
GLINDA: Shh!!!!!
GLINDA slaps both girls.
GIRL #1 & GIRL #2: Oww!
GLINDA: Those were both friendly kisses. Besides, at least I'm not some green weirdo!
ELPHABA: Do you want to fight!? Cause I can surely talk on a dumb blonde like you!
GLINDA: Oh really?
ELPHABA: Yeah!
ELPHABA slaps her. hard. GLINDA gasps and jumps onto her back, pulling her hair violently. She pulls out a lock of hair. ELPHABA pulls a dagger out of her pocket.
PANDACARY: (walking on) Wait, WHAT? How did you-?
ELPHABA stabs PANDACARY repeatedly. She thens goes for GLINDA.FIYERO enters, stopping her.
FIYERO: Did someone say my name?
ELPHABA: No. Actually, I don't even know who the hell you are. Now can you leave? I'm busy.
FIYERO: Name's Fiyero. Yours?
ELPHABA: Elphaba. But truly, your shallow like all the rest, so I don't even care for you. Now please leave!
FIYERO: Wow, it only took you two seconds to find that out?
ELPHABA: You don't have to be a genius to know that.
GLINDA: Leave my Fiyero alone! (runs over to him) You ok Pooky?
FIYERO: Absolutely, baby.
They make out.
ELPHABA: Get a room.
GLINDA: Get a life.
FIYERO: Now, Elphaba, I know my hotness can't go around, but there is no need to get jealous.
ELPHABA: Why would I be jealous of you? I would rather be jealous if she was making out with a horse. Oops! Looks like you already are!
GLINDA: You take that back!
ELPHABA: Make me!
MADAME MORRIBLE enters.
MORRIBLE: Ok, settle down! Now, I'm here to tell you what rooms you'll get.
ELPHABA: Get your things, Nessa. I'll help you unpack when we get to our room.
MORRIBLE: Not so fast Miss Elphie! Your sharing a room with Miss Glinda.
GLINDA AND ELPHABA: WHAT!?!?
GLINDA: Madame Morrible, you honestly can't expect me to share a room with that!
she points to ELPHABA.
ELPHABA: Excuse me! I actually have a legitament reason why. I have to take care of my sister.
PANDACARY: (From offstage) LIAR!
ELPHABA: Shut up! No one likes you anyway!
She throws her suitcase offstage in PANDACARY's direction.
PANDACARY: Oww! (weakly) I'm ok!
GLINDA: Hey! We actually need her, not you!
ELPHABA: Who is this story about here, you or me?
They start to argue.
MORRIBLE: Girls! (she smacks them both in the head) Now you will both be placed in the same room together, whether you like it or not! Come on, Nessa, I'll help you to your room.
MORRIBLE walks offstage, followed by everybody else except ELPHABA and GLINDA.
ELPHABA: I loathe you.
GLINDA: I loathe you more.
ELPHABA: Want to burst into random song about it?
GLINDA: (looks at her watch) Well, I guess we have enough time. What's your name, by the way?
ELPHABA: Elphaba. Why do you care?
GLINDA: I prefer to know the names of my enemies. I'm Glinda.
ELPHABA: So we can burst into song now?
GLINDA: Eh, sure.
END OF SCENE
Definitely very random!
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Points: 1212
Reviews: 5