Young Writers Society

Due to a drop in actors, I had to rewrite. 3 Characters have been taken from the film.

SCAVENGERS (Scene Two)

(We fade in to a first-person shot of a ceiling. Cody steps in view of the camera, then looks down)

CODY:
Hi.

(We cut to Adrian, lying on the garage floor. He sits up and rubs the back of his head, exhaling sharply)

CODY:
You took a hell of a beating.

ADRIAN:
I'll say. Am I okay?

CODY:
Dr. Gilmore said so. It didn't even need stitches. It's going to hurt like hell for about a week, though.

ADRIAN:
When'd you find me?

CODY:
I came back and I saw what happened. After they had collected and left, I went to grab you.

ADRIAN:
It's going to take more than two men to stop them. Norman picked the right crew when he made his little gang.

CODY:
Who was the other guy with him?

ADRIAN:
Calvin.

CODY:
Shit.

ADRIAN:
He willingly left town. Give his house to somebody else, and make sure he doesn't come back.

CODY:
Why?

ADRIAN:
'Cause he knows all the ins and outs of TriOpolis, and I assure that Norman's going to use that to his advantage.

CODY:
For sure.

ADRIAN:
How much did they take?

CODY:
More than the last time. I guess they thought, 'Because we had a more difficult time with this one, we'll get more for our effort.'

ADRIAN:
You know that hollow out in the field?

CODY:
Yeah.

ADRIAN:
I want you to take the unused steel with the emergency food and water, and put it down there. The next time they come, we'll be prepared.

(We cut to Norman, sitting in his room, reading a book by candlelight. There is suddenly a knock. Norman puts the book down, and answers the door. Standing in the threshold is Calvin. He is holding a box)

CALVIN:
It's finished.

NORMAN:
That was fast.

(Norman takes the box from Calvin's hands)

CALVIN:
It's what I do best.

NORMAN:
Is it defective at all?

CALVIN:
No. It's just as you requested.

NORMAN:
Your salary will be bumped up to twice its current amount. Sound sufficient?

CALVIN:
More than sufficient, sir.

NORMAN:
Good. I'll see you later.
(Calvin walks away, and Norman shuts the door. He then walks over to his bed, and puts the box down on the table. He looks inside, and smiles, satisfyingly)

Good job on this, I really liked it. I was interested from the beginning and still was interested at the end, great job!

Where's scene three? GIVE ME SCENE THREE!(Meant in a nice way)

Whoa, super suspenseful! That's scary to introduce a gun to people who've never seen or used one before! I feel like Norman almost needs a more sinister speech (that's maybe longer?) to go with the gun though. Good ending, definitely makes me want to read more.