Young Writers Society

I have been playing with this idea for a while and I hope that the result is good.
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Two Students are standing at a bus stop. Behind them is the Old Man
Student one:Moaning You never guess what the Teacher has given me to do
Student two: What?
Student one: A lo-cal hist-or-y thing
Student two: But nothing has ever happened round here. Only farming, farming, farming
As he says this, people in different period costumes walk on. The Old Man stirs but says nothing.
Student one: I don't think I'm gonna do this homework
Student two: You're right, you shouldn't, he's not expecting anyone to do it, you know
Student one: I guess you're right
Old Man: Sorry to interupt, but I know that there has been more happening round here than farming
Student two:Whispering to Student one Be careful, he is probably a kidnapper or something
Old Man: I might be old, but I'm not deaf. I could tell you of muggings, things that could make your skin crawl and of ordinary life
Student two:Still whispering Don't listen to him , he's probably senile
Student one: Shut up, I need all the help I can get. Tell me what you know old man
Old Man: I think I shall start at something what hapened twenty years ago...
As he says this, the stage darkens and a collage of 80's music can be heard
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Well what do you guys think?

It's a good start and can see where it's going so I think you've got a strong plot idea behind it. I like the dialogue, just at times it can be a little wooden and I think you need to elaborate on the conversation between Student One and the old man before you go into the 'old tales'. This way we'll get a better idea of character.

Anyway, keep it up 'cause it's a real good start.
Ben

I like it
I think if you keep working on it, it will become something very interesting
I am hoping to see like stories that make the kid want to write it for his project but yet so hard to write down it makes him cry or go insane thinking that these things are going on in his local area. Just idea but I like were its going ^_^

Hmm.. interesting. There are a few things wrong with it, though. Here they are.

Student one: A lo-cal hist-or-y thing

is this used in a certain tone? You have to let us know.

Student one:Moaning

This isn't right, it should be...

Student One (Moaning):

put how things are said and what actions are taken into parentheses, and put the colon in front of it. Also, you don't use punctuations. All in all, there is room for improvement, but I like it. I've always liked the plots where the person tells a story of the past. Keep writing.

Thanks for the comments!! Scene one is on it's way!

haha, this is a nice prologue, sometimes people write prologue and I don't really understand what is that. Today, you give me an idea of that and it's nice

I am laughing when the story goes with the 80's music, its a very funny flashback. Thanks

I'll be lockin' this, as is it about 3-5 months old, alright, guys?