Young Writers Society

I posted the first scene as 'cheating boyfriend' and said I wasn't going to write more on it. But I changed my mind. I want to make a movie one day, and well, this might be a good start. I've got the whole thing in my head right now, so. Please tell me what you think. And the reason why this is called 'St. Alvarez' is because the main character is being sent to this 'school'.


ONE

Violet Hill
Age: 16
Appearance: Light brown ponytail, slim body, green eyes, 168 cm, short green dress, black stilettos.

Peter Branson
Age: 19
Appearance: Almost black messy hair, muscular body, 185 cm, dark jeans, white button-up shirt, red converse.

Selena Strife
Age: 16
Appearance: Blond curly hair, slim body, blue eyes, 173 cm, short purple dress, silver stilettos.


- ONE -

[Violet is holding one glass of water in her right hand and a bottle of beer in the other while she’s searching for Peter. She suddenly notice Peter’s back in the corner of the living room and some blonde hair hidden behind it. Violet walks straight to where he is and drags him away from the girl he’s kissing with. Then she sees who the girl is, Selena, her classmate. Peter looks as surprised as Selena. ]

PETER: Violet, sweetie, calm down. It’s not what it looks like. [Looking kind of stressed]

VIOLET: Really? [Raising her eyebrows] Are you absolutely sure, because I am pretty sure I saw you two all over each other just a second ago!

SELENA: Look, [Stepping in front of Peter] it’s not what it-

VIOLET: Shut up!

PETER: Violet, can’t we just talk about this? [Stepping next to Selena]

SELENA: I totally agree. [Looking a bit afraid]

VIOLET: So that’s what you think? [Looking questioningly at Selena, before she turns her head towards Peter] We all just talk about what happened and then everything will go back to normal? No, I don’t think so. [Sarcastic]

PETER: Please, [Begging] why can’t we just talk about it? We were just kissing, V.

SELENA: Yeah, [confidently] it wasn’t like we were about to do something else..

VIOLET: Oh, please. [Rolling her eyes] You make me sick. You know what? I’m out of here.

[Violet walks away, still with the glass of water and the beer in her hands.]

PETER: Violet, come back! [Looking after her longingly]

SELENA: So.. What do you say? [Leaning against Peter] Want to go upstairs?

PETER: Selena, not now.

[Peter hurries after Violet and Selena is left alone.]

SELENA: Okay, fine, I was just asking. [Muttering to herself]





TWO

Violet Hill
Age: 16
Appearance: Light brown ponytail, slim body, green eyes, 168 cm, short green dress, black stilettos.

Peter Branson
Age: 19
Appearance: Almost black messy hair, muscular body, 185 cm, dark jeans, white button-up shirt, red converse.



- TWO –

[Violet is standing on the pavement with her back to Peter, who comes running towards her. He is stopping behind her.]

PETER: Violet, [Grabbing her arm] can you please stop acting like a child so we can talk about this?

VIOLET: Don’t call me a child. [Turns around, looking disgusted at him] It’s over, Peter.

[Violet takes a step to the left to avoid looking at Peter.]

PETER: Seriously? [Looking a bit surprised]

VIOLET: Yeah. Now go. [Pointing in the direction of the party]

PETER: It’s over? Just like that?

[Violet turns around to face him]

VIOLET: Just like that.

PETER: Listen, she [Pointing up to the house where the party is] kissed me [Pointing at himself]. What was I supposed to do? [Looking questioningly at her]

VIOLET: Are you kidding me!? [Irritating]

PETER: What? [Acts like he doesn’t know what she means]

VIOLET: Did you actually think that I would believe that crap you’re telling me right now? [Raising her eyebrows]

PETER: What crap? [Pretending like he doesn’t know what crap she is talking about]

VIOLET: That Selena kissed you. [Making a small gesture with her hand in the direction of the party where she saw them kissing a few minutes ago] That crap.

PETER: But it’s true!

VIOLET: Really?

PETER: Yeah. Why won’t you believe me? [Looks a little sad]

VIOLET: Oh. You want to know why? First of all, [Holding up her thumb] even if she did kiss you first, you didn’t have to kiss her back. Second, [Holding up her forefinger too] you like that-

PETER: No, you know what? That [Making a gesture with his hand] is crap.

VIOLET: I know you like her. [Looks down for a second, before facing him again] Don’t you think I notice the way you look at her? [Her voice starts to shake] All the looks you exchange when you think I’m not looking? [Looks like she is about to cry]

PETER: [Sighs quietly]

VIOLET: Do you know how much that hurts? [Starts to cry quietly]

PETER: But I love you, Violet. No one else.

VIOLET: I don’t believe you. [Turns around]

PETER: Look at me. [Forcing her to look at him by using his hands]

VIOLET: No. [Keeping her eyes closed]

PETER: I love you. [Whispering in her ear]

VIOLET: Stop. [Opens her eyes]

PETER: [Wiping away some tears from Violet’s cheek before letting his hands fall] I won’t stop until you believe me.

VIOLET: That will take like.. forever. [Trying to sound sarcastic] Why can’t you just go? [Sobs] Why can’t you just leave me alone?

PETER: I’m serious, V. [Sounds dead serious]

VIOLET: If you say so. [Shrugging her shoulders]

PETER: [Smiling weakly]

VIOLET: But I’m leaving now, if you don’t mind? [Sarcastic] I guess I’ll see you at school on Monday anyway.

[Violet walks away]

PETER: I hope we can work things out then. [Muttering to himself as he watches her leave]

I like these scenes a-lot, but i think you need to have an extra hook. Just having the cheating,break-up, make-up kind of gets..um... boring only because it's used in many stories,and are usually predictable. But of-course, i don't know what you have coming. Keep adding, i'll try and stay tuned!(:

-Hope