Young Writers Society

She rushed
rushed
rushed
Couldn't get there fast emough
She must complete her task
I rushed
rushed
rushed
I can't get there fast enough
I can't complete my task
I need help
help
help
I must get Help
I must tell Help to run
I must tell Help to rush
I must tell Help to complete my task
Do my own duty
In Helps manner
Help rushed
Help is rushing
Help will rush
Help will complete my Task.
---
But who is Help?
Who is the help.....
Where is the help.....
How do I locate Him?
Or is Help of the female nature?
Is help a them?
Is it one?
Where is help?
Who is he?
Where is she?
Who is She?
---
I must find Help.
Help must help.
Or will it be.....
Discover

I liked it... your style really makes the point of the girl being rushed. The internal questioning also really serves to impress on the reader a feeling of helplessness within the girl. I'd get rid of the "Or is help of the female nature" line though, and just make the one right before it "Is help a him" and then "Is help a her?" You also need to change "emough" to "enough" in the opening lines.

Overall, good poem.

Well, considering that you, Gracey13, are my younger sister:
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
lol, just kidding. anyways, I agree with Nate...dido to what he said.

thanx nate
and carsnadguitars77
i appreciate the kindness of you to, i feel so honored to have the two highest YWS pointers like my stuff!!!!!!! my sister to, OMGOSH!!!!
heheheheeee
lol
nate_i'll change it,you'll see

Very cool.

When I was reading it, I actually read it faster than usual, because I felt, well, rushed!

I love how you gave the sense of being rushed. Excellent job.

I feel like taking this piece, which was the first thing on the list, in chronological order, and placing it in first place in anti-chronilogical order. (Thus making it the first thing people see when they click on "Other")

To review what you did december 2004 is in itself a silly task, but I shall do it anywho... Vive la révolution!

I thought this was an interesting piece, if it wasn't I wouldn't have bothered. Cool beans. Very hurried. The piece in itself expressed almost without words the hurriedness.