Young Writers Society

Letter to Love.

Dear Love,

I know it may seem very awkward for me to be writing such a letter to you, but I only wanted to make a few things clear between us.

I admire your work, honestly I do; however it does seem to me that you may be losing your touch, dear friend. In the past, when I knew you so well, you were very careful in decision making but now your choices seem to be taken lightly, which leads your victims to me.

Let me enlighten you on the subject with a little example of your most common victims who end up with me: female adolescents. You blind them so artistically, they believe they can do anything- fly even. But they end up falling into my pit. My beautiful abode. You make them love male adolescents who do not love them back. Thus, and I must say it is a little extreme, they turn to me. Take your time with them- they’re still very young (and very weak) when it comes to this sort of emotional rollercoaster. So they take drastic measures. Besides, today, with all their new scientific discoveries, it is so much easier to get to me, so make sure you keep them away. My dwelling is only in case of emergencies.

It’s just a word of advice, dear friend. I plead you to take it because I am very busy here with human beings facing more important issues such as mental problems, family problems, criminal minds, and unwanted pregnancies so I do not have the time and patience to attend to mere mortals with ‘heart issues’.

Lastly, remember to touch up on a few areas of your so-called ‘specialty’ to avoid a population increase at my front door. I’m not always fond of visitors because instead of getting it over and done with, they end up crying in regret and can’t make their minds up. I don’t have time for that, and you’ve guessed that I’m quite hostile.

Yours carefully,
Suicide.

Oh my goodness, I love this! It was the title that reeled me in, and I was not disappointed. I wasn't expecting the ending and it really caught me by surprise, in a good way. No nitpicks, just a pat on the back

Really good job. At first I didn't understad it but then when I saw the ending things made sence so I went back to the top and read it again. The second time was more enjoyable because I knew what was going on but the first time was amazing because of the suprise ending. Personally I think this is beond great and I really enjoyed it so thank you.

Hi there! I'm here to review, a requested.

This was a really good piece. I enjoyed reading it! It was written well (only a few grammer mistakes) and was very interesting. You had me guessing the whole time, trying to figure out who this guy was who was writing to love. The ending was the best part. I like how you started dropping hints about the writer near the end. I still couldn't figure it out until I read the 'yours carefully' there at the end. Great job!

Here are a few corrections I think you should make.

I admire your work, honestly I do; however it does seem to me that you may be losing your touch, dear friend.

You should use either a semi-colon or a period inbetween 'do' and 'however'. With the comma there it's a run-on sentence. It flows a lot better with the different punctuation.

Take your time with them- they’re still very young (and very weak) when it comes to this sort of emotional rollercoaster. So they take drastic measures.

This will also flow better if you chop it into two sentences. I can't really tell if it's a run-on, but it definitely sounds better.

I’m not always fond of visitors because instead of it getting it over and done with it, they end up crying in regret and can’t make their minds up. I don’t have time for that, and you’ve guessed that I’m quite hostile.

I liked this part. Before this part, I kind of cheated and looked at the end to see who was writing this letter. I'm not a very patient person. Because of that, I really understoond this part and if suicide was able to voice its opinion, I think it would say something like that.

Great job with this! And I agree with you about how stupid it is for girls to commit suicide over a guy. I'm a teenage girl and I have had countless crushes on guys that don't like me back. In fact, I've had a crush on this guy throughout all of high school. And right after we graduated he started going out with a girl who was on the basketball team with me. But it wasn't devestating. Things like that happen all the time. I think some girls are just stupid.

Anyway, this was a great piece. Keep writing!

*Edited* Thanks Noelle!

*Edited* Thanks Noelle!

*Edited* Thanks Noelle! And thank you to the others who commented.