Young Writers Society

 
Out of the darkness of the night
Gracie’s voice was heard, full of fright!
With anger and rage Caleb leapt out of bed,
In fact, he jumped so high that he bumped his head.
“I’ll save you,” he whispered and rushed to the door.
But on the other side ice covered the floor!
There were no walls or roof, just snow;
It was the North Pole, you know.
 
Up ahead Bad Guy was running
With a speed that was quite stunning.
Little Gracie cried for someone to save her;
Under Bad Guy’s arms she shivered and said, “Brrrr!”
She didn’t know that Caleb was already on his way;
He was thinking of how he could save the day!
A few more leaps and he was ahead!
Stopping, he turned his head.
 
“Let her go or I’ll make you cry!”
Bad Guy just said, “I want to see you try.”
Gracie moved away so that they could fight,
And their angry shouts soon filled the calm night.
Caleb used his taekwondo to beat the kidnapper
Who saw that to win he’d need a big zapper.
Since he had none he had to give in;
Caleb was overjoyed by his win!

Gracie smiled so big that it hurt;
Bad Guy lay in the snow, smelling dirt;
Caleb laughed and looked like the hero he was.
Then he picked up Gracie and hugged her because
She was safe and sound, and the danger was gone.
So Caleb walked away with a great big yawn,
After all it was the middle of the night
And he knew he had done all right.

Once Gracie was safely in bed
“Goodnight, sleep tight,” was said,
And Caleb went straight to the kitchen.
He went up to the fridge, moved the chicken…
And found the best snack to end the best day:
Not fruit or pudding or fries or fish fillet,
Not tacos or hot dogs or Chinese,
MACARONI AND CHEESE!!!!

This is a funny poem! I like it!
I only have a few nitpicks to make.
Cailey wrote:

Under Bad Guy’s arms she shivered and said, “Brrrr!”

This line was awkward to me; although it is humorous poetry, you should show some threat in the Bad Guy getting Gracie, even if it's as small as getting spanked. It also didn't really seem to rhyme with "her"; maybe it was just out of balance (if that makes any sense), with the rest of the lines.
My second nitpick:
Cailey wrote:

Bad Guy lay in the snow, smelling dirt;

I wasn't sure if you meant it literally or not, but if you did, then how can someone be smelling dirt if they're in the snow?
Hope this was helpful! Good job!

hey Cailey!!!
this was an awesome poem. I love poems that rhyme. i just luv this verse:

There were no walls or roof, just snow;

It was the North Pole, you know.

North Pole. Haha. Great job and KEEP WRITING!!!

I like it, it's funny and fun. There's just two things though. It says he layed in the snow, smelling dirt. Wouldn't he be smelling snow? And the second is I feel it could flow better, since it is a poem, but good job, anyways. Keep writing!
-tgirly