Young Writers Society

Details: This job is the most common in the world right now, and is the easiest to get into. Applicants can begin as soon as they graduate and may be in this position for months, with no visible end in sight, always with the hope that it will end with the next job application. And then it doesn't.


Responsibilities:

Main duties will be searching and applying for vacancies in a desperate attempt to move out of your parents' house now that you've finished studying
Will need to rewrite your CV over a hundred times to make it fit the job vacancy at hand
Access to the internet would be a great advantage, although not necessarily a guarantee of successful task execution
Networking is a possible method used (otherwise known as bugging people who DO have jobs to, like, you know,hook me up man.)
Reading up on all the application, résumé and interview "tricks" used to get a job quickly
Finding out that the tricks don't work.
Location: Anywhere (and everywhere)


Qualifications: Any at all


Approximate Salary: competitive, depending on personal lifestyle, but can begin at (–)R1000 per month (covering living cost and application forms mailed to hundreds of locations)


Required Experience: (and this is important) None whatsoever.The less experience you have, the more likely you are to retain the position.


Character Traits:

A stubborn naivety in the face of constant rejection
A powerful resistance to going insane with frustration and from repeating the same actions with hopes of a different result this time
The stamina of a marathon runner
A sponsor (a superior known as Mum or Dad) to cover living and application costs
A resistance to the feeling of depression, inadequacy, and having wasted years and money gaining qualifications that no one seems to want in this economy
A jealous streak toward your old classmates who have had jobs from forever...
Actual application process not necessary. You can begin today!

Hai.

I haven't reviewed anything like this in ages, I've been busy with stories and things, so this'll be a nice little treat.

Being a sarcastic piece and all, I found it quite amuzing, in a dead serious sort of way. You didn't write it so it looked tacky which, in all honesty here, could have been the outcome.

Something that I want to point out, job hunting is not an actual profession you know that right? As you said it was sarcastic I fifured you already knew but I had to just, let you know.

Required Experience: (and this is important) None whatsoever.The less experience you have, the more likely you are to retain the position.

This is the all time, best line, in the whole damned thing. It's ingenius, I'm actually going to ask you this; How on earth did you do it? How did you come up with such an idea and write it up so intelligently?

You truely made my day, it was really well written and the humour in it was just so fluid. Your flow was easy and clear and you portrayed your information in a very factual yet connected wya. It was different, unique and very entertainging.

A massive big LIKE here,
Well done,
Kagi xoxo

Why thank you! :-

Yes I do know that job hunting is not a job haha! However, I was trying to express the fact that it feels like a job in itself. Except all you do is lose money instead of earning.

How did I do it? Well, I came up with the idea by living it... I was actually quite depressed at the constant application writing for months on end. I wrote the piece as a form of self expression, and to remind myself that I wasn't alone in my plight. Thankfully that phase is over!

I think the best writing comes from being honest with yourself

Haha, awesome! Very satirical, and I can absolutely relate, particularly the part about the less experience you have the more likely you'll retain the position. It's a vicious cycle isn't it, because nobody will hire you without experience, and nobody will give you the experience you need, because you don't have experience! >.< I've broken the cycle now as I have a job, but I think a lot of people would be able to relate to this. Also, it could be a lifelong career if you really want it to be! Maybe you could add some perks in there as well - lots of free time, you don't have to spend money on other people because they know you can't afford it... ooh, good for people who work well independently. Great stuff anyhow, I love this!

Haha! Thanks for the feedback Matt! Please feel free to drop by my blog at any point (it's in my signature)

Yes the vicious circle of experience! I wonder if employees noticed this - they don't seem to! By the way, what broke the cycle for you finally? For me it was using my resources - friend of a friend, starting with small jobs until big companies noticed me...

Ah yeah, just shows it's not always what you know but who you know, really. I got an office job through an agency. It's only six months contract and not really what I wanted but hey, it's a job!