z

Young Writers Society


Mutts - Drink



User avatar
922 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 42011
Reviews: 922
Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:23 pm
GryphonFledgling says...



5/20/08

060 – Drink

The alcohol burns, long and hard, down my throat and even minutes afterward, the heat is heavy and comfortable in my stomach. Sevny is warm at my side and her head fits perfectly on my shoulder. All is right in the world.

Everyone around me is happy and a little drunk. Telve’s usually stern mouth is turned up slightly in a silly grin. It was his idea, and Evan’s, to make the drink. He won’t tell us where he learned how to do it. I’ve asked him many times.

“Did the humans teach you?”

His answer is always silence, even now when he is more talkative than usual. Right now, he has jumped on a barrel and is doing a little dance as he signals with his hands for everyone to be quiet. The quiet takes a long time to come.

“They call us Mutts,” he says, and everyone boos. I can feel the noise throbbing in my chest. Telve shushes us.

“We are. But that is not a bad. It is a good! We are better than the humans!”

Cheers now. Sevny lifts her head from my shoulder to cheer and wave her arms. I cheer too, but then I settled down and pull her back to me. Her breath smells of alcohol as she sighs happily. My head is buzzing. It feels funny, but it doesn’t hurt.

“The humans have things they call ‘holly days’ where they were always complaining. We are better. This is our first holly day and we will be happy! Humans had calendars, so will we, but ours will be better! Every calendar will start with this holly day!”

Cheers again, but when they finish, my brother, Saxnin, calls out.

“Why do we need calendars, even better ones?”

Telve doesn’t stop grinning. Normally, he would have beaten anyone who asked him questions opposing his ideas. He is leader, after all. My brother should be careful.

“Calendars will help us know what day it is.”

“Why know that? That is human!”

Telve growls a little. Sevny cuddles closer to my chest. I take another drink. If Saxnin gets in a fight, I’ll have to save him because he’s my brother. I want to be drunk before I fight Telve. Shut up, please, Saxnin.

“You hate humans, don’t you, Saxnin?”

My brother nods.

“You want to fight them?”

A little hesitation this time when Saxnin nods. He doesn’t know where Telve is going with this question. Telve asks another question.

“If we were to fight, isn’t it best to know much about the fight? You must think like a fighter, think like enemy.”

Saxnin relaxes. He understands. Sevny growls a bit against my chest. She understands too. She likes fighting.

“Drink!” Telve shouts, holding up his drink that we all know is another human thing, one that we have made better. “Today is our first holly day! The beginning of the Mutts and the end of the humans!”

Sevny and I cheer and drink with everyone else.
---

Hmm, I've got quite the list of possible related pieces, no? I have to figure out a way to cut that down so you don't have to scroll forever and a day to actually get to the story. Any suggestions?

Anyway, an interesting note about this story (or at least I think so) = the Mutts' names in this story are pretty much twisted numeral names. For instances, Telve is "twelve". These are first generation Mutts to have escaped and they were always called by their numbers in captivity, so they have just bastardized the numbers to make them names. Not necessary to know for the story, but I thought it was kind of a cool note. I just couldn't figure out how to put it in the prose and have it relevant. */geekiness and shameless bragging*
Last edited by GryphonFledgling on Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I am reminded of the babe by you.
  





User avatar
42 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1290
Reviews: 42
Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:01 am
listeningforthemuse says...



I really liked this
I'm not quite sure I understand what the characters are...
if they're dogs, why are they talking? (Is that a stupid question?)
Why are they called mutts?

I really liked the whole name thing, and the opening captured my attention
I can't believe noone else has commented on this story

sorry, if you wanted critiquing I'm not doing too good of a job
let me find something...
Aha!

"A little hesitation this time when Saxnin nods He doesn’t know where Telve is going with this question."

I think you meant to put a period in there.
Okay, I'm done :smt001
"...she was a lovely lady, with a romantic mind and such a sweet mocking mouth..."

- 'Peter Pan' by J.M. Barrie
  








A wizard is never late. Nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.
— Gandalf