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Young Writers Society


The Walkers



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Mon Oct 15, 2007 9:44 pm
jonny911 says...



Prologue


A heavy man walked into the room. He felt a strange sensation and ignored it. He was flanked by two guards; both silent and attentive. The man stumbled to the chair at the head of the room. Two tables sat away from it at opposite sides. The guards flipped a switch, and now could no longer be seen clearly, they were just two blobs of displaced air. The man took a seat.

A smaller, younger man with a weary disposition burst from the stairwell. He rushed to the large man’s side. He handed him some papers, and then stumbled away to his own chair in the far corner. “Nice suit today, sir,” he blurted out, forgetting to pay his respect.

“Ha, sucking up. I expected no more from you, Butler. Fetch me some wine. It’s going to be a long day today and I got to impress.”

Butler uncorked a bottle he had drawn from the pocket of his musty brown suit. He delivered it to the small table his master sat at. The man took a long chug of wine and wiped his lips with a handkerchief. The liquid evaporated in the folds of the cloth.

The master laughed. “At least you’re good for something, Butler. You should be glad. Remember what happened to the last butler. Those were some…”

The automatic door slid open. Four soldiers, three of them men, stormed in the room. They wore they're most impressive armor, and had taken of their helmets to be able to talk. They took their places, two to each table.

“Wonderful tie today, sir,” one noted. The master nodded his head in thanks. Butler grunted in disgust. He knew he would never earn master’s sympathy. He should never have taken this job. His sanity wasn't worth 66$ an hour.

The man and the woman at the easternmost table chatted quietly. The man sitting next to the complimenter spoke. “So, sir, why have you gathered us here today? I canceled an important meeting; more of the enemy refugees have been seen in District S-4, and it’s important we deal with them. No offense, but this better not be another one of your lectures. I don’t want to have canceled for nothing...”

Master chuckled, his plump face tinting red. He said, “Don’t worry. This is important. I know we’ve all gotten tired of them,” faces nodded. The women turned away from her conversation. “But my advisors and I have come up with a plan, and I think you’ll all approve. Especially you.” He gestured to the man who had asked the question. “Now, I believe we should start this meeting.”

The master pressed a button on the table, and in the middle of the floor raised a large metal block. The floor peeled away to accompany it. On its top was a large screen, colors swirling this way and that, obviously a vibrant effect for show. However, the guests were not impressed, and the master pressed a button to skip the lightshow. From the table a 3-D map of the surrounding area rose. Four flags represented the four armies. Letters were on them: N, K, L, and D.

The guests examined the setting. Only master noticed an engineer come in the room. He flashed his identification at master, who nodded, and got to work on a socket near Butler. Master raised his voice again.

“This, my people, is a map of District Z-3 and H-3. This dot represents Farah: a small town in the Irren Depression. These flags represent your finest regiments of war. I have a plan for a battle that will surely make a mark in history. Please watch.”

*

Outside the room, a slim, muscular man was waiting. He was dressed up in strange fare: old fashioned leather armor. His belt; also leather; was riddled with pockets, holding all sots of oddities. A guard walked right by him. Idiots he thought. He wrapped his arm around his fragile neck and snapped it in half. The guard slumped on the floor. He ran though the halls, identifying the room he was looking for. A camera spun around. Nothing could see him now, though.

He waited a while; at least half an hour, he deduced. He saw a guard enter the room, obviously scared. Someone found the body. He slipped in as the door slid to welcome the soldier.

“Master, there’s a body outside!”

The woman shot up and darted out of the room, along with the guards. The other two men knocked over the tables and put them into a V formation, to help defend the room if need be. The master was too shocked to give out orders: he simply scampered under his table. Butler joined him. The engineer slipped out in the commotion.

The assassin mumbled a word and a blade protruded from his left hand. It was large and blood stained. It was extremely hefty: nothing any man; muscular as they were, would be able to lift. He became visible as well, and the two men opened fire. Their shots glanced away from his body, gouging scratches in the armor where they glanced of. The assassin rose his blade.

But they were used to this. It was a drill they had practiced to death. They flipped a switch on their rifles to switch to slower, armor piercing rounds. But the assassin rolled away, and launched himself at a wall. Shots followed his every move, bouncing of the wall with high pitched shrieks. The wall shook with extraordinary force as his blade dug in, and he pushed away toward the westernmost table. One soldier, reloading, was knocked over, out of consciousness. His rifle was knocked out of his hands, bursting through the glass near the large table. The remaining soldiers prepared sonic grenade.

The assassin forced his hands to his ears.

Incredible force shook the room. Splinters from the table rained on the soldiers, but a dent was not left anywhere on their body.

The assassin bellowed in pain. I should have left his shields up he thought. His head and arms were bloody. The assassin muttered an incantation and disappeared.

The two soldiers prowled the room, as the assassin slipped out, a puff of smoke. Two ordinary guards knelt before the body down the hall. He ran forward, returned to physical form, and lay his hands on them. They shuddered and fell over. He muttered some nonsense again, and smoke engulfed one of the bodies.
*
The Master and Butler were alone, their strongest soldiers having given up the search for the assassin. The door slid open.

"Darf..."

But master sighed. It was just one of his regular gaurds.

"Master, may I escort you someplace safer? You've had too much for one day. Come with me."

Master took a long sip of wine. All the blood had drained from his face. He was covered with dirt and ash. They walked out together. No one mentioned the assassin for a long time. They had a plan to put in place.
"Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A felon!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yah! This kid at school says they get all the girls!"
"I should try that..."
  





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Mon Oct 15, 2007 11:20 pm
BigBadBear says...



Hey! This is a good start; very intriguing. There was only a couple of things that I noticed, and I'll point them out.

The guards flipped a switch, and now could no longer be seen clearly, they were just two blobs of displaced air.


I really didn't understand this. Could you put it in simpler terms?

Oh yeah, before I forget, I couldn't place my finger on where this was happening. Was it inside a military building? Be exact.
And the time. Is it in the future? I couldn't tell. From the rifles to the swords, I just couldn't tell. But maybe that is what you wanted?

“Ha, sucking up. I expected no more from you, Butler. Fetch me some wine. It’s going to be a long day today and I got to impress.”


This isn't exactly relistically talking. Ha.. did that make sense? It doesn't seem like a man would really say this unless he was like Shakespear or something.


You spelt "they're" when you should have put their in this paragraph


The automatic door slid open. Four soldiers, three of them men, stormed in the room. They wore they're most impressive armor, and had taken of their helmets to be able to talk. They took their places, two to each table.


I have another question: Who is the master? You never specified.

complimenter


Is that a real word?


You pulled out the assasin pretty darn good. I like the action that you have, and it is very easy to understand.

Well, this is really great. I can't wait to read more!
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.
  





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62 Reviews



Gender: Male
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Reviews: 62
Tue Oct 16, 2007 8:19 pm
jonny911 says...



Just a note: a lot of the parts in this chapter are sort of meant to be misunderstood, especially where they are and who they are. It's kind of hard without the other chapters, but just remember It's not an accident that I don't go into detail on some things.
"Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A felon!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yah! This kid at school says they get all the girls!"
"I should try that..."
  








The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
— Amelia Earhart