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Life Through The Horse's Eyes. chapter 18 + yay!



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Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:03 pm
JenGwen says...



18

Nice home

When I finally got to the place I was heading to I felt SO relieved! Now I would get a drink, I hadn’t had one all day.

We had stopped at the side of a country lane, they lowered the ramp and led me out onto the road, there wasn’t much smell in the air, they led me across the road and into a grass driveway, we walked up it on a loose rope and up to a gate, they opened it and let me into the field. There were five horses in it. I didn’t find out their names straight away, but I did later, so I’ll describe them now:

A bay boy horse with a black mane and tail who called himself Montana,

A pitch black boy horse that was called Captain Jack,

A big grey boy horse who called himself Connor.
A chestnut boy horse with a blaze across his forehead who carried himself like a ballerina, who was called Jasper,

A big girl horse who was dark bay but with a lighter bum who called herself Duchess,
And finally a grey boy horse who was quite old, with a shabby mane and fading coat, which wasn’t shiny anymore, who called himself Sunny, but didn’t look it, not really.

On the other side of the fence were three others they were called:

Quinn, a big black boy horse.

Holly, a grey mare who looked very stuck up.

Spirit, a chestnut horse who looked like he would chew off a branch because it was being mean to him.

Solo, a pretty palomino. I found out he was Gwen’s pony. I was a bit cross as I hoped I would be Gwen’s, as she reminded me of Rose.

And finally, Maverick, a massive dark, dark bay horse who was boss of that herd.


The big brown boy horse on my side of the fence who was called Montana, led the rest of the herd towards me, he introduced himself and said he was the boss around here, he smelled funny, sort of well, strange, I asked him if he was a stallion and he said no!

“What do you mean no, you’re a boy aren’t you?”

“Yes I am a boy, I’m just not a stallion” he stated

The rest looked at me like I was stupid or something, but why were they looking at me like that? It was their boss who said he was a boy, but not a stallion!?

“What are you on about?” I asked bemused

“I’m a boy horse, but I’ve been gelded, castrated, cut, so have all the other boys” he said proudly

I looked at him with a question in my look

He explained that he is a boy, but can’t mate with girls, and some of his hormones have gone too.

“Oh my gosh! Are you ok? Why have they done this to you!?”

“It’s ok, I’m fine, and they did it because they didn’t want me to mate with girls and have foals, it doesn’t hurt or anything.” he reassured me

“Oh sure, ok.” I said warily. I was hoping they wouldn’t start any of that with me!

“So, how did you come to be here?” he started to ask, then a strange thing happened.

A shrill whistle came from near the stable; Montana looked over to where it came from and started trotting over. Pauline, the woman who bought me, came into view. She waved a long stick (the same one she tapped me with to get me in the lorry) and Montana started cantering towards her. She gave him a carrot and caught him, and then she led him out of our field and into the other.

She asked him to do lots of things, like;

Jump a jump,
Walk, trot and canter in circles,
Back up over a pole,
Go sideways over a pole,
Hop from one leg to the other, sort of like dancing.

I watched in amazement. Wow. He was really smart.

After a few more minutes, Pauline took Montana’s halter off. Aha! I thought - here’s his chance to run! “Go Montana Go” I shouted gleefully. The other horses looked at me knowingly. Montana didn’t move. Pauline asked him to do the jump again and he did it immediately, now was his chance to run away. But instead he turned after it and came to her.

I was stunned, why didn’t he run away?

She walked away from the jump and asked him to follow her across the field at a canter and he happily did it for her. She must have been making him do all this stuff, why would he stay and do it otherwise?

Even though she made him do all of that, he still came to her with pricked ears and didn’t try to run off!

When she brought him back into our field and started training with her other horse, I asked Montana what she was making him do, he replied;

“Pauline didn’t make me do anything, she asked me to do some things for her, and since she feeds me, gives me water, and other things, I did it for her.” he stated. “Also …..” he paused.

“Yes, also what?” I asked still feeling faint with astonishment.

“Also …..Well, … I kind of love her” he finished with a rush.

“Oh… right”

He must have a problem.

“She started with something she calls the squeeze game, warmed me up by doing the circling game, asked me to do yo yo game over a pole, sideways over a pole, piaffe, and liberty to finish. Not hard, just warm up things.”

“Wow. They don’t look simple things to me” I said frankly. “What does she call that long whip?”

“What do you mean… do you mean the Carrot-stick?”

“If that is what it’s called”

“Yes that is what it’s called, and it’s not a whip, it’s just an extension of her arm”

I looked over to see what they were doing now,
Pauline was training Maverick, her own horse.
Gwen was training her horse, Solo.

And Adrian was fixing a fence that Solo had broken.



19

Training 2

“So how are you today Sienna?” Gwen asked the next day.

I gave her flat ears. I wasn’t going to do any tricks for her!

Pauline shouted at Gwen to come back into the other field with me.

Gwen tried to halter me but I ran across the field. She shouted her mum and her mum came over. “It’s ok Gwen, I’ll catch her”.

“That’s what she thinks”, I thought gleefully, as I ran to the end of the field.

I ran around and around the paddock until I got bored of it. Pauline just kept casually following me around. Every time I tried to stop and eat she sped up, and I had to start running again. This was annoying. She started to creep around towards my tail and instead of galloping off I swung around to look at her. She turned and walked away and chatted to Adrian for a minute or two. Weird or what? Didn’t she want to catch me then? Or had she given up already?

Then back she came, slowly walking towards my tail. Stupid woman, didn’t she know the halter went on my head!! She wasn’t even hiding it behind her back - it was in plain view! I trotted off again, but she kept on following me. I turned to look at her, and she backed away from me. This was mad. I was getting a bit curious as to what she wanted, so I took a few steps towards her. She kept going backwards, and I kept going towards her, until before I knew where I was, I was standing right in front of her! She gave me a carrot, and I allowed her to put the halter on me.

Then Gwen gave Pauline her carrot stick and she rubbed it all over my body and waved it around, not hitting me.

I had seen her do this with other horses and so I wasn’t bothered. She put a longer rope on me and asked me to go around in circles - no chance! I reared and bucked and galloped, but she just kept standing in the middle, and allowed me to run around. As I stopped, exhausted, she rubbed my head, and then asked me again to circle. So I thought I would just do one, no more! As if she had read my mind, after one circle she looked at my bottom again, I faced her and we rested for a while together.

I was starting to realise that these people were different. No one was forcing me to do things, they were asking me in a polite way, but not letting me get away with being a brat either! I felt a bit foolish - I thought of Becky and how horrible she had been, and realised that’s how I was acting now!
I was soon being trained every day. I learned things like:

Jumping over a small jump
Walking over a tarpaulin,
Walking over a small bridge,
Doing figure eights around two barrels.

When she asked me to come towards her again after the jump I kicked out at her and I felt a sharp pain where my leg hit the stick instead of her bum, as I had wanted. I decided that was a bad idea with her.

I tried all of my tricks on her. When I tried to bite her she moved her elbow so my nose bumped into it! When I tried to strike at her with my front feet she wiggled the rope so hard I had to go backwards and so couldn’t reach her. I tried to push her out of the way and run off, but when I started pushing her something sharp dug into my side and I jumped away.

It was so annoying! And still nobody tried to ride me, which was one good thing anyway!

Gwen was very nice, she talked to me and groomed me and listened to me when I got a bit scared or confused.

Then after about a week, when I had completely given up being a brat, and was actually quite enjoying the feeling of being partners with Pauline, they decided to ride me.

They got me from the field and played with me for a bit before taking me to the gate.

I knew what they were going to do, they were going to ride me, and I had a few tricks up my sleeve.

When Gwen left to help with the poo picking, Pauline lined me against the fence. I remembered the mental notes I took with Becky and was going to try them on Pauline.

When she put her leg on the other side of the saddle, I bucked but she just pulled her leg back and stood on the gate again. Hmmm. That didn’t work, she didn’t seem worried.

She tried again and I didn’t buck, so she sat on me. I bucked big but she didn’t come off, she just stayed put.

I turned around to bite her leg but all that happened was my nose bumped into her toe. Ow! I’d better not try that again.

I reared, but she grabbed around my neck until I came back down again.

I started to bolt, but she turned me in circles and I just ran round and round in really small circles until I got fed up and stopped.

She did some things with me as she was riding me, she did;

Walk from one cone to the other,
Walk over a pole,
Go through two tyres,
Bend my head around to my left,
Bend my head around to my right.

It was easy, but I was going to put up a fight.

On every obstacle I, tried to bolt, bucked, reared or kicked it down or out of the way.

And each time she would just bend my head around to either my right or my left and get me to stand still.

She asked me to walk on and I argued a bit, but went. I gave up arguing, I was getting nowhere! The we stopped again, and she got off - amazing - she got off by choice and not because I made her! I was starting to feel some respect for this person.

As the weeks passed, we did more and more riding together. I no longer tried to throw her off. My lessons were so much fun, and she always rewarded me with carrots or apples, or sometimes by just standing still and day dreaming!



20

Fudge

A week had gone past of just walking and trotting around the field.
I had mastered all of the obstacles and had started to bond with Pauline.

A new horse had come into the field; she was a dark grey mare with a VERY fat tummy.

She was called Dusty, hence her colour.
It didn’t take long to find out who was leader and who was bottom; it went on our side of the fence:

Montana - leader,
Sunny - second in herd (because he let Montana take herd leader, and likes his position in herd and doesn’t want to go higher.)
Me - third, Montana’s fave horse!
Jasper,
Duchess,
Captain Jack, (otherwise known as Captain)
Conner,
And Dusty.

On the other side it went;

Holly,
Quinn,
Spirit,
Solo,
And Maverick.

It wasn’t normal for a mare’s tummy to be so big, but not anywhere else, everyone took an interest in Dusty.

Sometimes dusty would be grazing and would jump a bit and turn to look at her tummy, sometimes she would shout at the others to go away and leave her alone, and other times she would swish her tail violently, and not be able to settle anywhere.

Dusty parted from the field on night and lay down on a soft bit of grass; she kept calling and screaming, wriggling and thrashing around.

She did this for at least half an hour. Everyone went to see her, including me.

Some of the others would whisper to each other, saying, “Here it comes” or “not long left now”

I didn’t understand them but I knew something was happening to her, which wasn’t nice.

All of the geldings were really exited, and all us mares were worried about her, I asked them why and duchess said, “We are all so nervous because the geldings can trample the foal, there might be a miscarriage, and a fox or other predators might snatch the foal away.”

We were all crowded around her, she pushed really hard and two feet appeared out of her.

She pushed harder and a tiny head poked out.
She pushed again and a tiny foal slipped out onto the floor next to her.

We all gasped.

She turned around to her foal and said, “hello little one, I’m your mother, your name is fudge, and these are your herd friends.” she gestured to us, not a very good first impression, us standing there like Spirit.

The little foal looked around and snuggled up close to her mum, dusty told us to leave and we did as we were told and kept our distance.

We all knew that because of the nose and the smell of the mother and foal, it will attract predators, but since we are in England, there are no lions, or cougars that will pose a threat to our little fudge.

The geldings are our biggest worry; they could get a bit too supportive and trample little fudge, so we had to watch out for them, for Dusty.






21

A proper greeting

Later in the morning we all went to greet the foal, she was a pretty foal, she had a white blaze and a light brown body, Fudge really suits her!

It took a while before Dusty let us anywhere near Fudge.

When she did allow us to see her, she had a pretty voice. She asked her mum who we are and her mum introduced us.

I was the first to say “hi” and I stepped forward and said, “Hello Fudge, my name is Burnt Sienna, otherwise known as Sienna.”

She smiled at me and said, “Hi Sienna, how old are you?” she asked

“I’m five now” I replied

“Wow that’s old! I’m only two days old!”
“Ha ha, yes I know, I was there when you were born.”

“Wow really? What was it like?”

“Mostly worrying”

“Why?”

“Because sometimes predators can take you away and eat you when you are that young.”

“Oh…”

“They wont in this country though, we only have foxes, and I’m sure Montana can handle them.”

“Alright, it’s a good job I have you and the others, otherwise I might be eaten”

“I’m sure your mother can handle foxes without us there, she wouldn’t let you get eaten”

“yeh I know”

She said goodbye and headed off with her mum to go and see Gwen, Pauline and Adrian.

They were taking a great interest in Fudge, Gwen called out to her mum and they all came rushing to the gate to meet her.

It was a VERY slow day. Nothing happened at all, well that’s if you don’t include Montana taking an interest in Duchess, which annoyed me.

A week had passed and still nothing was happening, Fudge had grown, I had come into mating season, solo had escaped… again, the humans had played with Fudge, and summer had ended.


22

Conner’s story, and Conner is sold


It was a quiet afternoon when we saw some people come to the field, there were two of them, one was a skinny fake blond, and the other a porky brunette. They came in and caught Conner.

They took him to their Crew yard and inspected him all over; they liked the look of him.

Gwen led him up and down the field - trotting and cantering - and jumped him online, (from the ground).

They liked it.

Gwen saddled and bridled him; she got on and walked, trotted and cantered around the field.

She jumped a small jump, trotted and cantered a circle, and handed him to the skinny fake blond who I over heard was called Julie, she mounted him and did the same things Gwen had done.

She liked him a lot.

Pauline asked her if she wanted to take him out for a hack, and she said she would like to.

I had seen Maverick, Solo, Captain, Jasper, Montana, Duchess, Holly, Quinn, Spirit, and Conner all go for hacks, but never with another rider, so I was curious to see how Conner would behave.

I was ready and waiting for some action at the fence, hoping Conner would throw Julie off.

When she mounted him from the gate, he just stood there like a statue, I was so bummed.

I remember when he first came, he wouldn’t let anyone go near him, never mind ride him, and so this was a BIG improvement.

Pauline had worked with him for two months, getting him ready for this very day.

He had grown and grown in confidence, with humans and had relaxed a lot even in the field.

He had told us his entire story one night and we all crowded around him with our ears pricked, the story went;

(Conner) “my story began at a yard in Ireland; I was a cute little yearling when I was first briefly handled by some hefty Irishmen. They had cornered my mother and father and taken them away, leaving me all alone, unprotected in a field. They had a halter behind their back and chased me into a corner by the hedge.
One who had the halter had jumped at me and threw it over my neck; he wrestled with me, trying to do all the buckles up on it around my head. When he finally had done all the buckles up on my head collar, the other men put two more ropes on my head and dragged me across the field, past my mum and dad, and into this big arena.”

There were some oo’s and arr’s as he continued with his story.

“They held my head really tight and one took a running leap for my back and jumped on, I had never had a human on my back before and it felt like a lion trying to kill me.

So I bolted across the arena with him, but he just clung to my back for dear life while he pointed me at some jumps.

I was scared out of my wits, he managed to point me at a wall and make me stop.

He jumped off me and led me back into my field where my mum and dad awaited.”

He paused, editing a little.

“They did this a few more times and then transported me across the country to a cattle market.”

All the others gasped, obviously never been to a cattle market, the gasps seemed to encourage him to keep going.

“a few people had a look at me and one couple seemed to like me, they looked nice.

When I was lead into the ring he looked at a piece of paper and described what he read on the paper.

(commentator) “here we have a nice looking 15.3 dapple grey backed good paced gelding, has been handled well and has been jumped, schooled, hacked and competed. Good in traffic and can be handled and ridden by novices and pros.

Do I have a bid for 2000?”

(Conner) it went like that for about 2 minuets until that nice family bought me, transported to here, and here I am!”

Everyone sighed and some laughed.

The horses on the other side were pressed up against the fence listening too.

This is why I was so shocked that Pauline had managed to sort out all his human, claustrophobia, and manage problems.


Getting back to present time, Conner had gone for the hack and came back with a happy rider on his back.

They let him back into our pasture, he told EVERYONE three times about how nice Julie was and her friend, Sophie.

Nothing major happened in the next few months, I was ridden, hacked, schooled, played with, and looked at by other people.

It was a windy day in happyville.

It was wet, cold, boring winter now and we all shivered in our rugs.

All Pauline and Gwen would do would be, come, shiver, feed us, hay us, water us, (give us hay and water because the water trough had frozen), maybe sort our rugs out, and leave.

It was good in a way, I mean I didn’t have to do any work, and they left me alone.

On the other hand, it was bad; it was cold, wet, cold, dreary, and cold.



23

My foal

Winter is the scariest time for me; it reminds me of my first winter away from… my mum.

It was a muddy field now, mud up to your hocks, and Montana always got the worst of it!

Montana got a thing called mud fever, it is a big rash that only horses get, and it is really painful and can make them go lame.

One day in January a snow storm hit Nottingham, it was a big one that covered the ground in a sheet of muddy snow.

All the horses stood with their backs to the wind.

After about 3 weeks the storm passed.

It started to get more and sunnier, and everything blossomed.

I was talking to Montana one day and he paused.

“Is it just me or is your tummy getting bigger?”

I looked down at my tummy and exclaimed,

“Oh my gosh, it is! It’s massive!”

I felt a slight kick in my tummy and jumped forward.

Throughout the week I felt more and more kicks in my stomach.

Then one night I took myself off into the empty field and waited.

I lay down and I felt my tummy lurch, it was agony! I started screaming and Dusty came over.

“I know what’s happening, you are having a foal. It will hurt, but will be worth it.”

She carried on talking to me and trying to take my mind off the pain all night long.
I won’t give you details, they’re too horrid, but I’ll give you the basics - It was VERY painful!

When the foal did come out, she was beautiful, she had a lovely dark mane, with a grey body and a flecked black head, and I called her Sahara.

She was a small pony, half the height of me, with loving eyes.

I introduced her to the world and its contents like my mother did to me.

“Hello little one. My name is Sienna, I am your mother. These are your friends, and your name is Sahara. Unfortunately your dad is not here. He lives somewhere else.”

“Hello mummy, who is that?”
She pointed towards Fudge who was 3 months older than her now.

“that’s Fudge, Dusty’s foal.”

“ok… I’m thirsty.”


Here drink this.”

I stood up and nipped her a little to help her find my teat.

She was a jolly little thing, she pranced around a lot and annoyed all the others. She reminded me of myself when I was that age, I secretly encouraged her to annoy Duchess the most, hee hee.



24

People come to buy me… again


Over the next few boring months the Roses weaned Sahara off me. (weaned means separated)

It took a while of kicking the door in for me to realize that she was ok, and I was never going to get out.

On July the 14, 2007, some people came to see me.

There was a nice little girl, who had long brown hair, a mum who was well dressed and a dad who looked like a handy man.

They came over to see me from the gate and I looked at the girl with an interest and she seemed to like that, she walked up to me slowly, how I like it, and let me sniff her then moved to my shoulder and scratched me just where I like it.

They looked very nice and the girl was called Amy.

Her mum was called Sue, and her dad Andrew.

The girl loved me for a bit then rode me well.

She had a very good seat, she gently showed me which way she wanted to go and I complied easily.

We went for a hack and it was GREAT!! We even did a small canter!

I really liked this little girl and I wanted to see her again, I had never looked at humans this way before, I guess I loved her, in a horse owner way.

She seemed so happy at the end of the ride and so did her parents, they asked mum if she wanted the money now or when they pick me up. They chatted at the gate of the field, next to the daffodils.

“How about you leave a deposit and on the pickup day you can give me the full amount?” Pauline asked, not really a question.

“Yes that sounds great!” Andrew said enthusiastically.

“When shall we pick her up?”

“Whenever suits you” said Pauline happily.

“How about today, at three o’clock?” he asked.

“um…” she looked at her watch.

“Yes that will be fine, in two hours then.” she said smiling.

“Brill. I’d better be going now. I’ll see you at three.” he said happily.

“ok, bye!” she shouted.

Amy kissed me on the nose and hurried off to her car.





25

Pick up


Two hours later and a lorry arrived at the entrance to the field; Conner had already been picked up earlier that day, so I had seen it before.

They caught me and led me up the ramp, I went in beautifully and they were impressed.

They closed the ramp and started off I whinnied to all my friends and they whinnied back to me.

It reminded me of Drifter.

Sahara whinnied, but not in a babyish way, just as a friendly goodbye.

Sahara had completely got over me; she was just a young nuisance to me now so I wasn’t upset to be leaving her behind.

It was a shortish journey, about half an hour.

On the way a small door opened next to me head and Amy popped out.

She talked to me and gave me apples and feed until her dad called her back.

I was so pleased that I was going to live with this girl for a while at her field, with her horses, and her family.

I could burst with happiness! J

When we got there I felt the lorry wobble a bit, on old stones and concrete.

I heard three horses whinny, one a gelding, one a mare.

They let the ramp down and I walked out into the cool air.
It was a nice place, better than the other one I was at half an hour ago.
It had a small field at the front, with a crew yard at the top, a house at the bottom of it, and a big garden which could be used for horses at the back.

It had a good hedge and nice grass! It also has a shelter to stand in. The crew yard was good too, some nice stables on it, and a manage (pen but bigger, and with sand instead of just concrete or straw)

a small yearling, dark bay with a cheeky grin. Whinnied to me first.
The other horse was a stunning grey mare with flecks of brown on her. I felt a little jealous when Amy went to hug her and the other one.

She led me to the gate and let me sniff the others.
Once we had met she let me in and took of my halter and closed the gate.
I said hi to the mare first. She was called Vienna. The other pony was called Wally.

Amy said bye and went into the house.



















The rides with Amy were so fun! We had some nice canters and some brilliant gallops!
My fave ride was around the woods, it was lovely.

Amy tacked me up and set of for my fave ride!!! It was around the woods, jumped some jumps (not too big, ‘bout 75cm) we went up some steps too, they were fun, but that part of the woods was all gloomy and I always got a creepy feeling when I went there…….

When we were coming back, but still in the woods, there were a few cut down trees piled up at the side of the path. There were a hive of bees in them (that I didn’t know of) and one stung me! I leaped all over the place and Amy fell off over my shoulder, I felt really bad, but it hurt soooooooo much! She found the itching cream in the depths of her coat pocket, and it felt nice and cool.

Amy got back on and we jumped a log to get out and went home.























26

My first gymkhana


One day in the summer Amy came running out to catch me, she raced up to me head, swung the halter over and haltered me. She gave me such a thorough grooming I gleamed in the sun. What was up with her? She didn’t seem her usual calm self. I wondered what was going on and started to feel a bit worried.

She tacked me up with so much enthusiasm I spooked at everything!

We cantered out of the gate and galloped up the side of the road. ( on the grassy side. )

As I rounded the corner I let Amy open the gate and close it after her, and I could hear horses whinnying and people shouting, babies crying, kids shouting at their ponies and whistles being blown to start the clock.

It was a bit scary!

I could smell lots of things, I could smell;

Drinks,
Burgers,
Sandwiches,
Fruit,
Hoof oil
Shampoo for horses,
Feed,
Treats,
Hay,
Haylage,
Freshly cut grass,
Late blossom,
Sweat,
Farm animals.

As I entered I smelt everything and heard everything.

It was like a fair; all hustle and bustle; no one was just sitting down or reading a book.

There were lots of sort of big pens with jumps in them and horses bolting around them and owners (which were mostly young girls) hitting and shouting at their horses/ponies to go faster.

Not all of them but the majority.

It was madness! Commentators shouted this and that through microphones and there were dogs and pushchairs racing about me.

Horses scattered around and going too close to my behind.

It was very worrying.

The sun was blazing down on my head and some people were sunbathing next to the arenas.

Mums were pulling the ponies around weaves and buckets while little kids whipped and kicked them. (the horses not the mums)

In one arena horses were prancing around with tight heads and lifting their tails head-high.

It reminded me of those men and that girl Becky. I shivered thinking about it.

Amy was just riding me around the big field which everything was going on in, she took me into a big arena and I jumped a set of jumps very fast.
There were some scary spreads and some fillers, but Amy’s encouraging voice and her gentle leg urging me on I jumped them with no obvious hesitation.

A man called out our names and we went in a long line with other horses by our sides.

He gave Amy a trophy 1st place, and a medal 1st place, and a rosette 1st place.
We cantered around once and then went out of the arena to a grassy patch to celebrate.

Amy didn’t ask me to do anything for a while.

I got all nervous again and felt so scared.

I had never been frightened like this before - with the exception of the market - and whinnied to the horses that I passed and they whinnied back.

I got quite agitated so Amy got out her 12 foot line and worked me online for a while.

Amy took me over to a smaller pen with only one jump in it, she asked me to trot and canter around it, then jump it until I calmed down and jumped it nicely.

As I was crossing the field I saw a chestnut horse with a white mane and a light bay coat.

He had a girl Amy’s age on his back and was jumping quite big jumps, I went over to the arena to watch him jump.

I sniffed the air and it had a familiar smell to it but I couldn’t put my hoof on it. It smelled of lush spring grass and tickled a memory at the back of my mind where I store bad times.

I tried to protect myself from this bad memory, I taught myself to fear those memories, but it pushed its way to the front, I could see now.

Everything else vanished and I was in the big truck that took me away from my home in Spain. It had that rusty smell and the wood floor that was rotting. I was standing in a dark corner of it and I looked around at everyone in it.

I spotted a bay horse smaller than me but had a familiar look to her face…. I looked harder and suddenly realised… she was me!!!!!!!!!

She had the most dismal look to her and was shaking. She was trying to comfort the colt next to her and I realised that young colt was…….. Drifter.

I managed to climb out of this terrible memory and back into real times.

I opened my eyes and I was at the big field again watching who I now knew was, Drifter.

I whinnied my very loudest and he jumped the jump badly almost throwing his rider off.

He stopped and looked around the arena and I whinnied again, I reared and charged through the fence into the arena.

He looked at me with loving eyes and reared too.

All the other horses and people were looking at us in astonishment, but I didn’t care - I cantered up to him and we rubbed our heads against each other.

“Drifter Drifter Drifter, how did you get here? Drifter” was all I could say to him.

“Sienna… are you ok?” he examined me and we cuddled again.

“I’m fine but how did you get here?”

“Someone bought me and was lovely and brought me here! How about you?”

“Same, but longer” I licked him on his cheek and he blushed.

“oh Drifter it’s SO nice to meet you again”

“same” he batted his eye lashes.
Amy looked at me, then him, and made a ? face.






Amy made friends with Drifter’s owner and they visited often.
I fell in love with drifter again, much to the annoyance of Wally. J

And we had a happily ever after, my first.





The end

May I have a happy ending in a Child’s heart!

Look out for my next adventure!!


Copyright Jennifer Wroath.
The four elements of success: Talent, Skills, Try, and Luck. Talent you are born with; Skills you develop; Try is intestinal, fortitude or guts; Luck is spelled w.o.r.k. and is defined when preporation meets opportunity. :D
  





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Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:22 pm
Tenyo says...



Woah, this is long, kid!

You got to chapter eighteen, I commend you! But in order to make this a little more manageable for reviewers, I would suggest posting it chapter by chapter, rather than in such huge chunks. By the looks of this, I'm guessing you have over 5,000 words, and it's a complete story, so if you want it to be reviewed as a full story rather than chapter by chapter you should head over to the Advanced critiques forum.

So, what can we do to improve this?

First of all, instead of having lots of short sentences on separate lines, try packing them all into one paragraph. Chapter nine here is a pretty good example of what it should look like, and chapter 25 isn't too bad either. Having lots of short one or two lined paragraphs makes your work look a bit like a list, and it's difficult to read.

On the subject of lists, don't list things. Lists are boring. Instead of listing the things that your character was taught, how about a paragraph each to explain what the learning process was like, and how it felt to actually perform these things. Instead of listing new characters, introduce them one by one. Every character is improtant, so you should give them all their own chance in the spot light.

You should also consider taking a crash course in grammar, or checking out one of the articles on this site. Right now it seems like you're stringing words together randomly, but a few quick grammar lessons will help you to fix wthings together in a way that makes more sense, and will be easier for your reader to understand.

On the positive, I really like the perspective of this. Telling a story from the horses point of view is a brilliant and very creative idea. Well done!
We were born to be amazing.
  








In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien