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Major rewrite coming soon!
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When I came to the perimeter, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to see. It was a big metal conglomeration that stretched for miles around the city, not letting anyone in, not letting anyone out. I don’t know what I had imagined; a guard, maybe, a whole army, even. After looking at it for a few minutes, I began to follow it. Several miles later, I came upon a guard station. I wondered if this could finally be the exit I had been looking for. I crept closer and closer, ducking around buildings to keep concealed, willing myself to turn the same colour as the crumbly brick. Trucks went and out from a gate, feeding into the government base.
Suddenly, a hand covered my mouth and I was pulled back into the shadows of an alleyway. I kicked out behind me and tried to bite my captor’s hand. I was released and thrown into the opposite wall, the brick imprinting itself into my palms for hours. I turned around to see my captor. He was a boy barely older than I, dressed in clothes too big for him, though he looked almost military with cargo pants and high boots. His head had been shaved a while ago, but his blonde hair was beginning to grow back. Sill wary of teh boy, but even more so of the exposed light of the open street, I stepped as far into teh shadows as I could.
“What’s a broad like you doing around here?” he asked, taken aback that I was a girl.
“Ah, a gentleman, I see,” I said sarcastically, punctuacting every syllable as much as I possibly could, as I eyed him. “I’m trying to find a way out.” I couldn't have identified everything hanging off of this boy's belt if I had tried. The canteen, I understood, and the knife frightened me a little, but there was one long-- well, it looked like a bag, to tell you the truth-- sewn one end to his belt, a second to his left knee, and a third to that same ankle. It was almost beg enough to hold an entire human body.
“Aren’t we all,” he finally muttered. “Well, this isn’t the way to do it. This place is swarming with the patrols. No one gets in or out of this barrier without them knowing. Not here, at least. Let it alone.”
“Then I’ll find a way to change it.” He dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand, it worth no more merit than the packed dirt we stood on, and turned around to leave.
“Hah. Good luck, little girl.”
“Don’t call me a little girl; I’m just like you. Can’t be that much younger, anyways.”
“Oh, and what of the girl part?”
“Well, I don’t think there’s anything to say to that; I think just looking at you speaks for itself.”
His eyes grew wide and he pulled me back into the shadows. “Wha-- what are you doing?” I stepped back to smooth my hair and straighten my clothing.
“Patrol,” he whispered. Seconds later, a line of men in uniforms marched before the alley, staring straight ahead. After a few seconds, they had passed and the boy released me. “You’d better get. They’re changing shifts. In a few minutes, this place’ll be crawling with ‘em.”
I nodded in a silent goodbye and ran off down the alley, returning to my little shelter just as darkness fell.
I don't know why I returned to that alley. Honestly, I don't. In the back of my mind I suppose I was hoping to see the boy again, just to see another person who wasn’t out to turn me in. I climbed up onto the fire escape of an old apartment building and sat there, watching and waiting. If he was lurking there yesterday, it was either a repeat habit, or he was waiting for someone he didn’t find. Minutes later, he walked below. Silently, I climbed down and walked up behind him. Just as I was about to grab the back of his shirt, he spun around and picked me up by the collar of my shirt. I stared at him in amazement. “First rule out here,” he said with a glare, “Never sneak up on a friend.”
“Friend?” I asked in astonishment. He looked straight ahead. “How’d you know I’d be back?” I asked.
“Because you’re inherently nosy, you’re always somewhere you shouldn’t be, and I was just like you when I first came out here.” I smiled. He was just like me? “Now follow me."
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
I walked slightly in the shadows, careful not to keep too closely. We were walking straight towards the gate, and the boy was veering out into the sunlight more and more with each passing step. I grabbed his sleeve his sleeve. He turned, but stepped into the shadows the same. I looked up at him with wide eyes. “Why are we walking straight towards the gate?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at me and seemed to be contemplating something. “Have you eaten at all today?” he finally asked. I looked at him strangely. It wasn’t the answer I’d been expecting.
“Yes,” I replied slowly.
“What did you eat?” he asked.
“A granola bar.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s all I had. I ran out of candy bars.” I was whining now, and not in a very dignified manner, either. If whining is ever dignified, that is. He looked me over.
“How long have you been doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Eating just granola bars?”
“For about a week now. Why?” He shook his head.
“Do you know why there aren’t any people around anymore?” I shook my head. “It’s because they don’t know when to keep their mouths shut .They didn’t know when to go into hiding and when to stay out of the way. They make mistakes.”
“And what happened if they were in the way?”
“Do you know where all those people went? The ones who ‘escaped’?” I shook my head.
“Better that way, I suppose. I know I don’t want to be the one to tell you. All I’ve got to say is that I’m sure glad I didn’t get on one of those busses. We have to be careful in times like these. Come on.” He began walking away again. I didn’t move. He rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you coming?” he asked.
“No,” I answered. “Not until I know where we’re going.”
He rolled his eyes. “We’re going to a friend of mine’s house. She’s a wicked cook. You’ll love it. Go there, have a good meal; we’ll get you out of here.” I nodded and followed him this time. After a few minutes, a patrol began walking towards us. The boy pushed me into the shadows but stood his ground and saluted when the officer came near. I stared and my mouth dropped.
“Have you found anyone today?” the soldier asked my friend. He shook his head. The officer nodded, but glanced around anyway. And then, to my surprise and disturbance, stared me right in the eye. “Excellent,” the officer said. I didn’t wait to hear anything after that. I turned right where I was and ran, wishing again that I had eaten more than that granola bar that morning. I kept to the shadows and alleyways, knowing that they weren’t the soldiers’ area of expertise.
I made for the perimeter, thinking I could just jump over the wall when I came close enough. When I reached the end of the alley, I stared at the wall, not more than fifty meters from where I was. It wasn’t even daunting that it was probably three times as big as my small four foot frame. No one was behind me in the shadows, but between me and the wall was an unusually bright patch of sunlight that I didn’t care to go through. I should have just run back and hid in the building. That’s what I should have done. But I didn’t. I looked left, and I looked right, and when I saw no one there, I sprinted for the wall.
Because of the corrugation, it was fairly easy to climb. Someone more experienced would have been able to make it in a fraction of the time, but I got caught halfway up, not knowing how to haul myself over. Looking at the barbed wire over the top didn’t bother me at first; I knew I would have no problem with grated hands if I made it over the border alive and in one piece. Just as I began using the last of my strength to get the sole of my foot to balance on the top of the wall, I heard soldiers charging up behind me, though my friend was nowhere in sight. One jumped up to grab my ankle and pull me back down, but I was able to kick his hand away and push off his head with my foot, knocking him down and into the surrounding group where they absorbed the shock and all fell to the ground.
All I could concentrate on was getting over that wall. My hands were sliced and tears leaked from my eyes by the time I had turned around so that I was dangling off the other side. A small price to pay, in my opinion. I dropped down on the other side and sighed in relief, leaning against the wall. For no more than a minute though, I figured that the patrol would be sending someone after me right quickly.
I opened my eyes to go and screamed. I was looking right at twenty armed border guards, who had just been waiting for me to get over the wall, and behind them, a sheer drop off the cliff to the waters below. My eyes widened and I stood stock still for a minute, my hands dripping blood at my sides, trying to see how they would react. I figured that I could catch them off guard if I suddenly broke off at a run through the weaker sides of the group, but they caught me before my hand could even twitch. I was trapped and not going to escape.
Unknown to anyone else, Bao watched from the fire escape in the corner of the alley. He held his fist to his mouth as he watched the officers take the girl away in handcuffs that were so tight, they cut into her flesh. He had to do something. Not that he cared; there was a new captive twice a day. Why should this one be any different. Composing himself, he drank from the canteen hanging from his belt, and climbed down off the fire escape. In light of what happened, Bao could only think of one place he shoud go.
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Author's Notes
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First of all, if you've made it to the point where you're reading my author's note, I can't thank you enough; I know it's long, but I couldn't find a good break.
Can I ask for comments on things?
- Keeping the action moving; things happen, but I don't know if seems natural.
- Dialogue and the description that accompanies it; where is it awkward?
- Cliches; I can be really bad at deciding what is and what isn't cliche. If I've stooped so low, I want to hear about it so that next time I can do it on purpose
Thanks again!
Want to read the next chapter? It can be found here:Chapter Two
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