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Young Writers Society


A New Breed of Hero...



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Gender: Male
Points: 300
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Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:52 am
CtrlAltDelete says...



Chapter 1: First come, first serve

First come, first serve. That’s one of life’s many laws. Almost everyone lives by it. The homeless, the rich, the young, the old. Now, I seem to be the only living person around here on Earth. I was a pod child. Made artificially to be weapon. They saw I couldn’t survive in space. So, they sent me to Earth. I’m the thirteenth pod child to be launched to Earth. I hope I could find the others.
Forty steps. That’s all it took. All it took to find another person. I ready myself in case he or she was hostile. I maybe thirteen years old, but I’m doubly well armed than most. The girl stepped out from behind a rock.
“Who are you?” she asked. I put my hands up in the air, seeing she had a blaster.
“I’m Ethan Wilson,” I answer. She looks into my eyes, probably searching for any sign off lying, deception.
“I’m a pod child,” I continue. She puts down her blaster and walks toward me cautiously.
“I’m Dana. Dana Watson,” she answers.
“Pod child?”
“Yes.”
“What’d they do to you?” I ask her.
“I’m supposed to be the ship’s main defense system. I ran away. Tired of being used,” she looks down sadly. My stomach grumbled. I open my backpack to search for food. There was nothing except my upgrade components.
“What’re those?” Dana asked me, looking over my shoulder and pointing at the components.
“Upgrade Components. UCs. They’re used to upgrade my arms,” I take off my shirt, revealing my metal arms.
“Okay, weird…”
“I know. I was made without arms.”
“Okay. Now that’s weird and jacked up,” Dana said to me. My stomach grumbles again. “You’re hungry, aincha?”
“Yes. The dorks back at the spaceship apparently didn’t send food with me.”
“Follow me,” Dana gestured with her hand. I follow her. She steps behind a rock. I walk to her. She knocked on the rock. After a few seconds, a boy a few feet taller than us lifted the rock.
“Hey, Don,” Dana says, walking into the hole on the ground obscured by the rock earlier.
“Hey. Jim wants you. Says it’s important,” the boy named Don says in a deep voice. He points at me. “Who are you?”
“I’m Ethan Wilson. Pod child 13,” I explain. Dana tugs on my shirt sleeve and I follow her. We enter a dark room.
“WHO DARE DISTURB ME IN MY YOGA SESSION?!” a booming voice exclaims.
“Uh, it’s me, Dana,” Dana answers.
“Oh. Cool,” a boy steps from the shadows. Dana steps up to him and whispers something. The boy walks up to me.
“Jim Malone, at your service, et cetera, blah-blah,” the boy introduces himself, “and who are you?”
“I’m Ethan Wilson,” I hold out my right hand. Jim shakes it.
“So, Pod Child?” he asks me.
“Yes.”
“How old?”
“13 years.”
“I’m 17. Dana’s 13, too. And Don’s 14,” he says. Then he pauses for a second. He then looks into my eyes with a no-nonsense look. “Your mind, I-I can’t read it. It’s like a blank slate.”
“What? What does that mean?” I ask him, worried. Dana grabs my arm and looks into my eyes.
“It’s either you’re a robot or your mind’s so messed up and full of thoughts it looks blank. I doubt the latter,” Dana growls the last part. I gulp. I was pretty sure I’m not a robot.
  





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Gender: Female
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Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:10 am
onceuponatim3xo says...



Oh, I just realized that you posted this twice. I was so confused, I thought that my review had somehow gotten deleted. Best of luck with your story, let me know if you need any help! I'm really interested in seeing what your story could become!!

-Once
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
-Buddha
  








Every first draft is perfect, because all a first draft has to do is exist.
— Jane Smiley