Young Writers Society

We wake up the next day, sore and stiff from being in the tree and sleeping on the ground. We scavenge for some berries. It's not a big breakfast, but it'll have to do. We've got a long walk ahead of us. There's not even a farmhouse in sight.
Charlie seems odd. He's not as talkative as he normally is, but I guess that's understandable, considering the circumstances.
"You okay?" I ask.
"It's Sunday," Charlie says.
"Oh, yeah. I guess it is," I say. Charlie still seems upset about it, "Is this the first Sunday you've ever missed?" I ask.
"No," he says.
"How many have you missed?"
"I don't know..."
"What was the last one you missed?" From my experience (which isn't that great), churchy people know how many times they've missed, when they missed, and (if you're lucky) the reason why they weren't there. It's funny.
"You know, I didn't use to go to church," Charlie says.
"When did you start?"
"It was a week after they started chasing me. Before then, I'd had opportunities to, but I didn't go. I hadn't really thought much about Him before then. I didn't really think that God had done anything for me, so why should I go to church for Him." I raised my eyebrows at him. I thought that one of his foster parents would have made him go to church. But his thoughts seemed to mirror mine.
"Why'd you go?" I ask.
"Well, I had eaten barely anything in that week," Charlie says, "And I thought about how they had communion at church, you know, with the bread and the wine..." It was hard to hear Charlie say this. It reminded me of the first week I was on the run, back when I was that desperate. I didn't like thinking about Charlie like that.
"Anyway," Charlie continued, "I went to a church service. Didn't really listen that much, though. Fellowship was the best. Where they have the homemade cookies and pies. Then I went to one church, where I had to wait through Sunday School before Fellowship. I still didn't pay attention. But, you know me and books. I started flipping through the Bible. I came across a bible verse that really spoke to me," he pulled a piece of crinkly, water-stained paper out of his pocket.
"It was 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. 'We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We do not know what to do, but we do not give up the hope of living. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed,'" Charlie read, but he didn't seem to need the piece of paper, "God spoke to me that day and I realized that God had done a lot for me. He'd breathed life into me. He had protected me from Them. Without Him, I wouldn't be alive. I owed him my life."
"Wow," I say. Charlie's given me a lot to think about.
"When I grow up, I want to give my life back to God. I'm going to be a pastor. Or a missionary. Or both." I nodded and we walked on in silence. Maybe Charlie was right. But what about all those theories? Evolution, and stuff? What about those?

Wow. Thats all I can say. I just finish reading all 7chapters you've posted. You sure can write. You've put action, powers, and a christain theme in one story. I'm a christian and I've read a lot of christian books and very few have ever done what you've done here. Infact i can only think of one.
Bill and Charlie are both great character. I love the way Charlie alway look to Bill to see what they're going to do. Very realistic. My only tiny complaint, and don't get me wrong, I love Bill, is that I think he listens to Charlie alittle too easy. I mean, Bill been on his own for 7 years, he steals stuff on a regular basis and when Charlie suggest, more like tells him they are going to church, Bill is just like, ok. You might want to make him alittle harder to convince and maybe have him throw the fact that he saved Charlies life in his face when Charlie get really stubborn.
Anyway, thank you for writing this. Ther needs to be more storys like this out there.
Can't wait to see what happens next!
~Dragongirl
P.S. are you really only 13?

Just like Dragongirl I've just read your 7 chapters, and I like how you keep them short( as I said ine of my earlier reviews I don't like reading long ones on my pc). The Christian theme(and how Charlie turned to God when he was first hunted) was really neat and just reading this you have amazing skill as a writer(one of the few times I've thought this on the site, and I think the only time I've ever typed it up for a review). The characters Bilbo(using Charlie's name for him) and Charlie are pretty cool too and I think its cool that they've been through the same thing and that kinda helps break the ice between them. Your action themes and such are really good. I think in all of your chapters I've only seen a few grammar mistakes, even those were minor. Your title's good too. I really look forward to reading more of Hunted.

I'm still reading this, don't worry. It's an amazing story. I kind of want to print it out and read it again and again. OR you could get it published. Good Tally, go get the book published...
lol. I'm just kidding. I just read four more chapters of this (4-7) and I'm amazed at your excellent work. I cannot wait to read more. I CAN'T WAIT! POST MORE NOW!!!!!
Keep Writing, (That's a demand, not a requ
Bel

Spiderman here (No, i'm not dead. I've just been away from the computer that I missed a chance to review 4-7).

So i've just finshed reading 4-7. Great as usual. The character go really well together and are realistic. Charlie is always looking up to Bill. oNe thing, I think you should expand on the speed thing. They are fast, but how fast. Can they outrun their pursuers? I like the christian theme you threw into the story to. It's great overall.