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Young Writers Society


The Diamond Fist: Prologue



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39 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 573
Reviews: 39
Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:30 pm
HHemayed says...



Hi!This is excellent!
I think it's a bit long, but I'm no expert.

I didn't notice anything wrong or mysterious, but there's one thing:
(around neck)
I think you ought to say: (around my neck)

Good luck with everything. Keep writing. :D
To be alive is not to breathe, eat or drink. It's your ability to prove your existence.
  








Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting.
— John Green