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The Dalek Doctor - Part 1



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Reviews: 174
Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:38 pm
EliteHusky says...



*The following story takes place after the last episode of Season 4 with David Tennant as the Doctor.
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The Dalek Doctor
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The Doctor steadied the controls on his TARDIS as he glanced up from the series of panels below.

"I can go back in time," he said without emotion, "undo a genocide..."

He backed away slowly clasping his face with both hands. He had witnessed the end of the Daleks, and the genocide of a species.

"You can't," he said to himself, "not now."

Regaining his composure The Doctor strode to the lever that controlled the directional vector for time travel and pushed it forwards.

"Always look ahead," he murmured to himself, before he firmly grabbed on the edge of the control panels.

The TARDIS shook violently as its lights flickered a bright emerald green, blinking on and off, before finally staying on as the violent jerks came to a halt. "Now then," The Doctor said, wiping some sweat of his brow, let's see where I am."

The Doctor exited the machine and soon realized that his surroundings looked strangely familiar. Sunlight filtered down from above as cars honked, their human drivers screamed at each other, and a man wearing a teal cloak slapped him gently on the back.

"Good to see you Doc," he said with a smile.

"Jack!" The Doctor blurted out, pleasantly surprised as they hugged, "and it's The Doctor to you," he added with a smile of his own.

"How exactly did you find me so quickly?" He added as they separated.

"Not out here," Jack replied leading him to a parked Mazda 3 Sport.

"I like the vehicle," The Doctor said with intrigue as he examined the black and coating of the car. "Torchwood, or personal?"

"A bit of both," Jack answered, still bearing a huge grin as he saluted The Doctor. "Here get in," he said as he opened the front doors with a remote he had pulled out of his cloak pocket.

"What?" The Doctor replied curiously, "and leave my Tardis, exposed, all alone in..."

"Toronto," Jack answered. "You're in Canada, and your Tardis is fine, it can fit in the trunk."

The Doctor's face grew expressionless as he followed Jack closer to the rear of the vehicle. "Did you just say my Tardis could fit in the trunk of your car?"

"Yep," Jack replied, as he manually opened the car's trunk.

The Doctor then looked on as Jack awkwardly stuck his right leg inside and to The Doctor's amazement, disappeared as Jack's entire body followed.

"It's bigger on the inside," The Doctor said running to have a peak inside the trunk compartment.

Jack stared up at him, from what appeared to be the bottom of a very large grey rectangle.

"Spatial Compression, with electromagnetic shielding!" The both said simultaneously

"Brilliant!" The Doctor said, as he leaned against the rear, continuing to examine the trunk compartment. It was capable of containing something at least 8-feet tall and 6-feet wide.

"Jack..." The Doctor called out. "Where did you get this technology?"

Jack looked back up as he formed a cone with his hands, "Torchwood, or more specifically, Gwen Cooper found it in a cave on her trip to the Andes, neat huh?"

The Doctor released the car and walked back to his TARDIS.

"If you're still there," Jack called out, "can you toss me some rope...seriously, I'm getting claustrophobic...."

The Doctor entered his TARDIS and glanced towards the monitor situated above the control panels. Green light emanated above him as the screen flickered on he jabbed some buttons. The words 'Date and Location' appeared on the screen. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and waved it slowly pass the monitor. The year 2012 flickered on the screen along with the words, 'Toronto, Canada, Earth.'

The Doctor pocketed his sonic screwdriver as he leaned forwards, bracing himself on the edge pf the circular panel board. "That's going further into the future!" he blurted out sarcastically, "the London Games probably haven't even started yet...hold on...." He pressed down on several more buttons before the month and day appeared on the screen.

"December 17th," The Doctor read out. "I've missed the London Olympics!" He turned around and added to himself, "well actually I was there once, but to the matter." His eyes opened widely as he suddenly realized that Jack needed rope.

Meanwhile, a group of three teenagers were walking past the blue police box. Tommy Stillsberg, a black-haired boy, with chubby cheeks and face riddled with acne, was the presumed leader of this group. Together they were heading towards Eaton Centre when he noticed a black Mazda 3 Sport with it's trunk slung open.

"Ooh, that's a nice car, ain't it now?" he said, glancing at his brother, Stewart and cousin Wayne. They then approached the car, as several others went driving past. It was a busy shopping day today, and surely, Tommy thought to himself, no one would notice a couple of teenagers standing by a car. Especially not when, stores everywhere across the country had announced rock-bottom prices to attract new customers. He then proceeded to rummage through the left pocket on his baggy pair of jeans.

"Be a shame if my keys just happened to brush past," he said to the amusement of the other two, who had also taken out what sharp objects they. He grinned as he scratched the new car with his keys. Immediately the alarm system went off, a shrilling noise filled the air as the front doors closed, along with the trunk.

The Doctor emerged from his TARDIS brandishing a coil of rope in one hand, and his sonic screwdriver between his teeth.

"Hill hom one op ha..." He removed the device from his teeth and held it with his other hand, as he sprinted towards the black car. By now a crowd of onlookers was forming as he approached the trunk. The teenagers quickly fled as he pointed the sonic screwdriver towards the horn. The tip glowed sky blue, as the shrilling noise of the alarm faded away into silence. The Doctor then proceeded to lower his head closer to the trunk. "Jack, are you still inside!"

"Uh, Yeah, I think so," came the reply, barely audible with the closed trunk and numerous people chatting on their mobiles nearby.

"I'm going to try to get you out, okay? Stay calm. You should be perfectly safe, a bit visually impaired in the dark, but safe nonetheless." The Doctor straightened himself as he discreetly positioned the sonic screwdriver towards the truck lock. This time, nothing happened. "Jack!" The Doctor called out leaning his head lower, as he proceeded to further examine the trunk hatch, "do you have a deadbolt lock on the trunk door?"

"Oh yeah..." Jack replied sheepishly, "I forgot about that."

"No problem," replied The Doctor, "I'll just get into the drivers seat and see if there's something to release the locking mechanism, some button perhaps, or lever..."

"There's a green button, next to the radio receiver, if you press that it should release the deadbolt." Jack interrupted, silently thinking 'what a stupid first impression I've made.'

"There's one problem," The Doctor's voice resonated from above, "we're not alone, there are officers coming this way."

"Drive!" Jack called out.

But it was too late. The Doctor was already in the drivers seat and out of earshot, as he set the car into gear and proceeded to drive past a pair two men dressed in police attire. The two men looked at each other quickly before one of them pulled out a transmitter.

"Go contact the witnesses," he said to the other one. "I believe we've just found, and temporarily lost, our suspect."

"But Sergeant, they're only university students, are you sure they didn't just fabricate a story about seeing a blue phone box materialise from nowhere."

"The I suggest you look at that object behind you, and tell me since when did Canada get blue police boxes?" The Sergeant then watched the OPP officer glance at the blue police box behind him, before the officer headed off towards a group of students from the University of Toronto. The Sergeant then pressed the communication button on his transmitter and straightened the tall black hat he was wearing.

"This is Sergeant Frederick Wilson, get CSIS on the line."

Back inside the trunk, Jack Harkness struggled to stay on his feet as The Doctor steered the car past seven shopping plazas, finally deciding to park it in what appeared to be the local Chinatown, several blocks away from his TARDIS. Looking for the radio, The Doctor found a rectangular digital screen that had a green button next it, just like Jack had said. He then proceeded to grab the coil of rope from the seat beside him pushing the green button, unlocking the deadbolt lock, as he exited the car.

"Chinatown," he said, pronouncing every syllable as he strode towards the trunk. "Little China, the Eastern culture in the West, or...the Western culture in the East," he added, as he opened the trunk compartment smoothly.

"Thanks...." Jack happily called out from below, grabbing the length of rope that followed the appearance of light.

A few minutes later Jack's head emerged from the trunk compartment. He have The Doctor a smile, "you're stronger than you look," he added cheerfully. The Doctor's eyes met his. Jack then watched him release the length of rope from his hands.

"I tied the rope to the car bumper for support," The Doctor responded, taking pride in his application of high school physics.

"You're pretty smug about that aren't you?" Jack said jokingly, climbing out of the car's trunk.

The Doctor then observed as Jack then planted both of his feet firmly on the cement-ladened sidewalk. They both smiled at each other for a second until reality set in. The Doctor's face took on a quizzical expression as he said what was going through his mind.

"We're in Chinatown Jack, and my Tardis is near that shopping plaza blocks away."

Jack could tell that The Doctor was worried about his time machine, 'no not worried,' he thought to himself, 'just concerned.' "Like you said, it's blocks away," he went over and gave The Doctor a gently pat on the back as he stared into his piercing dark eyes. "If you're concerned about those officers you saw, following us, I think you lost them based on the number of sirens I can currently hear."

The Doctor smiled weakly, "Jack..." he said as he rotated in a rough circle observing their location, "...if those officers were looking for met, then I have to find them."

"You what!?" Jack said, taking a step back in pure amazement. "Isn't that contradictory to staying low and hidden?"

"Correction my friend," the Doctor said energetically, as he walked over to the entrance of one of the several outdoor fruit markets that populated the landscape. Jack followed not far behind."Has anything strange happened during the last week or so?" he asked Jack stopping abruptly.

"Well compared to London, it's been remarkably for the holiday season."

"Right," said The Doctor as he looked at Jack, then at his car parked on the road. "The snow's missing?" he said suddenly. Running back to the parked vehicle.

"You there!" The Doctor said to an approaching cyclist, raising his head slightly. "What month is it again?"

"It's December," came the man's voice as he slowly passed The Doctor and Jack on his shiny blue bicycle. "Enjoy the sun, that's what I say!" He added, as he disappeared around a corner.

Jack turned around processing the weather condition, he had overlooked since his arrival. "We're in Canada, it's not supposed," he said to the Doctor in a mix of frustration and confusion, "to be bright and sunny, in December!"

"Well the sunlight is common," The Doctor replied, "but the lack of snow isn't." He squatted slightly and proceeded to lick the sidewalk.

"Doctor..." Jack said, suddenly noticing his behaviour.

The Doctor rose to his feet, "do you have Jelly Babies?" he asked Jack as he straightened his collar. "that portion of the sidewalk, has not had a singly drop of moisture touch it's surface in no less than six months."

"Atmospheric disturbance," Jack said looking at The Doctor.

"Exactly," The Doctor replied, "and that's the tip of the iceberg, pardon the expression. Does Canada have an agency that looks after non-terrestrial affairs?"

"You can try Torchwood," Jack said, a little bit offended that The Doctor had not thought of their organisation's expansion right away.

"Yeah, but you guys just arrived in Canada, no offence meant, by the way," The Doctor added.

"Ugh, CSIS might have a division," Jack answered, kicking a stone that just unfortunately happened to hit his own car.

"CSIS!" The Doctor cried out, holding his hair back with his hands, as the car's alarm went off, "The Canadian Security Intelligence Service! Founded in 1984 by an act of Parliament, to replace the RCMP Security Service, brilliant you are!" he exclaimed as he grabbed Jack's forehead and kissed it before taking off in a sprint.

"Where are you going?" Jack called out, turning off the alarm with his remote.

"Back to my Tardis!" The Doctor called out, as he crossed the street. A few cars honked as they braked rapidly.

"Jesus!" Jack shouted, immediately making an apologetic face to an elderly woman strolling by who gave him a sharp look.

The Doctor didn't need to go far before he saw his TARDIS being loaded onto the back of a blue pickup truck.

"Hey!" he called out, as he ran to towards a man heading inside the drivers seat. The man immediately got out and payed the spiky-haired fellow a grim look.

"You calling me?" he asked, brushing some food off of his brown, bushy, moustache.

"Your cargo," The Doctor said taking a breath, "belongs to me."

The driver looked perplexed. "Who that cargo belongs to, is not concern of mine, I am under strict orders," he said, as spittle collided with The Doctor's face, "to transfer that there load, to my customer."

"And who might they be?" Asked The Doctor, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"They," said the driver, releasing another burst of spittle that this time missed The Doctor's face, "are protected by my trucking company's privacy rights, as guaranteed to any transfer, under section twelve of 'Larry's Trucking And Transfer Patrol'."

"Right..." The Doctor said, "but isn't it true that while you operate on Canadian soil, you are operating on Canadian Jurisdiction?"

"Yeah," the driver replied looking at his watch, "but you'd have to be with The Queen or something like CSIS to seize this load." He then turned around and proceeded to climb back into the drivers seat, when The Doctor pulled out his pad of psychic paper.

"Yeah, well," he said, drawing the man's focus on to the small card-sized pad, "I just happen to be with CSIS, and unless you want..."

"Excuse me," a female voice interjected from behind.

The Doctor turned on his heel to face the woman standing a few metres in front of him.

"Smooth," The woman said, slightly impressed.

She was around the age of thirty with long hazelnut hair, tied back in a ponytail, and was dressed in a dark blue suit with a matching skirt. She wore a common pair of eyeglasses and the discomfort on her face suggested that she perceived herself as over-dressed for a sunny day like today - then again, The Doctor himself did not differ much in attire.

"I have to go," the driver said as he closed the door behind him.

"Did I hear you say that you worked at CSIS?" she asked, pushing the pair of glasses closer to her face with her left index finger.

"Yeah," The Doctor said, flashing the pad of psychic paper quickly, glancing backwards as the truck drive off with his TARDIS still secured in the cargo compartment. He turned around, "what's your name?" he asked timidly.

"Elizabeth," the woman replied, as she pulled out her mobile phone.

"Listen Elizabeth," The Doctor said with haste, "I need to follow that truck." He then turned around to run when he felt a firm grip on his right shoulder.

"You'll never catch up to it that way," Elizabeth said as she released his grip. "According my reports from the central database C1-05, that truck should be heading to our Toronto base, and since we're colleagues and all, do you want to come with?"

"That would be fantastic," The Doctor smiled, as he watched her signal a taxi.

The Doctor allowed her to enter the cab first. She shifted closer to her left as The Doctor followed suit. "Have you noticed the lack of snow lately?" he asked, fastening the seat-belt closest to him.

"Tell me about it..." the cab driver said with an accent that seemed almost too familiar.

"Say are you Scottish!" The Doctor cried out placing both arms over the seat in front of him. "If I was in Scotland, this gesture would have been quite rude as the driver usually sits on the right side of the vehicle, but in Canada the driver sits on the right," he said rolling his r's, in an attempt to emphasise his capability to also speak with a Scottish accent.

"Cousin!" the driver side with a hearty laugh, turning up the air-conditioning simultaneously. "So where are you going?"
"Good question," The Doctor said, removing his arms from the back of the chair, as Elizabeth shot him a mixed look of shock and intrigue.

"Um...," she said, realizing the attention had shifted to her. ''Please drive us to Trinity Bellwoods Park," she said firmly, as The Doctor gave her a cheeky smile and the taxi drove off.

At City Hall, a few blocks away from where he had given clearance to CSIS for the blue police box to be towed, Sergeant Fredrick Wilson stood tapping his left foot impatiently in the Mayor's office.

"Can you stop tapping for a second," Mayor Hammerstein said, looking up from his paperwork.

The Sergeant gave a low grunt a she stopped. "Well Mayor, are you going to report this to Prime Minister or should I?"

"The Prime Minster," Mayor Hammerstein started, choosing his words carefully, "has more crucial matters to attend to currently."

The Sergeant repeated his grunt showing disapproval.

"The fact that you have already notified CSIS is enough comfort, I assure you." The Mayor continued. "And we have no proof whatsoever besides a few witnesses to indicate that the blue police box is question, has or still has, any special qualities about it, whatsoever."

The phone rang suddenly. "Yes," the Mayor answered putting it on loudspeaker.

"Mayor Hammerstein, this is Gloria Whiteflower, MP for High Park - Parkdale, just calling to confirm whether Bill 504 is still being sent to the House of Commons," a woman's voice resonated from the blue speakers.

"Yes, yes." The Mayor hastily replied, quickly glancing up to the Sargent's age-worn face. "All is going ahead as planned and please hold bare with me for a second," he said, stifling the speakers with his left hand.

"I take it our conversation is over Mayor," The Sargent said quietly, turning around to exit.

"If you receive any more updates from CSIS, by all means feel free to keep me informed," the Mayor shouted across his desk. "Now then, where were we...?" he said, continuing with his call as the Sargent closed the door gently behind him.

"Do you want the air-conditioning on higher?" the driver said, maintaining his focus on the road ahead.

"Sure! Why not?" The Doctor replied cheerily. He turned to look out the back window.

"Just more cars..." he said, turning around.

"So Elizabeth," he continued as the driver tapped a panel of keys on the dashboard, triggering the release of a cool gust of breeze into the cab's interior.

"What?" Elizabeth asked, noticing that The Doctor was still transfixed on the glowing green panel.

"Quick quiz," he said, looking back at her with a gaze that held her mesmerized. "Do you know what the model of this car is?" he said, gently biting his lips.

"How should I know?" she exclaimed.

"Well you are a..."he stopped, remembering that the driver was still there.

"What's your name?" he asked, turning to the driver.

"Kiron," answered the Scotsman.

"Well Kiron," The Doctor said quietly, "can you shed some light on what car you're driving?"

"It's a new New Ford make," the driver answered, briefly glancing at The Doctor before braking at a red light.

"Why?" he asked, stepping on the gas pedal again.

"Oh, no reason..." The Doctor trailed off.

"So what is your name Mr. Man with all the questions?" Elizabeth asked. "You showed me your pass so quickly all I saw was, 'Doctor'".

"It's The Doctor," he replied as he glanced at Kiron's extra mirror situated on the dashboard.

"Just, The Doctor?" she said with disbelief.

"Yep," he said, noticing the reflection of a black Mazda 3 trailing the cab.

"I don't believe you," Elizabeth said quietly as she stared as his face.

"He looks like a Doctor," Kiron blurted out, to the surprise of both The Doctor and Elizabeth.

"Thanks Kiron," The Doctor replied, as he turned around to get a clearer view of what was behind the taxi. The black car was no longer visible.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked curiously.

"Oh yeah," The Doctor said smoothly, turning back around.

Elizabeth reached into the breast pocket of her uniform and pulled out a piece of gum.
"Here," she said kindly, offering The Doctor the wrapped confectionary. "It will help your nerves. Go on!" she implored.

"Thank you," The Doctor said politely. He gently took the small sweet from her outstretched hand. Opening the bright blue wrapper, he carefully slid the stick of gum into his mouth pocketing the small piece of paper.

"You are the strangest man I have ever met." Elizabeth said with astonishment, as the cab arrived at a lush green park.

"Trinity Bellwoods Park," Kiron said firmly, turning around as the cab came to decisive halt.

"And how much is the trip?" Elizabeth asked. She pulled out her credit card from the same pocket she had taken the piece of gum.

The Doctor watched as Kiron reached for the card, only to drop it instantly as for a brief moment, a bright blue spark emerged.

"Ow!" Kiron exclaimed, blowing his fingers furiously. "What the hell was that!"

"Static electricity," The Doctor said with interest. "Yet it doesn't usually result in such a bug reaction. Something's not right."

Kiron bent down and picked up the card from floor of his taxi. He scanned it in the fare calculator before reaching out to return it.

Elizabeth stretch out her right arm to receive the card but The Doctor's left hand grabbed it first.

"Yikes!" he screamed tossing the card to a shocked Elizabeth. "That does hurt!" he said loudly, as he examined his hand. There was no visible mark, but it fell like he had just lost a few hundred, if not million, skin cells.

"Atmospheric disturbance" he continued, as he tested each finger to make sure that they could still move. "Must be...."

The Doctor then opened the passenger door to his right and exited the cab. He glanced up at the storm clouds above.

"Well there's the reason for our little shock," she said smiling.

"It wasn't little if you ask me," Kiron muttered, allowing Elizabeth to exit before his turned to face The Doctor. "You lot stay safe, you hear?"

"Drive safely!" The Doctor replied. Kiron then turned up the car radio and drove off. Elizabeth walked towards him.

"Wasn't it just sunny, right before we entered the taxi! Surely the ride couldn't have been that long?"

"No..." The Doctor said in agreement. He paced back and forth repeatedly, finally stopping a few metres from Elizabeth. He glanced up at the sky again. A flash of lightning momentarily lit up the edges of some cumulous clouds, then something caught his attention. Something had twinkled in the sky above but as the sky resumed it's dark grey complexion, the source of that twinkle disappeared into darkness.

"Come on," Elizabeth shouted. She forcefully grabbed The Doctor by the arm and pulled him towards a fountain. It was in the shape of the CN Tower, the largest skyscraper in Canada, and not too long ago the largest on Earth. The smaller version was about 4 feet high and was made from marble. Water circles around the circular base that held the tower in place.

"What are you doing?" The Doctor asked, eager to be released. He then silently began calculating all the possible answers she could give him.

Elizabeth' glared at him, "Haven't you heard that a park is the most dangerous place to be in a thunderstorm," she shouted over the rumbling noise of thunder above.

"Number four," The Doctor muttered to himself, "and technically, it's not so much of a thunderstorm as a lightning or electron festival in the sky seeking active participants."

"Come on we can use this entrance," Elizabeth said gesturing at the fountain.

"I beg your pardon," The Doctor said as he took a few steps closer, "entrance to where?" Rain started to hit the ground. He felt each drop on his exposed skin. The impact alone felt cold and somewhat pleasurable. He then looked at Elizabeth who was just staring at him. She had removed her silver-framed glasses, possible because of the amount of rain that was now falling, but The Doctor was still savouring the moment as he stood looking up at the sky.

"Rain!" he shouted as he stretched both of his arms out. "I've missed you," he added, smiling as he continued to look up.

"You daft or what!?" Elizabeth shouted. The Doctor suddenly dropped his arms and looked at her. She had placed both of her hands on her hips and seemed very angry. "This one of the entrances to CSIS headquarters in Toronto," she explained, turning around. The Doctor walked closer as Elizabeth stepped into the fountain, noticing that one of her black high-heel shoes had slipped off before she had both feet firmly planted in the pool of water.

The Doctor ran over and swooped the shoe up gracefully with his right hand. "Here," he said handing it to her.

"Thanks," Elizabeth muttered, wondering for a second what to do with the shoe

The Doctor watched as she placed it on the opposite side of the sculpture. He then continued to observe as she returned to her position and crossed her arms, giving him a look of expectancy.
"This is the first time you've been here, isn’t it?" she blurted out suddenly, raising an arm to her forehead. All he could do was stare at her. He then lowered his head, maintaining distinct eye contact.

"You have to place your feet where that shoe is," Elizabeth continued, "otherwise the drainage system won't activate because it will just mistake you for a child playing in the fountain. Trust me I know," she concluded.

"Sounds plausible," he said.

The Doctor walked up to the fountain. He slowly placed his left foot inside first when a though struck him.

"You know, I think this could be more dangerous then standing next to a tree."

Elizabeth glared at him menacingly. "The hurry up Doctor"

"You called me Doctor!" he exclaimed, lowering his other leg inside. He then Manoeuvre in the knee-high level of clear water to where the shoe had been placed. He continued to approach the rear of the statue when a loud shockwave of sound blasted from the sky. Something had exploded. The Doctor quickly rifled though his various pockets until he found his glasses and placed them on his face.

"Would you look at that?" he said, staring up. He glanced quickly towards Elizabeth who was just as surprised as he was.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly.

The Doctor positioned himself as continued to look up at the fireball falling from the sky so that the shoe was between both of his legs.

"Based on my estimations of size, heat, and the amount fire being expelled from that object, I haven't the slightest clue." He confessed, his face beaming.

Elizabeth continued to look up at the trail of smoke that was beginning to become increasing longer as the object continued to fall. Suddenly the scenery around them changed. The had plummeted rapidly. The knee-high level of water was draining quickly and they could feel the ground beneath their feet descend like an elevator. For a few seconds The Doctor stared at the pitch-black colour of wall ties that held this shaft together. Then light emerged, slowly from their feet the rising higher as the transport system came to a halt in a dimly lit room.

White light filtered down from a fluorescent tube that clung to the ceiling of a grey bunker. The hole in the ceiling they had emerged from began to close as several sheets of metal grinded to slowly together to form an perfect circle.

The Doctor followed Elizabeth as she stepped off the lift. It was still slightly raised telling him that this was probably the final floor. He crouched down and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. The blue light emanated from the tip of the mechanical device as a buzzing appeared briefly.

"What's that?" Elizabeth asked as she turned around and approached The Doctor.

"Just a screwdriver," he said, examining the gear work that made the operation of the lift feasible. "Oh would you look at that!" he added to Elizabeth who came closer. He pointed to two black boxes underneath that were stationed between the high-heel show that still remained on top.

"Sensors," Elizabeth whispered.

"Not just any sensors," The Doctor interrupted. "I've only seen this make and model once before, and believe me, it's not of human origin.”

“So it’s alien technology?” Elizabeth said, breaking out into a smile.

“Hey don’t ridicule the idea!” The Doctor explained, “You lot should be happy aliens would want to make contact with you at all.”

“What are you saying then?” She asked as she walked around the lift. “And why is this still here?”

The Doctor looked up at her, stopping his sonic screwdriver and pocketing it safely.

“I mean,” she continued, “look, the statue of the CN Tower is still attached! It should have gone up before the ceiling sealed itself.”

“Ooh, good question!” The Doctor praised, as he scratched his head briefly. Elizabeth swept her shoe back up and placed her foot back inside it as The Doctor continued to examine the room.

“As far as we know, there are two exits.” He said pacing in front of Elizabeth.

“Can you stop that please, you’re giving me indigestion.”

“What!?” The Doctor said before pocketing his glasses.
“Anyways,” he continued coming to a halt. “The first exit is the ceiling that has currently been prematurely sealed off.” Elizabeth observed as The Doctor’s eyes then widened.

“Sealed off!” she shouted pulling his sonic screwdriver again.

Elizabeth walked towards the second exit he was referring to.

“Um, can’t we just use the door?” she said, watching him point the device at the ceiling. The buzzing sound momentarily became audible before he silenced it. They both stared up as the ceiling opened. Slowly and simultaneously the lift began to rise until all they could see was the bottom. Instantly The Doctor’s grin wore off.

“Patented by Bad Wolf Corp.,” he read out silently to himself before running towards Elizabeth.

“So you were saying?” he said, his voice becoming increasingly less cheerful.

“Doctor,” she answered carefully, “follow me.”
Last edited by EliteHusky on Tue Jul 28, 2009 6:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:53 pm
defendthelegend says...



Oh my god

I love doctor who.
and that was truly amazing
i could totally imagine it
the whole thing
but then liking the program helped
it don't think it necisarily has to be david tennent it would work well with any doctor
buut david would be the best

very good technical knowledge

loved it
well done
I wrote your name in the sand and the sea washed it away! I wrote your name in my heart and there it will stay.
  





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Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:58 am
Twit says...



O_O

First off, this was incredibly, incredibly long. Split it up into shorter parts -- a lot, lot shorter. As it is, it's far too long and very off-putting to read. I couldn't get into it and had to skim-read chunks because there's just so much of it.

The length aside, I thought your writing style was good, but I didn't a feel for the characters at all. The Doctor is such a strong character, each regeneration so different, that if you don't nail it, it doesn't work. And for the Tenth, this was rather boring. His dialogue didn't fit; there weren't any of the eccentricities that he uses, or the metaphors and the mad babble or the attempted-simple-explanations-of-really-complicated-and-technical-procedures-that-only-make-it-all-the-more-difficult-to-understand. Same with Jack -- you didn't get his dialogue in character.

Also:

Regaining his composure The Doctor strode to the lever that controlled the directional vector for time travel and pushed it forwards.


It shouldn't be "The Doctor" but "the Doctor".

Sometimes you wrote TARDIS as Tardis; as it's one of those words that stand for a long string of words (acronym?), you need it to be capitalised.


The TARDIS shook violently as it's lights flickered a bright emerald green, blinking on and off, before finally staying on as the violent jerks came to a halt. "Now then," The Doctor said, wiping some sweat of his brow, let's see where I am."


Here you spelt TARDIS right, the Doctor wrong, and used the wrong it. It's = it is. You need the other one, "its".

~

PM me if you have any questions!
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this."


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Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:13 pm
mtempleton says...



Wooster's right, it was so long. I did love it, but because of the length, I'm not going to go into everything. I did notice a few typos and errors in grammar, so maybe proof read it one more time.

My nitpicks would be that sometimes you said TARDIS and sometimes Tardis.

I thought that there was too much dialogue, and this affected the pace. I would also have liked to see more description as far as the setting goes.

An absolute nitpick - I'm from scotland, we say boot instead of trunk, so I guess that Jack would say trunk and the doctor would say boot.

And how soon after the end of series 4 is this? because if its straight after, I would have thought the Doctor woudl have been pretty torn over Donna...


Anyway, the fun stuff.

I really loved it. Your style is great. Its generally fwell written and I could genuinely hear the cahracters as I was reading it. I loved how you worked in some of the technical stuff from the series while still adding your own idead (the idea of Jack with a Mazda for instance is pretty cool).

You write more, Ill review some more.

m
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Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:29 pm
Dr. Who says...



First of all, let me congratulate you sir on a fine choice of subject on which to write about. I have been searching for a long time for a website that carried Doctor Who fan fiction. So, thank you. As many before me have said, this was rather long and sometimes a bit of a pain to read. However, might I add that you did a superb job in capturing the Doctor's character. (BTW: Tennant is my favorite Doctor too). now about the subject of grammar. The T.A.R.D.I.S. is a tough call. I actually had to look this one up as I was not sure exactly how this should go. Preferably it should be capitalized with the periods between the letters (as it is an acronym). However, it has also been known to be spelled Tardis, but only by those who don't realize that it is an acronym.
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Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:14 pm
midnightread says...



Hi EliteHusky
I really like it. I think that you have a real talent for writing as the Doctor. I only saw a few problems and those could be sorted out easily if you re-read the post.
I like it that Jack is back and that the Doctor is yet again lying about who he is.
midnightread :elephant:
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Growing up is optional.


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It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language
— Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey