Young Writers Society

I hate being sick. It makes me feel helpless, and I don’t want to die.
Memories keep swirling through my head. I'll try to keep them in order.

Night, and I'm feeling worn out. I punch in a number and wait. Merren's lively voice greets me.

"Hello, Azure! It's a beautiful evening."

"Shut up," I snap at him. "I need to tell you something. There's a girl I met, Kim Peters. I told her about myself.
You know."

"Did she believe you?"

"Not at first, but she does now. I don't know why I told her; I just felt I could trust her."

"It's all right. I'll tell the others. For now, don't tell her anything more. It might not be safe."

"I know," I said just before I hung up.

About two minutes later, the phone rang. Of course it was Kim. "Hello," I said with false cheer.

"Hi. I was looking through your file just now. Nothing personal, but you know, I was curious. Did you really spend two years in an orphanage?"

"Like heck I did! Listen, next time you want to know, ask me. I'm kind of busy right now."

"Sure, whatever. You can trust me, Carl." She left her number and hung up.

"Darn," I muttered.

The next day was overcast. I put on a faded red jacket over my jeans. It was supposed to be chilly all day long.

I saw a note poking out from under the mat.



"Heck with it." I dialed her number and waited.

"Kim Peters speaking. Who's there?"

"I'll give you three guesses."

"Carl!"

"Right first time! I got your note, and we're still friends. Come on over after school, ok?"

"Yeah, I'll come. Hey, listen, I have a friend who's interested in dragons. Can I tell her about you?"

"No, don't tell anyone. You promised. Besides, I doubt your friend would be any help."

She reluctantly agreed. "It's time to go. See you."

"Yeah," I replied.

We met on the corner of Ninth and Earth, but neither spoke. It was like a barrier had been drawn between us.

School was the usual drag. I got through with only half my attention.The rest was focused on the question of what, if anything, to tell Kim about the others.

The bell rang. I gathered my things and stepped out into the hall. As I walked, I noticed a piece of paper taped to a locker.

Dear Dragon Boy,
I heard all about you.Rest assured, though, I won't tell anyone. Meet me at the Borderland cafe
tomorrow at noon.
Jude Piper

I swore and tossed the note in the trash. Now what was in store?

"Are you all right?" Kim asked when she saw me.

"Someone heard you and me talking. He wants to meet me at the Borderland tomorrow."

"Does this 'someone' have a name?"

"Jude Piper," I reeled off the name. "Is he in any of your classes?"

She fiddled with her ponytail as she answered. "I think I recall him being in my World History class. He's about yea high"- hands spread apart- "stocky, with blond hair streaked brown."

I nodded. "Yes, I think I've seen him. What do you think I should do?"

"That's your call, but I'm going with you. This is my problem, too."

I just frowned and didn't answer.

Okay I liked how you put across the point that when someone, even a friend, knows a secret about the other, things get awkward, but you are still skipping from incident to incident.

Try and read over your work before you post it and I'm sure you'll see what I mean.

Also, consider the stucture of your piece, as when notes have bee written, they are usually set out in a different type, such as bold or italics, to make them stand out from the description the main character is given and also entice and capture the attention of the reader.

Other than that though, I liked this, 'cause it gave an insight into what happens when you tell someone a secret. Writing more? Try not to rush through the plot on the next.

=]

Ok. Could I place this in my blog? So far I just wrote as it came to me. Thanks for the advice, and keep reading.

*Moved to Fantasy Fiction*