Young Writers Society

Elemental Cycle: Volume 1- Fireborn

This novel is now being posted in a single thread. See below for the link.

post717826.html#p717826

Hey they Sylver, I'm back for the 3rd part!

The power of a Siren's Song wasn't what it was in the Age of Magic, but if everyone else was asleep he and Adri should be unconscious to.

too

Kei swore under his breath. Of course the gate was open, they had left someone to guard just in case. "I was overconfident. I'm such a fool."

was that something he said out loud? If yes, it's really weird to have him say that. If not, if it's a thought, it should be in italics.

Yurara watched the puzzling young men too, but it was curiosity that stirred her, not fear. "Who are you two, to stay awake when a Siren compels you to sleep?" She thought. "Who are you? What are you?" In the predawn light there was no answer.

Again, her thoughts should be in italics.

Well, Sylver, those were the nitpicks I had. I thought this was quite brilliant! You threw us into the action rapidly and you've obviously got a good grasp on your characters and this world you've created. I really enjoyed reading this.

Please let me know when you post more?

Tanya