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Young Writers Society


TITLE COMING SOON - Chapter 2 Part 2



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Gender: None specified
Points: 989
Reviews: 10
Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:55 am
inthebeginning says...



“A vampire hunter? You’re kidding right.” Despite the circumstances I couldn’t help but laugh. This guy, Rowan as he said his name was, clearly was delusional. There were no such things as vampire hunters. Humans were unaware of vampires as far as I knew.

Despite my certainty that this was impossible. One thought kept circling through my mind; he was inhumanly fast yet had strong human emotions – I’d seen that in his eyes. Which meant he was neither vampire nor human; could there be a middle ground somewhere?

“Perhaps I should change my question to a more accurate one,” I said, my eyes never wavering from his. “What are you?”

His brows furrowed, making him look older and more mature. It was almost as if he was deeply contemplating the answer to my question. After several seconds he seemed to decide his answer and looked back up at me. “Why don’t we start off with a little more about you, and then perhaps you will learn about me.”

“You may as well kill me now and have it over and done with. I’m not going to tell you anything.” It may have been a bit over dramatic, but I meant every word of it. If Matt had managed to refuse to answer his questions then so could I.

Rowan appeared to have been expecting this, and the sadistic smile reappeared on his. “You know as well as I do that you don’t have to agree to it. I am more than capable of dragging your memories out…” He motioned his arm in a circle, to emphasise his point.

My calm exterior faltered for a moment as I considered his words. There was no way he could know about the scars and what they meant. Very few vampires knew what they were, and those that did would gladly die before telling anyone else.

“You can try.” I tried to keep the fear from my voice, convincing myself that there was no way he knew anything.

Rather than replying though, he walked behind the chair that I was trapped in. He leant down behind me, his long, black hair brushing against my shoulder.

“Oh I will,” His breath was warm on my shoulder as he moved his hand towards my shoulder blade. My heart rate quickened as his fingers moved down my arm, slowly removing the top of my shirt to expose the remainder of my neck.

It felt almost as if my skin were on fire where his fingers lightly brushed the two small holes on the left hand side of my neck. I could hear his breath coming in quick bursts as he reached into his back pocket.

Those two holes are the only scars any vampire has. They are a constant reminder of what happened to us, and contain every memory we’ve ever had since our transformation.

They are very valuable, and those vampires that know their true powers will do everything possible to protect them. If a human was to discover the secrets we kept in our scars, then it would almost definitely mean the downfall of our race.

I was brought back to reality as I felt a sharp pain in my wrist. Rowan had made a small cut in my wrist with a knife, and was now doing his best to collect the blood into a small cup. It was difficult because as fast as he made the cut it would heal over.

After several attempts he seemed happy with the amount of blood he had withdrawn and he put the knife back in his pocket. He seemed to consider something for a moment, before speaking.

“I’m going to give you one last chance to agree to answer my questions. Just keep in mind that even if you say no, I will get what I want. I always do.”

I glared at him with pure hatred, tossing up my two options. If I agreed to tell him what he wanted to know, then he would only know that which I let him. If I said no, then he would get all the information he wanted and more.

As much as I hated the thought I decided that my best choice was to agree to tell him what he wanted. It occurred to me that he might still siphon through my memories, but it was a risk I had to take.

“What do you want to know?” I asked, already regretting my decision.

***

“Let’s start off with your name and when you were born. Your real name,” he added on the end as he saw a questioning look cross my face.

A picture of my mother flashed through my mind and I felt a pang of regret. She and I were different in every single way. Where I had long dark brown hair, hers had been blonde and cut short. Where I was quick to temper she had always been patient. Even after 570 years I still missed her.

“I was given the name Elinor Golde by my mother in 1423,” I replied, forcing back the memories that threatened to unravel my calm exterior.

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my last answer. “Tell me about Matt, how did you two come to be together?”

My eyes shifted to the lifeless body still hanging from the ceiling and I felt a wave of grief roll over me. I looked back up into the bright green eyes of Rowan, and I felt some of my hatred dissolve. There was something about him that made me feel…safe. Ironic, really, considering he hunted my kind.

“That’s an awfully long story.” I replied dryly, hoping he would move onto a different question.

“I’ve got plenty of time.” Was all he said as he dragged a chair from the back corner of the room and sat facing me. He held up a bottle of blood, and the pain in my throat flared up again as I realised how hungry I was.

“How long have I been here?” I asked.

“I kept you unconscious for just over two days. I didn’t want you to be awake when I questioned Matt.” He said matter-of-factly as he placed the bottle on the floor between the two of us. “So, I’ll ask again, what’s the story behind you and Matt?”

I nodded at him, and let my memory take me back to the night 430 years ago when I had first met Matt.
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 517
Reviews: 34
Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:38 pm
kasimkaey says...



Before I say anything else, I guess I should tell you that I haven't even read the other parts to your story so this is me only commenting on this one section.

That said, wow. Just wow. I love the idea of the scars holding every vampires memories since they were transformed although this did raise the question of how she managed to remember her mother? Because of the whole her being a vampire thing? But it's not a major issue.

I guess the only qualm I had with it was the vampire hunter - he's described as being almost unhuman in the way that you say he's fast and strong? So is he human or a special kind of human that hunt vampires? And how did he manage to capture them both? :/ But I guess these questions would be answered if I read the other parts.

Otherwise, I liked it. Honestly. The only other vampire books I have read are Twilight and Dracula and while no one can be better than the latter, everyone can be than the former and you certainly did. This vampire girl seems a little more kick ass than Bella and I commend you on that ;)

I'll be sure to see if I can read the other parts of this but good job :)

Kasim.
  








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