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Game On (Level 7)



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Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:53 pm
Gamergirl says...



Game On
Level 7 : Tournament


Spoiler! :
So I found this part a little weird to write as I changed character. Just letting people know is all!


The twins left while myself and Abbie asked if we could stay for a couple of moments. Axile and the twins nodded then walked away.

"So, o' powerful one, any ideas on what this last level is?" I said, using the wall to support my back.

"What about this evil Ashi talked aboot?" Abbie coughed while her fake accent started to die out. "Damn my voice!"

"Then stop doing it," I said, grinning.

"Weren't you the one to suggest me doing the accent?" Abbie said.

That was true. I had told Abbie that it was best if she could talk with an accent, while saying the words properly.

"I know." I stood up rightly. "But we're not in America anymore, are we?" I raised one eyebrow.

"True..." she said, rubbing her chin.

After a moments thought, Abbie then agreed to start putting back on her old voice. She tired a few phrases, just to get back into it, then we left.

Indeed, Ashi was waiting outside for us. He smiled then lead us, along with the twins, to the arena. It was a circular building and in the center was wooden fencing. Dried blood could be seen, I looked at Abbie who's face had gone pale.

"This is where the battle shall commence shortly," said Ashi. "Find yourselves seats. I will see you later."

The building was starting to get quite full in just a short time. Brown bleachers were posted all around the room, along with a few thorne's near the center. Ashi sat next to Mama on two of the thrones. While we found seats closest to the center.

After the seats were filled up a short looking man came into the center of the ring.

"If this is Scarlet, then no wonder Bal's winnin'," laughed Abbie.

"People of Ourium!" bellowed the man. "Thank you all for coming! I shan't waste your time by talking so much! So lets get started!"

When the man had finished an uproar of people began clapping their hands and yelling as loud as they could. Me and Abbie were the only two sitting looking lost.

Then, at the west side of the building, a gate was opend and outcome Bal. His face looked nervous yet he kept a smile on his face. He then stood next to his mother and uncle. Ashi rose from his seat causing everyone to hush.

"I am glad so many have supported my nephew!" yelled Ashi. "I am happy to announce that the marriage of Prince Bal and Princess Crodela shall happen next Spring!"

Everyone cheered while Crodela stood from her throne - which had been lower down from Ashi's - took Bal's hand and kissed him.

"Jay-" Abbie tried to tell me something, but I couldn't hear her.

"What-"

Suddenly the crowed manged to get even louder. That's when I started to feel weak. My skin had gone transparent and hands started to shake.

You'll be okay, Jay, I heard the woman's voice again and felt, somewhat, more calmer.

Bal had gotten into the center while his opponent joined him.

Scarlet was his name. Indeed, he looked menacing, his face had a smirk on his lips as he eyed up his prey. His hair was long, longer than most men's, he had a mean looking face that seemed to be set to never ending scowl. He looked at Bal as if he was just a piece of meat, nothing too big of a challenge. Yet Bal made it this far, he must have had a good fighting strategy.

The crowd went silent for a second. Then the banging of a drum signaled the commencing of the battle. Bal was first to move. Yelling, he brought back his fist and struck Scarlet's jaw. Scarlet staggered back a little. Bal, looking somewhat pleased with himself, smirked then went for another punch. Again he manged to strike Scarlets face. He did so many more times until Scarlet began to bleed.

"Somethings not right," I had to yell in Abbie's ear.

"I know," she yelled back.

Bal went in for another punch. Scarlet grabbed his fist mid-way. He then easily tossed Bal across the ring. A smirk creeped onto his face. Abbie got up on her feet, trying to get a better look.

Bal quickly scrambled to his feet then feebly tried to block Scarlets punches. They came at him hard and fast. Many people cheered and booed, even Abbie and myself got into the spirit of things.

"Come on, Bal!" we both yelled at the top of our lungs. "You can do it!"

Yet, we knew he couldn't...

The battle had been neck and neck for a while, however it did show Bal was becoming weaker by the second. He wasn't reacting as quick and couldn't get many punches in. Bal tried again to get a good punch yet Scarlet moved his body to the side. He grabbed Bal's arm then kneed his stomach. Blood spurted from Bal's mouth like a mini fountain.

"He's not gonna make it," Abbie panicked. "Fuckin' hell Bal! Fight 'im!"

"Ba-al! Ba-al! Ba-al!" the crowd started to cheer with most of their might.

Abbie and I started to stamp our feet in time with the chanting. Sure enough, there were also people chanting for Scarlet. Yes, because of our cheering Bal lasted a little longer however after around ten minutes, Scarlet gave the last punch. Bal swiveled his body a little then hit the floor.

"Boo!" Abbie and myself - along with most of Bal's supporters - hissed as loud as we could.

The short man sprigged into the ring and held up Scarlets had.

"What an intense fight everyone!" he yelled. "And the winner is Scarlet!"

A smile was on the evil mans face. People were checking over Bal, making sure that nothing serious was hurt. The twins moved themselves down the bleachers. Abbie stood up about to follow them but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.

"What were you saying?"

"It's aboot Crodela."

"What about her?" I asked.

Abbie rubbed her chin. "It wis like...I saw 'er 'art. That make any sense?"

I shook my head and was about to ask an other question when Ashi started to speak.

"My people! I thank you all for coming to today's event! But, seeing as we have celebrated one importance this morning! I would like to introduce another!" Ashi yelled looking around the arena.

"Wonder what he's talking about?" I whispered to Abbie.

"You all know that I was blessed with the high powers of the First, Third!"

Me and Abbie looked at each other.

"You all know of the late king, my father, and his journey around the galaxy to find other high beings such as myself!" Ashi spoke. "His efforts seem fruitless, we all thought the legend of the Three was just a myth. And that I was only lucky I got powers. However in recent times I have found them!" Gasps and mumering were muttered. Myself and Abbie thought about running for the hills.

"Abbie, Jay! Come down here!"

Ashi pointed at us and two guards, that were stationed not far from us, came and escorted us down to the thrones. Nervous, Abbie grabbed my sleeve and gave me a half smile. I gave her a reassuring look and she let go.

We stood either side of Ashi, looking up at the crowd.

"Jay! The Second, Third! Abbie! The Third, Third!" Ashi yelled. "Please my people! Wish us well!"

An uproar of cheering made my ears pound. Everything was...overwhelming.

After the crowd stopped cheering, many people made their way out the arena. Abbie and myself went to see how Bal was.

"I'm fine!" he smiled, whilst sitting down and winching every time Conie touched a red mark. "Okay...I'm not fine."

"Ah'll say. Ya look like crap!"

Way too go Abbie and her great way of being sensitive!

"That guy looked pretty tough. I'm glad you did your best," I said trying to make Bal feel better.

"I would never have been able to beat him anyway. He's been the best fighter in The galaxy! A skinny body like mine could never stand a chance," Bal laughed.

As if someone put the lights out, a shadow dropped on my back. I turned to see Scarlet. His face smirking and arms crossed.
"Is the glass half empty? Or half full?"

"Well, if I turn on the tap I can make it full!" ~ me.
  





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Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:30 pm
Benrobertringrose says...



Hello,

Wow, I don’t have a lot of criticism on that piece. I can draw a lot of comparisons on a popular book I read recently called the hunger games? I love this genre and was very impressed with this! I think I'll read the other chapters now! Ha. Oh something that I particularly liked was the description of the fight, it gave me a strong visual in my head, :)

Cheers Ben
  





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Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:16 pm
TheClosetKidnapper says...



This is a great piece you've got here. I agree with Ben about how there isn't much to critique and how the description of the fight was vivid. But when Jay is asking Abbie what she had to say about Crodela and Abbie answers with "It wis like...I saw 'er 'art. That make any sense?" I was a little confused. Was this sentence meant to be mispronounced because of the accent? One more thing, when the crowd is cheering for the twins I think you can add a little more to smoothen the transition between that and when they go to see Bal. How are they feeling about being cheered? What are they thinking? What is their overall reaction? Other than that, great job! :D Hope this helps!
I'm never what I like
I'm double sided
And I just can't hide
I kind of like it
When I make you cry
'Cause I'm twisted up, twisted up
Inside

Semiautomatic
twenty one pilots
  








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