Chapter Seven
I wiped a tear away from my eye as I ate a bowl of warm soup for supper the next day. The soup tasted thin and old, and unlike in Sherwood Forest, I didn’t have mead to wash it down. My mother and I didn’t speak as we ate; we just sat in silence, sipping our soup silently.
A knock at the door took us away from our meal. “Oh, must be the sheriff,” she said, standing up and walking to the door. I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling that it had barely grown in the past few days. I stood up quickly and rushed to my bedroom. I reached for an old ragged cloak and threw it on, pulling the hood over my head, covering my horribly cut hair.
My heart raced as I walked out of the room and heard the sheriff’s voice. “Ivy! Where have you been? Who took you?” Questions flew out of his mouth faster than the wind. I bit my lip as I heard the sounds of his footsteps coming towards me and he put his hands on my shoulders.
“No, no one took me,” I stuttered slightly. “I went for a, a ride in the wood one day and well, I got lost.”
“And how did you survive without food for that long?”
I thought about it for a moment before I lied. “Well, some men found me and gave me food. It was enough food to last for a while, I came home with some too and we ate it for breakfast this morning,” I said. “Didn’t we mother?”
“Wait?” I turned to where she was standing and gave a small nod before she responded with the answer I needed to hear. “Oh yes, we did.”
“Did the men tell you their names at all?”
I shook my head. “Why?”
“They could have been outlaws. They could have poisoned all of you. They are dangerous, foul people. You should stay away from the woods for a while Ivy. You never know when one of those outlaws will jump out and do something bad to you.”
“I appreciate your concern sheriff, but I’m a big girl. I think I can handle myself,” I said. “Now I must go check on Nightshade.” I walked past him and began walking out the door when he stopped me.
“Ivy, you have a disadvantage. Your blindness makes everything more dangerous, I just want to offer you my protec-”
“I assure you I will be fine sheriff,” I said and left the house and went back into the stables, to find Nightshade and the horse I had ridden home the night before tied near each other. I put my face to the horse who I had ridden home on. He smelled like the forest, he smelled like the place I had finally felt that I had really belonged in. I could almost hear the sound of Robin’s voice in tune with the horse’s heartbeat that was drumming slightly.
“Alms for the poor, alms for the poor,” he was saying. Strange, why would I imagine him saying that? I pulled away from the horse, expecting the memories to disappear, but the sound of his voice only grew louder.
I walked out of the stable, a rush of wind coming for me. It carried the sound of Robin’s voice to my ears, making my heart leap with excitement, with fear. The wind forced my hood of slightly but I kept the hood of the cloak firmly over my head as I heard soft footsteps approaching and his voice right next to me.
“Robin?” I whispered his name breathlessly. I heard the footsteps stop and turn towards me. I breathed in slowly, my heart racing. “Is that you?”
“Ail…” he stopped. “Wait, Ivy?”
I nodded. “Do you remember me?”
“How could I forget…” I could feel his eyes tracing over my features and glancing up at my hood. We stood there in silence for a moment, my heart banging against my chest so loudly I was sure he could hear it. “Excuse me,” he finally broke the silence. “But do you know anyone named Ailwin?”
I felt my lip tremble and I quickly bit it, nodding.
“Do you know where I can find him?”
I wanted to cry, I wanted to just pour out everything to him. I wanted to show him that I was Ailwin, I was the one he had told about his sad past. I was the one who he had trusted, who had messed everything up. “I haven’t,” I paused and took in a deep breath, closing my eyes. “I haven’t seen him in a while, but if you want me to give him a message.” I quickly added, “If you want me to of course.”
“No, its okay,” he said and turned away from me. I felt my heart sink. Should I tell him and let him tell me himself? Would he still let me be with him in Sherwood Forest? Of course not, I thought. I messed everything up and left. If he found out I was Ailwin…He wouldn’t ever trust me again.
I nodded slowly. “I better be going, I have to check how everything is with my mother.” I began walking but he quickly stopped me. My hand trembled as he grabbed it, his fingers grasping gently. Tears came to my eyes as I turned around, wishing I could just look him in the eyes and tell him the truth. But I couldn’t, it was an unfair disadvantage of being blind, I couldn’t look anyone in the eyes.
“Just tell him, that we’re, no.” He swallowed, clearing his mouth. “Tell him that I’m sorry. Can you do that for me Ivy?”
I nodded in response and felt the tears prick my eyes, threatening to flow. I quickly blinked them back and turned, making Robin let go of my hand. The flesh seemed unbearably cold as soon as his fingers had left it. It was as if part of me was suddenly missing, something that I wanted, something that I needed.
* * * *
“I have to leave again mother,” I said that night before my mother went to bed.
“Leave to where?” she asked, her voice rising in pitch.
“Sherwood,” I whispered the name, thinking of Robin and how he had told me he was sorry. I had to go back there, I just had to. “I’ll be back someday mother,” I said.
I heard her sniffle once or twice before coming over to me and wrapping her arms around me. “But you have to get married and be a lady and-
“Mother!” I pulled away. “Please! Just try and understand me for once! I don’t want that. Any of it!” I yelled, pulling the cloak over my eyes and running out the door and to the stables. I climbed on the horse I had ridden back and left, the sounds of my mother’s sobbing remaining with me until I reached the forest.
A gentle wind blew my cloak hood off slightly, releasing a few strands of hair. They tickled my face as I rode along, hoping to come across the men. “They’re probably all asleep, it’s the middle of the night after all,” I said, sighing. I hadn’t memorized the way to the camp yet, I had never really been out of camp those days I had spent in Sherwood because I was either being shown around camp, training somewhere near camp, or messing everything up.
“Ailwin?” a voice dragged me from my thoughts. I heard footsteps approaching the horse. “Is that really you?”
I nodded. “I’m back Will, what are you doing up so late? And what are you doing out of camp?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. I felt his eyes resting on me and I could almost feel that he was sorry. I couldn’t see it in his eyes, or hear it in his voice, I could just…feel it. “I’m glad you came back,” he whispered.
“Me too,” I said. “Listen, Will, I’m sorry about how I messed everything up, I really didn’t mean to-”
Will chuckled softly. “Save your breath. Its okay, and it was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t!” I said. “I should have waited and-”
“No, you were doing your job. It was perfect timing, I would have come to late, I just jumped to conclusions and told the others to attack while I went to help you.”
“But it seemed so-”
“Its fine Ailwin, now come on, let’s get back to camp. Everyone will be happy you're back.” He jumped on the horse with me and together we rode to camp, a few gasps coming from some night wanderers. I heard someone shout my arrival and the next thing I knew, cheers were reaching my ears from all around.
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