Eeehh female pirate stories are so overdone, like you have no idea. But from what I can tell she still retains her girliness, which makes it a little more original.“All hands on deck!” Father yelled, bounding up the ladder to the deck. The boat swayed dangerously back and forth. I tightened my grip on the ladder as I climbed up after father. For once I was glad I was wearing men’s garb. How embarrassing it would have been if Matthew - my father’s quartermaster - caught view of my legs!
We don't know how old she isThe storm was frightening, especially for a girl of my age
.Watch for repeating words, they make things feel awkward when you're reading it.He was raised on a small island that belonged to his father, the poor boy had never seen his father for more then a few days in a year
Again, watch for using words too closely to each other. I find reading my words out loud to myself helps me catch things like this.Much to my surprise, Prince Gavin came up from his quarters (father generously gave him his quarters for the rough voyage).
His face was ghostly white, his eyes bulged fromhis eyetheir sockets obviously scared.
The boat swayed dangerously back and forth.
I think the boat swayed back and forth dangerously sounds better, but that is just a preference.
For once I was glad I was wearing men’s garb.
You need a comma after for once.
How embarrassing it would have been if Matthew - my father’s quartermaster - caught view of my legs!
Commas would work just as well as the hyphens.
The wheel of the ship was turning frantically, I nodded and hurried to the stern.
No one was in control of the steering device? Really? That's hard to believe.
Frantically isn't really the best word. Try haphazardly or something along to lines of out of control.
Finally, That's two sentences. You need a semi-colon or period where the comma is.
The storm was frightening, especially for a girl of my age.
You've made Samantha sound a little wimpy. If she's used to being on a ship, surely she's used to storms such as this.
If you still want to talk about the storm, say something about it's ferocity, not it's scariness.
This journey was to bring the small ignorant boy prince of thirteen, Prince Gavin, to the capital.
Now, I'm a little confused on the age of Samantha. You make her sound young when you speak of how frightening the storm is, but here she's looking down on the age of thirteen.
He was raised on a small island that belonged to his father, the poor boy had never seen his father for more then a few days in a year.
Here's another run-on. You need a period or semi-colon where the comma is.
Samantha is suppose to be around twelve or thirteen. When I described Prince Gavin as a "small ignorant boy prince of thirteen" I was trying say that he was small in size and full of himself. I'll make sure to make it easier to understand that. 
120,415 Literary Works • 649,763 Reviews
Gender:
Points: 840
Reviews: 37