I think the title of this piece perfectly demonstrates everything that wrong with it.
You are too young for love and as such you don't really understand what it is so the sentiment in this piece does not come across as genuine. I'm 8 years older than you and I only have a vague idea what love is, its a complicated phenomena and can take years and many ghosts to grasp any real understanding and insight. Some people never do.
Writing should always come from a sincere place and derive from your own experience even if the subject matter is completely different to what you are. I have written from the perspective of a very old man but incorporated by ideas of loneliness into it to give it life. If there is no real emotion behind something people will not buy it.
Keep working on it and good luck.
Gender:
Points: 1846
Reviews: 27