Spoiler! :
This time everything happened in slow motion. It seemed to take an age for Sonny to get from the doors to the table that Aiden and I occupied. I gripped my bag in my lap and forced myself to take deep breaths.
His swagger was as cool as ever and, dressed all in black, he looked red hot. Glimpses of his tattoo could be seen as he lifted his arm to push Frankie lightly, a smile on his face. Were they joking about something Frankie had told Sonny about me? Anticipation flowed through my body as they neared, and I pawed a hand over my hair, careful not to mess it up, but wanting to check that it was still the same as Cassie had left it. All of the hairspray that Cassie had used seemed to have molded it into place, so I moved the hand that wasn’t clutching my bag, to my dress. I glanced at the neckline, making sure my bra wasn’t on show above the stretch of silver fabric that I hoped complimented my shape. I never usually wore anything that was low cut, but Cassie had said the dress looked so nice on, that I hadn’t really given it a second thought. Now though, I was starting to worry that I would give him the wrong impression.
There was no time to worry anymore, as their steps seemed to quicken and they arrived at our table just as the DJ started playing some music. It wasn’t so loud that I couldn’t hear what Sonny was saying to me, but it was a nice background filler.
“Hi,” I replied to his hello, watching as he and Frankie took the seats opposite Aiden and I. Warren ran off to the bar and Roz headed for the toilets.
“I’m glad you came,” he said, his coffee eyes lingering on my face as he spoke.
I felt suddenly hot. “Thanks. I wouldn’t miss it.” I sensed Aiden fidgeting next to me and when I turned back from glancing at him, I saw Sonny’s eyes on Cassie’s ring.
“That’s nice,” he said, gesturing towards my hand with a nod of his head. The motion wafted cigarette smoke my way and my nose twitched.
“Uh, thanks,” I replied. I heard Aiden snigger beside me and I turned back to him to see him laughing into his drink. I kicked him under the table and he snorted.
I caught Sonny giving him a weird look before he said something to Frankie. My ears tried to zone in on what was being said, but the music seemed to have gotten suddenly louder. I twisted in my seat to see hoards of people flooding through the doors, heading towards the once deserted bar.
It wasn’t long before Leanne and Roz were back. Leanne settled herself in the seat next to Sonny and they began laughing at something, but yet again I couldn’t hear what was being said. I frowned to myself before swallowing the last of my drink. Leanne raised an eyebrow at me but I shook my head.
“We were just saying how funny it is to see the girls who come here,” Sonny said. “I mean, some of their outfits are so try hard.”
I could feel a blush working its way up my neck and I turned to scan the room, hoping no-one at the table would notice my bright red face. The club was dimly lit, but our table was under a tacky chandelier that seemed to be projecting fluorescent light right at my face. When I finally looked back to the table, I spotted Sonny’s eyes on me again. I offered him a quick smile before deciding to check my phone. I’d promised to text Cassie when I arrived, but I’d forgotten up until now.
I had to text quickly, however, because before I knew it, Aiden had nudged my arm and I looked up to see that Sonny was leading my sister and the rest of the band back towards the rehearsal room. I grabbed for my bag and followed them, sticking close to Aiden so that I wasn’t lost in the crowds that were pouring through the doors. It was almost impossible to get out. I muttered hesitant thanks you’s and sorry’s as I pressed firm to Aiden, a group of guys squishing me between him and the wall as they barged past. Aiden glanced behind himself before seeing my predicament. I felt a hand brush my waist and I looked down to see that it was one of Aiden’s, thrust out towards me so that he could help me battle my way through the wall of people. I grabbed on tight to him, forcing all thoughts from band practise out of my head.
I didn’t know the club could hold so many people. They were everywhere, swarming over the bar and cloakroom likes ants on a picnic. I took an elbow to the ribs just as I was pulled free from the crowds. I choked on the scent of perfume and sweat and the pain in my side disorientated me for a second until I saw Sonny disappearing behind a door. My ears were buzzing with the sound of music and chatter and I felt already half deaf, without even listening to Leanne’s band yet. I couldn’t remember Aiden dropping my hand but he wasn’t holding onto me anymore. Instead, he was rushing to catch the others up. I hurried too, not wanting to be left to fight my way back through to the dance floor on my own.
Inside, the room was a hive of activity. Sonny was man-handling his guitar, a concentrated look on his face, and Warren was behind him, carrying a keyboard with the help of Roz, drum sticks sticking out of the back pocket of her leather skirt.
“You okay?”
I stopped scanning the room for Aiden and my sister to see the same burly bouncer from outside, studying my face with an almost concerned expression. Glancing down, I realised I was holding onto my side and was probably wearing a grimace.
I nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”
“Are you going with them?” he asked, pointing with a beefy hand over to where Aiden and Leanne were talking by another door on the other side of the room.
I nodded again before crossing over to them. The bouncer seemed nicer than he had been outside, but I couldn’t help feeling like he was going to kick me out at any minute.
“Harriet, can you help Aiden carry this?” Leanne said as soon as I’d reached her. “Only he can’t carry his bass and an amp at the same time.”
“Sure,” I replied, upon having Aiden’s black bass guitar thrust into my arms. “No problem.”
“Thanks,” Aiden said as we both watched Leanne rushing over to help Sonny with his amp. “You’d have thought they’d have already set this up, wouldn’t you? At least they got Roz’s drum kit ready. All hell would have broken loose otherwise.” He blew a strand of hair out of his face, both his arms occupied with holding up the amp. “So you enjoying being a groupie?”
I laughed shakily, the pain in my side still there. “It’s fun. The dashing about. The heavy instruments. The almost getting squashed against a wall. Thanks for saving me, by the way.”
Aiden smiled. “No problem. I’d have had to carry this on my own if you’d have been crushed to death.”
“Good point.”
We shared a laugh just as Leanne clapped her hands together to call everyone to attention.
“Ready?” Leanne’s voice was loud, echoing about the almost empty room. It looked like some sort of storeroom that had been made into a make-shift rehearsal studio. “We’re going the back way.”
Everyone nodded except Sonny. His concentrated expression was gone, replaced with a nervous look. I felt myself frown. Why would he need to be nervous? He was Sonny Potts. He was a rock God. Rock God’s didn’t get nervous.
“He’s always like that before gigs,” Aiden said, having seen me gazing worriedly at Sonny. “He goes into a weird sort of trance. It’s best not to talk to him.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“He won’t shout at you or anything,” Aiden assured me. “But it’s just better if you let him settle.”
I nodded weakly, unable to process what I was seeing. Was Sonny’s confidence all an act? Was he really a bundle of nerves before he performed? I glanced at Leanne to see that she was bouncing up and down on her toes, a look of excitement on her face. Her red lips were stretched wide and her black, glittery eyes were set on the door. She looked like she was going to chew the hinges off if we didn’t move soon.
Almost as if he’d read my thoughts, a different bouncer to the one who had been outside, this one tall and skinny, opened the door Leanne had been staring at and started to usher us through. We were being guided down a long corridor, dimly lit and smelly. It probably led to the dustbins, full of empty bleach bottles and beer glasses. The stench lingered in my nose as I tried to focus on breathing through my mouth. I shifted Aiden’s bass to my right side, the left still throbbing a little, and fell into step with him.
Music could be heard through the papery walls and I recognised the song instantly. It was the one from dance practise. The song I’d made Aiden dance to. I didn’t have long enough to worry about Aiden saying something though, because thankfully we came to the end of the corridor.
“Those steps lead up to the stage beside the DJ booth. You can set up there,” the skinny bouncer said, gesturing to a small concrete staircase.
Leanne was up them in an instant, chattering away to Sonny even though he didn’t appear to be listening. He moved to the back of the stage, which was a raised platform next to the DJ booth, and started tuning his shiny red guitar. He still looked anxious and I had to fight away the urge to go over to him. If Aiden said it would be best to leave him, then disturbing him would be the wrong thing to do.
“You can drop that there if you want,” Aiden said, nodding towards a space to the left of Sonny. “Well, when I say drop, I don’t actually mean drop.”
I smiled and gently set the bass guitar down against the amp that Aiden had already placed on the stage. He started plugging it in, before he began tuning it. I stood useless, watching dumbly as Roz and Leanne checked the drum kit over and Warren and Frankie positioned the keyboard onto its stand. I hadn’t seen Frankie come through the corridor, but then I hadn’t really been paying attention to much. Sonny’s behaviour was still playing on my mind. I glanced over at him again to see that he was watching the dance floor. I turned to look too, seeing bodies moving in time to the dance song that was blaring from the speakers. It was louder up here on the stage and the buzzing in my ears had gotten worse.
“You can watch from the side of the stage with Frankie,” Leanne shouted into my ear as she passed, on her way to fetch the microphone from behind me. I jumped out of the way, feeling even more out of place by the second. There was nothing I could do to help and I hated feeling in the way.
“Okay?” Aiden asked, standing back up after being crouched down next to his amp. He dipped his head so that he could pull the strap around his neck. His bass guitar swung about by his waist, its neck bouncing precariously close to my knees.
“Yeah. Excited?”
He nodded. “I can’t wait. This is going to be great.”
I smiled back before peeking Sonny’s way. My heart stammered as I caught him looking at me. I offered him a smile too and he mirrored my expression, only with a little less enthusiasm. He really is nervous.
Before I knew it, it was time for The Dead Atlantic to play. They all took their places to the sound of the DJ announcing their arrival. For a local band they were pretty well known and the cheers that they picked up their instruments to was proof of that.
“Good evening, The Rooster!” Leanne exclaimed, already looking completely at home behind the microphone at the head of the stage. Her grin was huge as she straightened the vest top she was wearing. She’d paired it with a pair of leopard print leggings. Wearing heels, her legs seemed to go on forever, and I spotted a few of the guys in the audience ogling her outfit.
The crowd cheered, sending the volume in the place sky high. I recoiled a touch, almost backing straight into Frankie. He beamed and gave me the thumbs up. I grinned back.
“This is going to be mental,” he shouted over the sound of Aiden on bass.
Roz started drumming out a heavy rhythm then, and I could feel the music starting to pound through my body. Soon after, Sonny joined in, wearing a confident smile now. I felt relieved at seeing him happy and my own mood improved to the sound of Leanne belting out the first verse of a song called, ‘Alive.’ I recognised it as the song that Cassie had complained about. She had a point; it was a heavy song, but Leanne’s voice complimented Sonny’s guitar perfectly and every word she spat had the exact same venom as every chord that Sonny played.
The second song was ‘Lies’ and the audience reacted with just as much vigor as they had to the first song. Warren’s intro on keyboard was haunting and Roz struck the symbols with such enthusiasm that I was waiting for one of them to fly off and smack me in the face.
I was starting to sweat by the third song. It was hot at the side of the stage. The fluorescent spotlights seemed to be radiating heat and even though I wasn’t on the dance floor, surrounded by bodies, I could still feel the material of my dress starting to stick to me. ‘Kick up a fuss,’ was fast and furious and the crowd started moshing to the chorus, much to the dislike of the bouncers guarding the dance floor. I didn’t know how Leanne could do it. She was dancing around the stage. Both hands gripped the microphone and a trail of wire followed her everywhere she bounded. I was surprised she hadn’t tied her legs together yet. She was graceful even as she thrashed about, still spitting out lyrics about how you shouldn’t let anyone get you down, just because you’re different. I knew that deep down, the words were about Leanne and my dad. Their relationship had always been volatile, but I couldn’t help thinking that if he heard her sing, came to one of their gigs, he’d stop calling it a waste of time and realise that she was really talented. I knew I was proud of her. I grinned as she screamed into the microphone, whipping her hair about and stamping on the spot. I saw a couple of girls wearing clothes suited to Cassie, inch away from the stage with scared expressions on their faces. They looked completely out of place. The night had been billed as a club night and gig, but something told me that they were only here for the dance music.
The last song came about too soon. ‘In it to win it,” was the song that Leanne had dedicated to me a couple of Sundays ago. It was a touch slower than their other songs, with more focus on keyboard, but that didn’t stop Aiden and Sonny charging at each other on stage, stopping only so that they could stand back to back. It was strange to see them standing so close together. Their expressions the same as they nodded in time with their guitar playing.
And then it was over. The crowd whistled and clapped as the band unplugged their equipment and left the stage. We trolled back through the dirty corridor but this time everyone was buzzing with excitement and adrenaline. My heart was pounding even though I hadn’t even been the one playing.
“That was mental!” Aiden said, clapping Warren on the back. “Best night ever.”
Warren laughed and adjusted his glasses. “You’re right there, Dude. I thought my heart was gonna burst out my chest. So frickin’ brill.”
Leanne was doing some sort of celebratory dance with Roz and I laughed along with them. Both of them were covered in sweat, their make-up smeared under their eyes and their hair sticking up at all angles. Leanne’s bright red and Roz’s streaked with purple.
“Beast aren’t on until eleven,” Sonny said, and my eyes found him for the first time since we’d re-entered the room. “I just gotta change my top and then I’m up for getting a drink. Anyone coming?”
I didn’t want to sound too enthusiastic, but I raised my hand anyway. I caught Aiden smirking as he moved past me to chat to Frankie, who was helping Warren pack up his keyboard.
“Cool. Meet you outside the toilets in five,” Sonny said. He winked as he left the room and I felt the butterflies in my gut multiply.
“Tell him I’ll meet him by the dance floor,” Leanne said, coming up behind me. “I’ve gotta get my bag from the cloakroom so I can freshen up. I look a bit worse for wear at the moment.” She chuckled before leaving the room with Roz at her heels.
“I’m getting a drink,” Warren said, pulling on Frankie’s arm. “How about you buy me one for playing such a great set?”
Frankie laughed but let Warren pull him towards the door anyway. “You coming Aiden?”
Aiden glanced at me, his eyebrows raised, but I waved a hand in response.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll catch up with you later.”
He nodded, leaving the room with a parting wink too.
I killed the minutes until I had to meet Sonny by making sure my hair and make-up was still okay. I pulled out my compact mirror and studied my reflection hard. The eyeliner had stayed, but all of the lip gloss was gone. All that remained was a glittery line at the edge of my bottom lip. I quickly reapplied another layer before dusting on a layer of powder that Cassie had given me. It was to stop my face looking shiny apparently. It worked, ridding my skin of the greasy glow it had adopted after the gig, and making me look almost the same as when I’d left Cassie’s.
I left the room just as a bouncer entered, checking to make sure that all of the band’s equipment was safely out of the way of club goers who fancied trying to nick it. I offered the skinny man a smile as I passed him on my way to the toilets. I forced myself to breathe deeply and it worked for a while, until I spotted Sonny waiting around. My heart started pounding madly again and I gave up trying to calm the nervous and excitement building in my mid-section. I still wanted to ask him about him being nervous about going on stage, but as I approached him, my curiosity died out to the feeling of my own nerves.
“Hi,” I said, coming to a stop just behind him, my eyes set on his new blue t-shirt.
He turned on the spot and upon seeing me, he smiled. “Ready to fight your way towards the bar?”
I nodded. “As long as you promise I won’t get squashed.”
He laughed. “Here.”
For a moment I was too stunned to respond to his outstretched hand, but I finally took it, a huge grin on my face. I couldn’t help it. I’d only been trying to keep the conversation going, having no idea that I’d get to hold his hand again. I got the same feeling as last time. Blood rushing in my ears. My skin prickling with heat. My breaths shallow and short. Sonny seemed to be able to make every part of me stutter and forget its purpose. I didn’t mind though, not if I got to hold his hand.
He guided me the short journey to the bar and even though I knew he’d only taken my hand because I’d said I was worried about getting squashed, I couldn’t stop myself daydreaming about him taking my hand because he’d wanted to.
“What you drinking?” he asked once we’d reached the bar. He dropped my hand so that he could rifle for change in his back pocket. My skin felt cold without his touch but I perked myself back up by sneaking a peek at his behind, even though I knew he hated it when people did it. I smiled to myself.
“Uh, coke please. If you’re offering.”
He grinned at that. “Yes I’m offering. And you want vodka with that coke, yeah?”
I felt suddenly torn at his question, but I managed to keep a smile on my face. One on hand, I had no intention of drinking alcohol tonight. The last time I’d gotten drunk had been awful and I didn’t really fancy experiencing another hangover. Not when it only reminded me of when Cassie and I raided her mum’s alcohol stash aged fifteen. But then again, I didn’t want Sonny thinking that I was some serious kid who didn’t drink alcohol. I did drink it, but only on special occasions. My mind reasoned with me then. This is kind of a celebration. You’re celebrating a great gig.
“Harriet?”
I blinked at him before realising that there was a bartender waiting with a glass in his hand. I nodded. “Yeah, vodka’s good.”
I held my breath, half expecting to be asked for ID, but as soon as I’d agreed my order, the man had gone to make it. Maybe the make-up and hair style did make me look older.
I thanked Sonny once we’d received our drinks. He had a bottle of some kind of beer and he glugged it down quickly, stopping only when he’d run out of breath. I regarded him with a raised eyebrow before I forced myself to take a tiny sip of my drink. I could definitely taste the vodka, but it didn’t taste like I remembered. It wasn’t bitter or nasty. Probably the coke.
“Do you mind coming outside with me?” Sonny asked over the music. It had only just been turned back on again as the headline band, Beast, started setting up their instruments. “Only I need a cigarette.”
I nodded and took his hand again, letting him lead me outside.
The cold December air bit at my bare skin as I took a seat next to Sonny on the wall that lined the smoking area. Leanne had taken my coat to the cloakroom for me, when we’d arrived, and now I wished I had it back.
I watched as Sonny lit one of the cigarettes that he’d retrieved from the pack he’d had in the back pocket of his jeans. A flash of amber flame sparked up in front of me before it disappeared, replaced by the putrid smell of cigarettes and a plume of smoke whirling into the still air.
The need to ask him about his nerves started again but I gripped my glass hard, trying to forget about it. What if he got offended and walked off? I didn’t want to upset him. The last thing I wanted to do was put a dampener on his great night, but I just couldn’t let it lie.
“Something on your mind?”
I looked up to see him looking at me with a frown.
“You’ve gone all quiet on me.” He tried out a smile and I couldn’t help smiling back at him.
It’s now or never. “You looked pretty nervous before you went on stage,” I said, lowering my gaze to my glass as I spoke. I concentrated on watching the ice cubes swirl around in the coke. “I didn’t think you’d get nervous.”
Silence followed my words and I suddenly wanted to take what I’d said back. What if I really did ruin the evening? I dug my fingernails into the skin of my arm, annoyance seeping around my body.
“Everybody gets nervous.” His voice was quieter than usual. “I just guess I don’t want to let people down.”
My eyes widened at his admission. I had a feeling he’d never told anyone this before. I didn’t know if it was the injection of alcohol, or the fact that I’d surprised him into answering, but I was glad he was talking. It gave me the feeling that I was talking to the real Sonny. The one that not just anyone got to see.
“You didn’t let anyone down tonight,” I said, taking a mouthful of drink for courage. “You did great.”
Sonny shifted on the wall and took an extra-long drag on his cigarette. I watched the smoke dance in the darkness as he breathed out with a sigh. “I messed up on the second song. I came in too late. Anyone could have noticed that.”
I shook my head, the taste of vodka laced on my tongue. “I didn’t. I mean, I don’t know much about music, but I didn’t notice. It sounded great to me.”
There was a short silence again but this time Sonny was wearing a smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. It means something to know that you thought we played well.”
“Everyone thought you did great.” I was on a roll. Feeding Sonny compliments felt good. I wanted him to know how amazing I thought he was. “The clapping at the end was intense. I’m surprised my eardrums didn’t burst, actually.”
His smile grew and he chuckled. “It was kind of cool, wasn’t it?”
I nodded and my eyes fell to his lips as he sucked on the cigarette again. His lips were so kissable that I had to stop myself from leaning in. I didn’t want to ruin everything. Not when it felt like I’d just crossed a line with Sonny. I finally felt like I was getting somewhere. Instead I let my smile stretch too. I almost jumped as he nudged my shoulder with his.
“You must be freezing,” he said, setting his eyes on my dress.
I tapped my nails against my glass and nodded, even though the way he was looking at me was making me anything but cold.
He flicked his cigarette butt to the ground with the hundreds of others that already littered the floor, before standing up. “Fancy another drink?”
I downed what was left in my glass and nodded.
Gender:
Points: 30280
Reviews: 529