Young Writers Society

I think the title of this piece perfectly demonstrates everything that wrong with it.

You are too young for love and as such you don't really understand what it is so the sentiment in this piece does not come across as genuine. I'm 8 years older than you and I only have a vague idea what love is, its a complicated phenomena and can take years and many ghosts to grasp any real understanding and insight. Some people never do.

Writing should always come from a sincere place and derive from your own experience even if the subject matter is completely different to what you are. I have written from the perspective of a very old man but incorporated by ideas of loneliness into it to give it life. If there is no real emotion behind something people will not buy it.

Keep working on it and good luck.

hi... So I'll be reviewing your piece today... To start its a good piece... But the only thing is it's too short.. You should add more to it.. Like the first review i too will advice you too add some sort of a plot.. It's very bland right now.. by adding some sort of details it'll become much better... Otherwise I found it pretty good... Good job.. On making the improvements you would have a complete romantic masterpiece.. Best of luck with that...
Harshita:)

This is a first chapter?? Its good as an opening but I wouldn't use its as a chapter...maybe like a prologue?? I liked it!!

By the way it's 'I WILL leave love alone' not 'well'

Hiya,
I'm a bit confused. Maybe I'm missing something, but if it's a poem, shouldn't it be in one of the poetry forums? Or if it's not, if it's a prologue or a diary entry or something, maybe make that obvious. Cause' it looked like just a poem to me. *shrugs*
I'm sorry, I suck at reviewing poetry so..

I read it. It only serves as an attention grabber- good message, though.

Okay, I loved this poem, but it was way too short. You need some more detail in here, I liked the analogy with the shoes. But, describe the girl. What I mean is say is we want to know why the character decided to become the girl's boyfriend, why the sudden change. It will help the reader understand a little more. Also, if you want this to be a novel made up of poems, then you need a lot more plot here. This kind of poem would be better by itself. What I'm trying to say is that you're being too general. You are just talking about how that character doesn't want to fall in love. Maybe consider some of these questions, and you can use them to make this poem more plot-filled: Did he have his heart broken earlier? Did that heart break cause this character to believe that he's too young? Is the girl different in some way? Could there possibly be a chance that the girl will make him change his mind?
Just a few things to consider. I hope this will help you in some way. But, overall I loved the poem, it flowed nicely and had some good figurative language. Keep on writing!

Very nice. I like the simplicity of it. It was really nice. Is this a novel, or just a poem? I think it could be the beginning (like a prolouge or something) of a story, and that it would turn out really good. I like this, keep writing!