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Young Writers Society


Sometimes, chapter Twenty-five



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Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:31 pm
xDudettex says...



Spoiler! :
I'm back. This part has a cliff-hanger ending too. *Insert evil laugh here.*

In the last chapter; Harriet watched The Dead Atlantic and found out that Sonny isn't as perfect as she'd thought.

Enjoy!


Aiden almost made me drop my glass as Sonny lead me back towards the bar. I was enjoying the feel of Sonny’s hand on mine, deciding that I could really get used to it, when I felt two sharp pinches on my waist. The sensation sent two jolts of surprise up my spine and I snapped my head around to see him standing behind me, a grin on his face.

Sonny laughed with him and, after I’d pouted for all of two seconds, I laughed along with them.

“You’ve found the bar then, Mate,” Sonny said, patting him on the shoulder.

Aiden nodded enthusiastically, his hair flopping into his face completely. He snorted. “Yep. They’re giving us free shots, because we were amazing on stage. Well, that’s why I reckon anyway.”

I laughed again as I watched him bouncing around on the spot. He was acting like a child who’d eaten a tub of sherbet. “You’re drunk off two shots?”

He frowned then, giving Sonny an eye roll. “No, silly. I had a beer before the gig, too.”

“Ooh, lightweight!” I giggled. “You better stop now before you start trying to beat everyone up.”

“I’m not drunk,” he insisted, patting me on the head.

I threw his arm off and straightened my hair out, suddenly conscious of keeping my image perfect for Sonny again.

Aiden chuckled. “You look fine. Coming to get some free drinks?”

I looked up at Sonny to see him raising an eyebrow at Aiden. When he saw me peering at him, however, he smiled. “Sure. Let’s go.”

We soon found Warren and Leanne at the bar. They were downing shots like there was no tomorrow and I grimaced as Warren drank a shot the colour of pee.

“What is that?” I asked, pulling on a grimace similar to the one he was wearing at the taste of the alcohol.

“Some sort of Sambuca,” he replied, wiping his chin to mop up any spilled liquid. He licked his hand before grimacing again.

“I’m not having any of that,” I said to Sonny, who was also watching Warren with a twisted expression.

“No. Me neither. We can stick to the safe stuff,” he said before ordering a round of shots from the same barman who’d served us earlier. He didn’t even glance at me this time as he started lining up shot glasses across the bar.

Aiden was standing on the other side of me, tapping his fingers along the edge of the counter. I turned to look at him and he smiled.

“I’m not drunk.”

I rolled my eyes. “I was only kidding.”

“I know,” he replied, scooting up closer to me as a group of lads thrust themselves into the tiny gap at the front of the bar. His arm pressed against mine but he didn’t seem to notice. His eyes were on the shots the barman was preparing for Sonny. “You’re actually going to drink some of that?”

I nodded. “Course.”

“What happened to serious Harriet? Have you killed her off in favour of a new and improved version?”

I laughed. “I bought the fun Harriet out tonight.”

“Good,” he said, reaching across me to grab two of the shots that the barman had just filled up with what I assumed was vodka. I didn’t look pee coloured at least. “I like the fun Harriet.”

“Good,” I said.

He offered me one of the shots. “To the fun Harriet?”

“To the fun Harriet.”

He grinned before we drank the shots on the count of three. The liquid burned my insides as it slid down my throat, but it was over in seconds, leaving me with a light buzz instead.

“Now you have to do one with me,” Sonny said, and I turned to my right to see him waving another shot glass at me.
I had a feeling this was going to get messy.

Before long, I was downing shots that were all colours of the rainbow. The red ones tasted sweet like strawberries and the green ones tasted of sour apples. We were all wearing grimaces as we sank the shots of alcohol and I could feel the light buzz radiating around my body, leaving me feeling daft and happy.

“Ooh!” Leanne’s face screwed up with delight as she set what could have been her sixth shot glass down onto the bar and pointed to the DJ in appreciation. “I love this song. Let’s dance.”

I smiled as she made a grab at Sonny’s arm. He let her lead him towards the dance floor. Warren had disappeared a while ago, and Roz had taken up post on a bar stool, set on flirting with the bar man who’d been serving us for the past half an hour. I hadn’t seen Frankie for a while either, so that left Aiden and I alone at the bar.

He offered me the last shot and I eyed it carefully, not sure whether I should add to the fuzzy feeling that was slowly making its way around my head.

“Oh, go on,” he said, pushing the shot glass into my hand. “Or has the serious Harriet returned?”

I took his teasing smile as a challenge and tipped the clear liquid into my mouth without a second thought. I set the glass back onto the bar and gave him a resolute look as the alcohol burned my throat. “Nope. She’s gone for good.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said.

I watched as his gaze flickered to the dance floor and I turned around to see Sonny begrudgingly letting Leanne twirl him around in the limited space that the crowded room offered. They looked like they were having fun, though, and I found the music calling to me like it did at dance class.

“You’re going to dance with me,” I said, pursing my lips at Aiden’s dazed expression. “You don’t have a choice.”

“You know I don’t do dancing,” he replied, though his gaze was pulled back to Sonny and Leanne and I knew he secretly wanted to join them.

“Oh come on,” I said. My hand was on his arm in an instant. “Don’t be so serious.”

Aiden raised an eyebrow at my choice of words and I giggled at the look on his face. “Fine,” he said at last. “Lead the way.”

I couldn’t help grinning as I slipped my hand down his arm so that I could take his hand. “This way,” I trilled, the music already coursing round my body.

It was almost like the dancing bodies parted for us as I pulled Aiden onto the dance floor. It was hot under the lights and in between the groups of people who were moving to the beat as if their lives depended on it. My smile grew as I halted near the middle of the crowd. The atmosphere was the best here, right in the heat of the action. I dropped his hand and span on the spot.

“Come on then,” I shouted over the bass line thumping out of the speakers. “Get your groove on!”

Aiden twitched from side to side and it was clear that even with all of the Dutch courage in his system, he was still feeling awkward.

I smiled reassuringly. “Here, copy me.” I took his hand again and swayed from side to side, raising our hands into the air and a smile to his lips.

His gaze lingered on our linked hands and I suddenly felt like blushing. Was I flirting again? If I was, I was so blaming the shots. I tried to draw his attention away from our hands by changing the tempo of our dancing. I side stepped a guy staggering with a pint of lager before jumping up and down on the spot.

“This isn’t so hard, is it?” I exclaimed as Aiden joined me in the air.

He smiled. “I guess not. You’re a good teacher.”

I threw my head back and laughed. “I’m not teaching you much. Just how to lighten up and let loose.”

I dropped his hand then, trying to be tactful about how I did it, and started shimming my hips around to the beat. I caught Sonny’s gaze for a moment and my heart rate doubled.

I turned back to Aiden to see him watching me dance. I was dipping and rising to the uneven bass line and somehow one of my hands had found its way to the back of my neck. Had I been trying to get Sonny to notice me? Aiden’s expression was unreadable and I poked his shoulder to get his attention.

He seemed to blink with recognition. “I’m going to go find Frankie,” he announced in my ear, a friendly hand on my back to stop me from bounding out of his reach. My skin prickled under his touch and I laughed to distract myself.

“You’re bailing on me already?”

He shook his head. “Promise me another dance later?”

I nodded at his almost serious expression before he left, leaving me alone on the dance floor.

I only realised I’d stopped dancing when Leanne and Sonny appeared beside me.

“We’re getting more drinks,” Leanne said, pulling on my arm like an impatient child. Her eyes were a little glassy and I decided it was the alcohol. “Sonny’s buying so don’t say no.”

I laughed at Sonny’s eye roll, allowing whatever strange feelings I’d been experiencing to disappear as quickly as they’d come.

“Fancy a cocktail?” Leanne asked, once we’d reached the bar. “They’re really good.”

I looked to Sonny for approval and he nodded. “They’re mostly juice too, so you won’t taste the alcohol.”

I smiled up at him warmly, my head fuzzier than it had been the last time we were at the bar, and nodded. “Go for it.”

He grinned back at me and waved a barman over. Leanne was now chatting to a guy dressed in a sailor’s costume, so I set my eyes on the dance floor again. Everyone seemed to be moving in time with each other, giving off the effect of a human ocean with arms swaying and heads bobbing. I couldn’t see Aiden anywhere and I guessed he was searching outside or in the toilets. I couldn’t remember where I’d last seen Frankie. This whole night seemed to be one giant blur. The gig seemed strangely long ago, when in fact it had only ended within the hour. Beast were finishing setting up on stage and I watched as a guy in a leather jacket adjusted the same microphone that Leanne had screamed into.

“He must be sweating like a pig.”

I glanced to my left at the sound of a voice to see Warren leaning into the bar. His hair was plastered to his face with sweat and his glasses were askew.

“Pigs don’t sweat,” I replied, feeling a little odd at the thought of a conversation with him. I’d never really spoken to Warren before. He’d always been too busy chatting to Sonny or arguing with his sister.

“Huh?” he said, swaying slightly on the spot. He stumbled and gripped the bar to stay up right.

“Never mind.” He wasn’t in any fit state to understand what I was saying, so I didn’t see the point in repeating myself.

He bit his lip in what I assumed was thought before slapping a hand on my shoulder clumsily. His eyes were on my face, but I still wasn’t sure whether he was looking at me or not. “You know some pretty weird stuff,” he said, hiccupping slightly over his words. “But that’s cool.”

I smiled at his words, unsure of how to react. I didn’t know if a compliment form a drunk person counted or not. He patted me on the shoulder awkwardly before he leaned around me.

“Oi, Son. Get me a drink.”

Suddenly remembering that Sonny was behind me, I span around to see him regarding Warren with a withering look.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” he said, handing me a drink the colour of autumn. It was all reds and oranges.

Warren gave a noncommittal grunt and staggered around me to take Sonny by the arm. “Don’t be lame,” he said. “You’re no fun.”

Sonny shook his head and I saw something flash in his eyes. Annoyance? “Leave it, Warren. You’re wasted.”

Warren stood wavering on the spot for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something, but no words left his lips. Instead, Leanne came bounding towards us wearing the sailor guys hat.

“Beast are about to play!” she exclaimed, her drink sloshing in her glass as she bounced on her heels. “Come on. We gotta get a good spot!” She grabbed my arm this time, pulling me back into the crowd on the dance floor.

“Let’s go, before the chav’s invade the place!” Warren agreed, his mind no longer on the drink that Sonny never bought him. “Woo!”

I offered Sonny a smile and he seemed to forget about the almost argument too, choosing to follow the three of us into the mass of people.

The set was well worth the wait. Everyone in the crowd seemed to think so too. The atmosphere was electric and I could only imagine that this was what it must have been like when The Dead Atlantic were playing, too. Elbows and hands were flying everywhere, but I dodged them like a pro, moving to the music like I was the only one in the room. I sipped my drink cautiously, suddenly wary of ending up like Warren. He was having a good time, but I didn’t want the hangover that was coming his way.

I still found myself searching the room for Aiden as Beast moved onto their fourth song. The beat was heavy and I found it hard to search for Aiden’s mop of blonde hair in amongst jumping bodies, bobbing heads and flashing lights that seemed to blind me every time I looked near the stage. I’d almost given up when a familiar face caught my eye. Standing at the back, holding a bottle of beer and wearing a lightly interested expression, was Brandon. My gut sank to the floor and I could feel the peachy coloured drink rising in my throat. I swallowed hard and looked away, but my gaze was drawn back to him. I had to make sure that he was really here. I wasn’t sure if the alcohol was giving me hallucinations. Showing me things I didn’t want to see. Like how some people saw spiders and others snakes. I really didn’t want to see Brandon.

Things hadn’t gone badly between us, but I was adamant that nothing good would come if I talked to him tonight. Not with alcohol inside me. I didn’t want the wrong words to slur out of my mouth. I mean, what if I told him I liked him? I shuddered at the thought, just as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around to find myself looking straight into Sonny’s face. My eyes moved to his lips and I felt the urge to kiss him, ripple through my body.

“You okay?” he asked, bending down to shout over the music. His breath on my ear made my spine tingle and I gripped my glass harder.

I nodded. “You?”

He leaned in closer and his hair tickled my cheek, the smell of cigarette smoke and aftershave strong in my nose. “Enjoying your Sex on the beach?”

I felt myself blushing. “What?”

Sonny’s smile was almost a smirk. He looked so hot and I felt my skin prickling with heat again.

“What?”

“Your drink’s called ‘Sex on the beach’. I was just wondering whether you were enjoying it or not?” He winked and I felt my knees threatening to buckle. He didn’t look all sweaty and drunk like Warren did, even though he’d had more than a few drinks and the temperature in the room seemed to be on a constant rise. I could feel sweat brimming on my brow and I looked away quickly, only to spot Brandon in the sea of faces to my right. He was on the dance floor now. Still clutching his beer and wearing a blank expression. He looked out of place amongst the dancing bodies and laughing faces.

“So are you enjoying it, or not?”

Sonny’s question made me jump and I snapped my gaze back to him, almost colliding into his chest. He was standing back up straight again, watching me with a coy expression. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol in my system, but something told me that he was flirting. With me. The thought alone gave me butterflies.

“It’s good,” I replied at last, my eyes over his shoulder. I couldn’t force myself to look him. There was too much of a chance that I’d give in to the urge to kiss him and I couldn’t do that. No matter how strong the urge was. Not with Leanne around. I turned around to look for her, expecting to see her waving her fists in the air to the sound of the thumping beat, but to my surprise she was gone. Warren had disappeared too.

“She’s gone to get more drinks.”

Sonny’s voice was loud in my ear again and I could smell him. He was so close, it was almost too much for me. I’d dreamed about this moment so many times, that it was almost unreal to think that it might only be a matter of moments before I was kissing Sonny. My heart swelled through the feeling of nausea. I’d just spotted Brandon, hovering behind Sonny. He was sipping his drink whilst casually looking my way.

Annoyance seeped into my thoughts. What was he doing here? I’d been straight with him so the least he could do was leave me alone. I peered at him again, catching his eyes on me. The irritation increased. If he dared ruin my moment with Sonny.

“Are you okay?”

The thrill of Sonny’s voice in my ear, dimmed my anger at Brandon for a moment.

I nodded, setting a hand on Sonny’s shoulder so that I could lean closer to his ear. The smell of him was hypnotising and I nearly forgot to reply. “Yeah. Just a bit hot.” I flapped the hand with the empty glass in front of my face as if to prove a point. “It’s stuffy in here.”

Sonny drew back from me, studying my face carefully. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine that my face wasn’t red with heat and that my hair was still perfect. I still had a hand on his shoulder, the other now hanging loosely by my side, the glass weak in my grip.

“Harriet?”

I opened my eyes with a start. How long had I had them closed?

“Are you sure you don’t want to go outside?” Sonny looked almost worried, like he thought the alcohol had suddenly amplified in my body and I was on the verge on fainting.

I pictured Brandon following us outside, dead-set on talking to me. At least in here, surrounded by people and loud music, he couldn’t get me alone and I couldn’t hear him.

I shook my head, squeezing his shoulder lightly. “No, I’m fine.”

Sonny smiled, and I hoped it was from the way I’d touched his shoulder. “Okay. Do you want another drink?”

I glanced behind me at the bar. There were people swarming around it, all competing for attention. I nodded.

Sonny took my hand then and my pulse rocketed. “Follow me.”

I let him guide me back out of the crowds, but the minute I was free of the sweaty bodies, I spotted Brandon again. He was making his way towards the bar, and us, from the other side of the room. I didn’t know if it was the amount of alcohol I’d had, or my determination not to have my night ruined, but I suddenly stopped, pulling Sonny to a halt too. He peered over his shoulder at me.

“I changed my mind,” I called, standing on my toes so that I could speak into his ear. The heels I was wearing made me almost the same height as him, but I couldn’t deny the chance to hold his shoulder again. My thumb slipped down, touching his collarbone. “I think I’ll leave it for a bit.”

Even though he must have thought I was crazy, acting out of sorts, he still smiled and turned to walk me back onto the dance floor. I watched as Brandon followed me with his eyes, an unreadable expression on his face. Did he know I was avoiding him? I hoped so.
'Stop wishing for the sunshine. Start living in the rain.' - Kids In Glass Houses.

'Would you destroy something perfect in order to make it beautiful?' - MCR artwork.
  





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Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:29 am
demib says...



Hello!
man that is good i really couldnt stop. a lot of people have trouble tryin to get a flow goin for this kind of stuff! i love the description but lets ween off of all that talk about how yummy achahol is in this book cause that is a bad bad signal for kids. dont drink achahol its nasty! i dont drink either! Keep that pencil flowin!
"With everything that has been left unsaid,
They go with the tears you shed."
Don't shed your tears,for your words should not be left unsaid.
  





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Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:02 am
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Dragongirl says...



Ok, so you've been so good about checking out my story 'CinderAllen' and reviewing it that I figured it would only be fair if I did the same for you.

So first off, let me just say that I have been reading this as you've been posting it and I've enjoyed it.

I noticed a couple typos and I know I like it when people point those kind of things out which is why I thought I'd draw your attention to them, just so you know that I'm not trying to get all nitpicky.(well, I sort of am but you know what I mean.)

Here we go.

I didn’t look pee coloured at least. "I like the fun Harriet.”


Should be 'It' here.

I dropped his hand and span on the spot.


Believe you meant 'spun'.

All right, so I was a little confused by this line.

raising our hands into the air and a smile to his lips.


Did you mean that she was raising a smile on his lip and raising their hands at the same time, or did you just leave out a word by accident? Like maybe you meant to write 'raising our hands in the air and bringing a smile to his lips.'? You might want to clarify there.

I also wasn't so sure about this line right here.

“Enjoying your Sex on the beach?”[/color]

I felt myself blushing. “What?”


You sort of gave away the punch line by capitalizing the word 'sex'. If Harriet doesn't know what Sonny is talking about, because she is the one narrating this story, neither should we. See what I mean? It's fine to capitize the word after she understands it's a drink that he is talking about, but not until then.

Anyway I have enjoyed this story.However, like the other person who reveiwed this, I'm not sure how much I like all the drinking. I think you said this was G rated when you started it, but if your MC is doing a lot of under age drinking, you might want to up the rating a little.

I must say that the character developement is great. Harriet likable and her love for dancing seems real and I love the flare it adds to her character. I find my self rooting for her and Aiden to get together. You've done a wonderful on making Aiden someone who the reader can't help falling in love with. Keep it up.

Can't wait to see what happens next.

~DG
"Every writer I know has trouble writing." - Joseph Heller

~ A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.~
- Bill Cosby
  








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