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Young Writers Society


The Human Empire



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Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:49 pm
VampireBadger says...



Chapter Two

“Pack your bags, you’re going to school.”

“What?”

“Just get a move on will you!”

Tagg and Robin stared up at their mother in disbelief. She looked stressed, uptight and harassed. Her hair was coming out of the tight ponytail behind her and covering her face.

“Why Mama…?” Robin asked curiously.

“The government says you should get a proper education,” she growled. Tagg looked at his sister, confusion etched into his smooth features.

“But we learn a lot from you, Mama. I don’t want to go to school…”

“I wish you weren’t going either but…” She trailed away, looking at him in a helpless kind of way. They had never seen their mother look helpless before and it frightened them. Robin turned her back and disappeared to her room with a swish of her golden hair.

She had never left the farm, ever. Consequently, she didn’t know how or what to pack. Pack her bags? Go to school? How could she fit her life into a bag and uproot her world to replant it somewhere else? The idea seemsed impossible, almost silly, like a game she and Tagg would play to pass the time when they didn’t have any chores left. To go adventuring, in distant lands full of evil dragons and such, swinging swords and throwing lances along with her brother. There would be no more of that, not at the school.

What if she was separated from her brother? The thought of being away from her twin for any length of time startled her. It was never something she had to think about. Her and her brother would always be together. They would take over the farm after their mother and that would be that. If she married…? Well, her family would live on the farm with them. But her brother would always be close. That was never a question. Until now… what if they were in different classes or groups? What if boys and girls were kept apart from each other? Could she survive at school without her Tagg.

Should she pack food? No, they would have kitchens there surely. Books? Yes she should pack books. They were going to a school and books would help them learn. Her pencils and colouring things, her music books, and several sets of clothes joined the books in a large rucksack that had belonged to her dad. After that though she was lost.

Sitting down on her bed and staring out of the large window miserably, she wondered what her future would hold once more. She would have to meet new people. The prospect of this both pleased her and terrified her. Potential friends were a nice thought but surely there would be people there who didn’t like her. A teacher that picked on her or a schoolfellow who bullied her…?

Shaking her head like she was trying to rid herself of an annoying fly, she slipped off her bed and went to see how Tagg was doing with his packing.

***

Dr. Erik Malatratt gazed glumly down at the tattered suitcase before him on the not-so-soft hotel bed. Was he forgetting something? Did he really have everything? Sighing, he closed the lid switched off the Government Approved heavy metal blaring through an old, rusty radio.

Staring around him, he wondered for the millionth time how this was the best thing a vampire could afford these days. The peeling wallpaper that was stained the colour of yellow fungi, the worn wooden furniture that probable wasn’t really made of wood and the rock hard bed below him made it all seem rather grim. Not to mention the grimy sink in the corner and the inch thick layer of black dust on the tiny window.

All in all this was the lowest dung heap of the all in his opinion. He would be glad to turn his back on the sneering humans here and their stupid beliefs that although they were no better off than him, he was still the sub-species. Their asses were worth far more than his simply because of the V-shaped tattoo under his left eye. The sad thing was, they were right. The government would place their lives before his any day. In a world that claimed everybody equal, they meant every human. He was little more than an animal to them. In fact, if it weren’t for the job he’d grabbed at the school, he would be sweeping the gutter after them and forced to live off the blood of rats.

But maybe he could make a difference. He was only a young vampire, freshly made and just out of “school” half way through a rebellion he was determined to continue into this new school as a teacher. There was just something so crooked about promising every human equality and then suddenly giving the lower classes (the “financially-challenged” if you wanted to be P.C.) absolutely no choice in a life changing decision.

It was ridiculous. The rich and famous were always given the choice to become a respectable powerful vampire, a true-vampire. And the lower classes could either home-teach their children to be decent honest factory workers or something like that with a fair shot at a good life with a loving family and large house. The alternative was to send your children to “school”.

There they would get a Government Approved education free of charge, three meals a day and a nice dormitory to sleep in at night. At the end of seven years, they would be made into vampires. Oh, they had no idea what they were getting into, of course. It made no sense… Why drum the fact that vampires were a sub-species into their heads when they were about to become just that?

But the government must have thought the vampire population was getting rather low, or at least the lower type, the sub-vampire, thought Erik bitterly. It was now compulsory to go. Every boy and girl that would pass through his class would have been forced into this, into a trap where they and their parents had no say in a future of servitude to humans. And the really terrible thing, they had no clue they were pigs heading for the slaughter and he could not so much as hint or he mught lose his valuable post there.

He rubbed his gaunt, bloodless face with long hands, trying to brush away the sleep in his eyes. It was his hope that he might be able to cheat the system, that he might be able to stop the oblivious children from getting to the point where all that waited for them was the Machine.

***

It took forever to leave the farm. What with Robin packing and unpacking and re-packing her rucksack and Tagg determined to say goodbye to all his favourite chickens and Mama fussing over the both of them, they hardly seemed to get anything done. And even when they did, someone would make an excuse to redo it or undo it if only to stall for more time.

They had neither the heart or time to sell on the vampire workers, so they were told to go find work elsewhere or roam free for a while before they were snatched up by hunters who would sell them anyway or kill them. Robin would miss some of the friendlier ones but that wasn’t to be helped. As a last order, Mama sent them all to sell the animals, all except the dark horse, Blackbird who was chased into the tiny wilderness left.

Tagg was getting rather tearful with all these farewells and his sister put her arm around him affectionately. He hoped, like her, she wouldn’t be one of the few more he was going to make before he got settled at school.

The journey to the school was uneventful. But that didn’t make it any less tense, any less terrifying. They took the rusty jeep into the city and then the train straight to the school. The children watched the smoky buildings flash past at 345 mph. Mama kept checking her watch. She would be there with them until someone from the school picked them up. Then it was time for a final goodbye and no more.

20 minutes to go. It would probably be a vampire, a sub-vampire. Robin hadn’t touched the sandwiches they had packed for the journey. 15 minutes to go. Tagg turned round in his chair to see if he could spot any other new students. There was no shortage of young boys and girls like them with their parents. Some were proud, others worried, others cheerful and some like them were completely silent, finding nothing to say in the precious moments before they were forced apart.

10 minutes to go. The excitement and tension on the train heightened considerably. Robin caught the eye of an older boy who was reading a book by the light from the window. He winked at her and she quickly looked away. 5 minutes to go and the knot in her stomach was suffocating her. She looked at her mother and wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. She was grateful when Tagg finally said something, if only to hear the sound of his voice.

“Did you ever go to school, Mama?”

She shook her head. “My parent home-taught me. Like I was teaching you…” she broke off and looked around her hurriedly before pressing a little square something into Robins hand. “Take this darling,” she muttered.

It was a music box. Wooden with pretty patterns on the lid and round the sides. Robin opened it but the sound of the train drowned out the melody.

“It’s the lullaby I sing when you go to sleep,” Mama explained. “Since I won’t be there, you can sing it for me… Will you promise me you’ll sing this every night and think of me…?”

Robin nodded, tears wetting her eyes and she had to dab her face with her sleeve. While she stuffed it in her pocket, Mama turned to Tagg and held out a book, which he took slowly.

“A little something to keep you busy,” she said, pointing to the title. “A friend told me the libraries aren’t very good at school, so I thought you might like this for when you’ve got spare time…”

It was a new, glossy paperback. Shiny golden letters read the Magicians Apprentice along the top above the picture of an ancient top hat and a wand, black with white tips. .

The train was slowing down suddenly. Students were getting up and pulling their luggage along with them down the corridors. Mama suddenly became flustered and hugged both her children hurriedly, kissing them both lightly on their foreheads.

“Goodbye, my darlings… Goodbye,” she sighed and took hold of their hands. “Please promise that no matter what they teach you in that school, you won’t forget what I told you!”

They both nodded solemnly.

“Come along now,” the boy who had winked at Robin ushered them. They were blocking the isle. Glancing at their mother fondly, they let themselves be pushed and chided to the exits.

***

Dr. Malatratt looked down at the list in his hand in a half interested, casual sort of way. This was the list of students who he should keep an eye out for. A general warning was given to all teachers to look out for the younger or new students but the Headmaster had given him this so he could be sure of the older students in his class and their reputations. The sort of students who disregarded the lessons taught to them and considered themselves to be somewhat like rebels. The list was dismally short. Only five names had been put down. So much for making a difference. He would have to do a lot of hard work where rebellion was concerned.

He was standing at the station, looking over the mulling crowd of young humans attending School 231. The din was absurd. Who’d have thought that a mere fifty children could make such a noise. There was one other teacher beside him, trying to quieten the shouting, yelling, laughing, chatting students. He figured he should be trying to do the same. Raising his hands above his head, he called out to anyone who could hear him.

“Quiet now, shut up so we can tell you what groups…”

“We won’t listen to some subvampire scum telling us what to do!” jeered a small ginger haired boy near the front and his friend guffawed at his childish joke. The simple insult angered Malatratt beyond belief. He caught hold of the front of the boys top and brought him nose to nose with himself. The boy struggled uselessly against the heightened strength of the vampire.

“I am your teacher, kid! And you would do well to learn some respect!” The boy’s eyes widened in fear, all smugness gone from his freckled face. The students around them had fallen into tense silence. Dropping the boy to the ground, and glancing at the other teacher who stared back, a warning expression on his face, he addressed the crowd again.

“If I call your name, come and line up here in front of me. If I do not, then go to,” he caught the name on the other teacher’s chest, “Mr. Delfelious here.” He glanced down at his list. Under the five neatly typed names was his own scribbled handwriting, telling him the names of his entire class. “Sara Anderson…”

A dark haired girl wove her way through the crowd to stand in front of him nervously. She glared at him with a mixture of horror and hatred. He smiled down at her, but she looked quickly away. He wondered whether she, like the ginger haired boy thought him beneath her.

“Richard Cartly…”

A boy this time, blond and slightly fat, stumbled forward to the spot behind Sara.

“Robin and Tagg Docherty…”

Another blonde boy, dragging his twin sister by the hand. They both looked terrified of him, but there was no hate in those clear blue eyes. He felt a little relieved. At least there would be two new faces who weren’t a hopeless cause before he had begun the very first lesson.

“Forrest Fawkland…”

He was one of the older boys on the “naughty list” and he wasn’t disappointed. Forrest strode forward confidently, a broad smile spread across his face.

“Good afternoon, Sir!” he beamed, and Malatratt had to stop himself from laughing at Mr. Delfelious’ horrified expression. Instead of standing at the end of the line, he stepped in beside Sara, nudging her and flashing white teeth. She scowled at him, moving away slightly.

Malatratt shook his head, hiding a sly smile. Here was a boy who didn’t listen to his elders. And in these twisted times of false equality, that was the sign of a really good student.
if at 1st you don't succeed, eat the leaf of a sicamore tree and stand naked in a barrel of newt eyes with a frog in your mouth!
  





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Sat Aug 04, 2007 3:50 am
Jiggity says...



You are ridiculously talented for your age. This was a fantastic continuation of the first piece, and in my opinion one of the better works I've seen on this site in a very long time. And I've been here for a while. That being said, I am influenced somewhat by your age, lol. It shouldn't be possible but then Sam is much the same.

In any case there were a few minor errors I'm sure you'll pick up.

20 minutes to go


Write that. Twenty minutes to go. And etc, actually putting numbers in is not on; throws you off in a bad way and the very nicely done countdown effect was ruined by it. So change it.

I'm going to suggest that you not reveal the title of the book Tagg was given. You give away too much too quickly, and I think thats better suited to coming up later.

Very nicely done. Kudos.
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko
  





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798 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 6517
Reviews: 798
Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:23 am
Jiggity says...



You want a grown up crit? Lol, most of my crits are pretty much the same, regardless of the person. I make general comments on the story, whether it works or not, and point out things that should be changed. I was really impressed by this because of your age, yes, but thats not to say I don't take it seriously.

Only, this kind of work I expect from many of the older writers here (and don't often get) so apologies if I overemphasised. There's not much to add, only again I'll reiterate that you gave too much away. I am a 100% positive that book title is something that should be revealed later, and maybe you should consider witholding the plot to turn children/students into vampires.

Unless of course thats not a major plotline, and you have other things up your sleeve. I havent mentioned this before, because I'm prepared to wait but I do hope some of the following questions will be answered in forthcoming chapters:

Why is it that the government is turning students into a sub-species that has no real use in their society? Usually, governments want nothing to do with them.

How is it that they have the power to do this anyway? In the sense that, how have a powerful species such as the vampire--not only been captured and subjagated to such an extent, but controlled right up until the point of stopping or increasing population numbers. I mean, a V tattoo isnt going to stop me from ripping your throat out if you looked at me the wrong way--were I vampire, unless of course it was bespelled.

The same applies to the werewolves. But those are just general inquiries about the world in which the story is set, I'm sure they'll be answered.

Her and her brother would always be together


She and her brother//Or, They would always be together.

Good work.
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko
  








constant state of confuzzle
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